C-sections

SO and Hospital Time

My hospital estimates a 4-night stay for a c-section.  Since this is our first, my husband is planning to stay the whole time, outside of a few trips home here and there. 

Out of the blue yesterday he asked if he should go in to work one of those days because he thought we'd just be sitting there bored, watching tv and he could save the day of leave.  I know we don't have to cook and clean while we're there, but I still can't fathom us sitting around twiddling our thumbs!

For those who have gone through a longer stay after a CS before, what are the hospital days like? Does the time go by quickly?

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Re: SO and Hospital Time

  • I stayed 3 nights for both of my c/s.

    I was exhuasted and needed help getting in/out of bed and needed help taking care of the baby - whether it was changing some of the diapers or just letting me get some sleep.  I EBF so I tried to sleep when the baby didn't need fed.

    That said, I would be comfortable with my DH going in to work one day as long as my mother or someone else I really really like could be there with me while he was gone.  I would not settle for my MIL or any of his siblings, as I'm not too fond of them and don't want to listen to their unwanted advice.

    In fact, for my second c/s, DH stayed with me the first night while my mom stayed home with DD1, and then he stayed home overnight while my mom stayed in the hospital with me.  As long as I had one of them there for help, it was fine.

    The nurses will be available for help, but they can't be in your room all day long for every little thing you will want or need (say, bringing you something from your bag).

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  • I only stayed 2 nights with DS and my new OB said that they usually only do 2 night stays as well. DH was there with me at night and it was really helpful. During the day between visitors and nurses I was always fine when DH wasn't there. Once I was up I didn't spend a ton of time in the bed because it was harder to get out of, especially if no one was around. I usually sat in the glider or one of the chairs unless I wanted to rest.
  • I was there 2 nights and was quite bored a lot of the time. DD just slept and nursed and slept some more. DH was going crazy in the hospital he went home or left to get food a lot. I really did spend a lot of time doing nothing but starring at a sleeping baby.
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  • We were in the hospital 9 days after DS was born - I was discharged after the 2nd night, but DS was on IV antibiotics and I stayed with him.

    Four nights seems like a long time. You probably will get antsy and be ready to go home before four nights pass. Still, I don't think DH would have wanted to do a full day at work, and I wouldn't have wanted him to. There isn't a lot to do at the hospital (especially when LO is asleep), but it's still exciting for the first few days. By that last day, you'll be ready to go.

    I was able to do a lot on my own by the third or fourth day, but I still appreciated help. The nurses helped when DH or my parents weren't there, so being alone wasn't that big of a deal. I would have preferred company, though.

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  • I've had 3 c sections and my hubby has never stayed overnight with me because of having kids at home.  My hubby went to work with my first and second because he'd just started at new companies and didn't have time to take.  With my third, he had time to take it off, but took the time off after I'd come home since we had someone to help with the kids the week I was in the hospital, but not the week after.  This time he's taking off while I'm in the hospital, but won't stay overnight.  He has work obligations the week after and my MIL will be there to help me so he'll be working the week I'm home.  He won't stay at the hospital all day with me and I'm ok with that.  He hates hospitals because his first wife had a health condition that had her in and out of the hospital until she died.  That said, for me I wasn't tired at all after my c sections and I am one of those people who don't like being helped.  I'm already annoyed that the nurse at the hospital implied I won't be able to care for my child without the help of my husband on the first night.  I did it just fine with my third child.  The only downfall to having him not be there the whole time is that it can get lonely on occasion, but I'm planning on lining up some of my mommy friends this time to pop in to say hi.    

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  • I was there 4 night and needed a lot of help, I can't imagine DH not being there. He helped in and out of bed, with my hip band from after the c-section, I couldn't even shower alone. My LO was in the nicu but I actually think it would have been impossible to not have DH there the whole time if LO was rooming in and I had to take care of her. But there are nurses there to help you when ever you need it. So I guess that is up to you but I would have had a very hard time without DH.

    We have already decided DD will stay with grandparents the whole time for the birth of #2 so DH can still be there with me the whole time. But he wants to be there, it is an exciting time for him to.

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  • 4 nights is a really long time. I asked to be discharged after 2 nights an was released insurance will pay for 3 nights so ask your insurance not hospital what will be covered. DH stayed with me except a quick trip home to shower and bring the dogs in for the night.

