I lost my baby boy a year ago. He was 27 weeks. I walked in my doctor office for a routine check up and he could not find a heart bit. I am even having a hard time typing this right now as the memory is so painful.
Today I am 15 weeks pregnant and although I am trhilled about having another chance, I just feel so scared at times. I don't know if it is in my head but I feel like my stomach has changed today and I am somehow worried. My husband told me it's in my head and it's normal to feel like that sometimes...I am just worried that anything can happen again at anytime... especially today...
Prayers help me...I hope everything will be ok this time...
Re: First anniversary...mixed feelings
TTC since 11/2009; Lap/HSG/Hysteroscopy: 5/2011 (endometriosis - removed; endocervical polyp - removed; high pressure in bilateral tubes - cleared)
BFP #1: 8/4/11; DS1 born sleeping on 11/16/11 at 19w1d
BFP # 2: 5/7/12, EDD 1/10/13, DS2 born 1/4/13
BFP # 3: 11/8/13, EDD 7/17/14, mmc 10wks
BFP # 4: 5/16/14, EDD 1/15/15, praying for our 2nd rainbow baby
I am so sorry for your loss. We lost our daughter 6 months ago at 31 weeks, and I'm afraid the further along I get in this pregnancy, the stronger my fear will be. I hope that doesn't happen and I will try hard to take it day by day, but we have no answer for why our Patricia's heart stopped beating so I know I'll never feel safe. I think your husband is right as it is normal given our experiences, but I try not to let the fear ruin my day with this baby.
Do you have a doppler at home or can you stop by your doctor's office to listen? It's the first thing I did on Patricia's 6 month birthday and it helped me get through the day. Big hugs and thoughts of peace for you today!
Thank you all for your kind thoughts...
I have been thinking about getting a doppler but I am afraid it may get me more worried and obsessed...was that easier for you?