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mcarter127
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Helping a preschooler cope w death
mcarter127
member
On Monday morning we had our little boy Eli at just shy of 23 wks. He was too sick to survive passed away a little over an hour after being born.
DS1 was extremely excited about being a big brother had been very involved in planning for the new baby in an effort to help him with the transition. We'd been doing social stories his therapists had been working with him a lot on getting used to the idea of a new baby.
Now he is completely devastated I am struggling to help him handle this loss. At the hospital they told us to just be honest with him on a developmentally appropriate level not to hide our emotions from him.
At this point we have an "at risk for asd" dx because of his age. He seems to understand a lot more than we anticipated but doesn't really get that this is permanent. He's constantly screaming pleading with me to go get the baby back. He heard dh tell someone we "lost" the baby so now he's fixated on "finding" him. He'll just start crying hysterically I don't know how to help him get thru this.
I did call our ped to see if he could recommend some resources or kids books that would help. The jerk told me to just "Google it" myself!!!! Google is the last thing i need when Im grieving the loss of my child!
Sorry this got so long, just reaching out to see if anyone has any suggestions. Thank you.
DS1 was extremely excited about being a big brother had been very involved in planning for the new baby in an effort to help him with the transition. We'd been doing social stories his therapists had been working with him a lot on getting used to the idea of a new baby.
Now he is completely devastated I am struggling to help him handle this loss. At the hospital they told us to just be honest with him on a developmentally appropriate level not to hide our emotions from him.
At this point we have an "at risk for asd" dx because of his age. He seems to understand a lot more than we anticipated but doesn't really get that this is permanent. He's constantly screaming pleading with me to go get the baby back. He heard dh tell someone we "lost" the baby so now he's fixated on "finding" him. He'll just start crying hysterically I don't know how to help him get thru this.
I did call our ped to see if he could recommend some resources or kids books that would help. The jerk told me to just "Google it" myself!!!! Google is the last thing i need when Im grieving the loss of my child!
Sorry this got so long, just reaching out to see if anyone has any suggestions. Thank you.
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Re: Helping a preschooler cope w death
You might call your local hospice agency. Ours had some people trained in grief for children, who might be able to provide some good resources. Also, if your children's hospital has a palliative care unit, a counselor there might have ideas.
I am so sorry about little Eli. Sending a prayer for healing for your family.
Also hoping you can find a pedi who is not a douche.
DS 09/2008
Just checking in on you, MCarter. How is it going today?
Been thinking of you!