    The first night I had a catheter in so no need to get up to pee and the 2nd day/night I was able to move pretty good by myself. We were in on a Sat and Sunday discharged Monday and had a constant stream of visitors and nurses so no I was not bored. Monday before we were released, we didn't have any visitors so I guess it depends if you are in over the weekend when you'll get a lot of visitors.
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  • Both mine were 4-5 nites.  Honestly, DH only stayed with me the first nite.  With the nurses coming in every few hours and the uncomfortable bed he had, he got no sleep.  Plus we had a lot of pets at home.  He would stay for most of the day (he'd work from home in the morning) but I had so many visitors that the few hours he wasnt there was fine.  With DS (our 2nd child) I told him to not even bother staying the night (DS was born at 1am).  My parents had DD and again, DH would get stuff done in the mornings and then visit.  The time went by super quick--learning to nurse, getting to know the babies etc.  Yes, I even got to take naps (when there wasnt someone in my room--I can remember telling DH to leave one day cuz I was so tired/just wanted to sleep and then in walked 5 visitors).  I have a friend who didnt let her DH leave her side--I'm independent to begin with so I didnt mind him leaving.  My recoveries were easy so I didnt need help getting up/down, holding the baby etc
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  • I was there 3 nights, 4 days, and DH slept at home each night. He'd be there first thing in the AM, and would go home right before I went to bed. The pull out bed was awful, our dog needed attention, and DH needed a shower.
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  • We stayed 4 nights by choice with the last baby, we were enjoying the peace and quiet before we went home to our other kids!  If you're okay with your DH going to work one day, I don't think it's that big of a deal.  DH left from 7am-4pm or so on one of the days we were there, I just relaxed and napped and hung out with the baby.  

    That said, I'd caution him that if you have a rough recovery, he may need to stick around.  My recoveries were fast and easy so I was fine to be alone with the baby in my room, but if you're struggling you'd probably want him (or someone) there. 

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  • Thanks for all the input!  Four days definitely seems like a long time, but both the doc and the lady on the hospital tour said that's their norm.  I'll see if he can play it by ear rather than deciding in advance to see how things go.
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  • imagenealbl:
    I was there 2 nights and was quite bored a lot of the time. DD just slept and nursed and slept some more. DH was going crazy in the hospital he went home or left to get food a lot. I really did spend a lot of time doing nothing but starring at a sleeping baby.

    this. We were there three nights and baby slept, baby nursed, rinse, and repeat. I could not wait to leave and DH would get stir crazy and leave to go home or get food or what not. I would be totally fine with DH going to work one day, I really needed DH at night, more for company than anything else.  

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  • I was there 3 nights after DS was born. Born Saturday, went home Tuesday afternoon. DH went to work Monday, only because my mom was available to be with me. If it wasn't for her, he would've stayed with me. He didn't want me to be alone. I really appreciated her being there since it was really hard to move around the first week. It was nice to have my mom hold him, or hand him to me if I didn't want to get up. DH did spend all the nights with me at the hospital.

    Tuesday she was going to come up but it was raining, so DH was done with work early. I was by myself in the am but that was ok. People (nurses/drs/BF consultant/newspaper lady) were always coming in and out of the room. Really if I needed help, the nurse would help me.

    For twiddling your thumb, we brought a laptop. With interruptions all the time, it was nice having DH there to hear things for himself too. It was nice not to be alone. 

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  • I was in the hospital for 3 nights.  LO was in my room almost the whole time.  (He was gone for less than an hour when he was circumsized, around an hour when he had an echocardiogram to check a heart murmur and his newborn hearing test, and about 30 minutes each evening when he was weighed and checked by the nurses in the nursery.)  Therefore, we were busy taking care of him.  DH was in charge of changing LO's diapers and handing LO to me when LO was hungry.  Since LO was up every 1 1/2 to 2 hours to eat, we took naps and enjoyed having some time to just hang out and watch TV (the Olympics) during the day.  We also had a lot of friends and relatives who came to visit.

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  • Awww he's so cute thinking he'll be bored, lol!!

    Honestly it depends on how involved he wants to be and how your recovery goes. I lost a lot of blood and was pretty weak after my c/s and I couldn't move very well. The hospitals policy where I delivered was no baby care on the bed so DH was the one pretty much doing everything the first couple days other than feeding DS. He was up when I was up at night with him to hand him to me b/c I couldn't get up to get him. Then as I got up and going he was there to help me around.

    We ended up being in from Monday night (started monitoring for attempted induction, c/s was Tues) until Saturday morning b/c DS ended up not being discharged until then and even though I was discharged Friday they just moved my room and let me stay the night with him. DH was there the whole time, well most of it, but every night. I definitely don't think he would use the word "bored" to describe any of it. We watched tv and talked and gushed over DS. The last night we were there the nurses wheeled in a tv on a cart that had a DVD player and DH went and get a couple movies for us to watch. (It was a small hospital and I think there may have been one other woman on the floor at the time.)

    That being said if you're feeling up to it and he wants some "me time" to process things let him go for a couple hours. Maybe when you have some visitors to keep your mind off him not being there.

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  • I went in for a scheduled c/s with my twins on a Thursday morning and was released Monday morning.  I would have absolutely no problem DH going to work.  As long as he didn't work the day I was coming home and the day the baby was born, I'd much rather have him home when we're actually HOME and you're on your own. 

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  • I needed his help. I could not easily get up to tend the baby on my own and needed to pass her off quickly if I did need to cough or something. The nurses were TERRIBLE to me. They just weren't baby friendly and would have liked me better if I'd left DD in the nursery and just slept the whole time. 

     

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  • I'm about to have a RCS but with DD MH still worked with the exception of the day of the birth. During the day I would have random people visiting like my parents, FIL, friends. But, for the most part it was spent feeding DD, resting, walking around. It was pretty boring.
    I'm hoping my OB will DC me early this time because I really do not want to be in the hospital for 4 nights again...
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  • I stayed in the hospital 4 days, 3 nights. I wasn't allowed to get out of bed for 24hrs after surgery and was told that if DH didn't stay with me, they wouldn't let DS stay in the room with me. It was hard to sit-up and get out of bed the first day or two but getting back into the bed was the worst!

    I didn't have any family there and only 2 couples of our friends visited while we were there. ILs came to visit 1x but only stayed for like 30min. I was surprised. Overall, I was very bored.

    I couldn't really sleep at all during the day and if I did fall asleep somehow, a nurse would be coming in to check on me... or check DS... or bring me meds... or the newborn photographer... or the birth certificate people... or the dang people that wanted to vacuum the room every. single. day.

    DH was off work, but he left each day for like 5-6hrs to go home and shower and whatever. He has extremely poor time management/estimation skills. It was rather annoying because I didn't have that option. After being the pregnant one and having major surgery, I think if I have to be bored out of my mind while DS slept, he should have to too!

    DH did bring me food and brought his laptop and some Netflix movies, so that was nice. 

  • No, it was very thumb twiddly, for us. Brand new babies sleep a lot. You stay in bed a lot. There just isn't much to do. I begged to go home early because I was miserable.

    That being said, I don't know that I would have wanted my husband to go to work. I suppose I might be underappreciating the "wasting a day of leave" aspect since my husband took 8 weeks the first time around and 16 the second time so a day for us would have been kind of irrelevant, but I think I would have preferred he stay with me in hospital.
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  • bored! lol!

    our child was hungry every 2 hours (i was bfing), so he was helping position her onto me, fetching me water/food, talking to family member.

    i think we slept 2 hours in 3 days.

     

  • I was in the hospital from Friday afternoon (induced) thru Saturday (c/s) and left at 10am on Wednesday. My husband stayed the whole time except to run some errands or go home and shower.

    No, we weren't crazy busy, but I can't imagine him NOT being there. I would be pissed if my husband left me to go to work while I was still in the hospital.

    Things might be different this time because we have our first son to think/worry about, but he sure as heck won't be at work!

     

    This time I will also push to go home after 3 nights (if I have another c/s) and not stay the extra night. But I wasn't bored, I was in pain and it was nice to have the nurses around to help too - but if I had to be there, I wanted him there too.

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  • I had a c/s on Tuesday.  DH was with me all day Tuesday, and stayed over Tuesday night, but has gone to work every other day this week so he can be home to help out next week when I'm home.  Wednesday was a little rough - it was tough getting out of bed by myself - but since then, I've been fine.  And honestly, all newborns do is eat, sleep, and need diaper changes.  I've been playing on my laptop with the TV on for 2+ days now.  If I need anything (or need help with anything), there are nurses here to help out.  I had friends visiting on and off as well, and DH has come after work every evening.  The time doesn't necessarily go quickly, but IMO it's not any faster/slower if DH is here.  I'm being discharged today - waiting on discharge paperwork for DD, a visit with the staff pediatrician, my flu & TDaP shots, and DH to get off work - but I've pretty much been fine on my own here with DD.
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  • Maybe on the 4th day he can go to work. I was in too much pain to get up and down, and for a while even had a catheter so I couldn't get up if I wanted to. You can always call the nurse if the baby wakes up and you need it brought to you - but I didn't like that. I needed someone, preferably DH, to bring the baby to me and change diapers, etc.
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  • I personally like my hubby there, just b/c he's there to help me in and out of the bed, get things I need and keep me company :)  The first day I sleep alot just b/c of the anestisia etc.  The hospital policy is that another adult must be there the first night after a c/s for help or baby has to go to the nursery (NOT going to happen) but for the 2nd and 3rd night he will be going home with our little girl our son will stay at my parents but our daughter won't :(  

    I've always went home 48 hours after my c/s but since we have 2 little ones at home already and going to be trying to bf I'm not sure how long I want to stay at the hospital.  The hospital we are staying at is VERY BF friendly and they have LC's that come to your rooms everyday.  With that said, they come every day but Sunday, so we will have our c/s on Thursday and I will probally ask to be discharged on Sunday morning.   Usually I would go home on Sat but I think I'll ask to go home on Sunday this time.  Guess we'll see how we are coming along with breastfeeding.  

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