Not excited about baby - What is wrong with me?!?!

cjbelk · October 2012

Hi Ladies,

Our BFP was a surprise and I was nervous & scared! I am 40, DH will be 48 next week, and DS is 5. I started to get excited but now I feel so melancholy about the whole thing. We have our first u/s on Thursday and I am hoping that will get me excited again.

What is wrong with me? Am I the only one?

blush64 · October 2012

I'm too scared to be excited right now but I think you are perfectly normal. Not every woman is excited through the whole pregnancy and some women aren't excited at all. My sister loves kids, loves her kids and never felt excited at all with her last pregnancy. I was much more excited for her. When the baby arrived the excitement came for her. She was happy, glad to be pregnant but not excited.

Lilika Flower · October 2012

I can relate. Whenever my mom or husband tells anyone that I'm pregnant I feel so awkward. The comment is usually met with excitement from the person and loads of questions and all I can do is respond "Yeah. I guess." I got excited when I told my best friend but beyond that I'm pretty meh.

Don't feel bad. It won't help anything besides make you feel worse. For me I figure I will get more excited when I have my 1st appt and start showing. Until then it doesn't seem real-besides the cramping, frequent urination, and keeping track of my prenatals, I mean.

OS2013 · October 2012

I'm also pretty blah about the whole thing. I mean we were trying to get pregnant but I thought it would take awhile (only 3 cycles) and that I would have more time to be slightly irresponsible selfish me.

We haven't told anyone yet one, only those who need to know (boot camp trainer, chiropractor, etc), and when they say congrats I just stare like yeah whoopie do!

Im hoping that as the constant feeling of nausea wanes that I'll feel more excited. And I'm thinking once I really start showing and we tell our parents who will be over the moon that I'll start feeling more like YAH!

BicycleBride10 · October 2012

I think you just need to give it some time and be kind to yourself. It sounds like this is a big surprise for both of you and it's a lot to take in. Even though we were trying, it still didn't feel real or exciting until just the past week or so (I'm 13 weeks) for me. I really think just some time and talking to your H will make you feel much better. But also don't be afraid to talk to your OB about your feelings as well.

eyris · October 2012

OS2013:
I'm also pretty blah about the whole thing. I mean we were trying to get pregnant but I thought it would take awhile (only 3 cycles) and that I would have more time to be slightly irresponsible selfish me.

We got pregnant on the first month of trying. I don't want to be ungrateful about that and I'm glad it wasn't a long, hard road like many people deal with, but I kind of have the same sentiment as you.

I realized when we had our friends over this weekend and I was sipping water while everyone else was doing shots that this is going to be a long 9 months!

I was excited but I guess because I don't feel much different yet it doesn't seem real to me. I

alilovesmatt08 · October 2012

I don't think anything is wrong with you. I felt kind of the same way about this pregnancy, and we were trying! I am having trouble getting that same excitment that I had with my son and don't feel the same attachment. I have had two ultrasounds already and it helped some, but I still don't feel super excited like the first time around. I think part of it is that I am busy with a 2.5 year old, plus it isn't as new this time around. I know that with time the excitment will come! I had a friend that had a baby this past April and she said she felt the same way. As soon as her son was born everything fell into place. I feel guilty feeling the way I do, but we can't help our feelings and emotions! I'm sure it will get better

jrjl450 · October 2012

i'm with you. i think i'm more pissed because i worked so hard to get my weight down for our wedding (almost 2 months ago) only to have to gain MORE weight than i was.

my hubby is giddy to the point where i'm ready to punch him in the face because it's getting annoying. i'm also not excited because i really need to buy clothes but i don't know where to start; everything looks so maternity, but i'm not there yet.

it's frustrating and all i want to do is eat

Chocodoxies · October 2012

I don't think anything is "wrong" with you. This is a huge life change. Your looking at bringing a new child into the world, and being responsible for that child. On top of that, this is changing the dynamic of your family. Your son is no longer an only child, you and your husband are now going to be financially responsible for one more child, and that could mean reassessing the layout of your home and how you will care for the new baby (do you quit your job/hire a nanny/use daycare/work from home/etc.). Many women are super excited from the moment they find out they are having a child, but that doesn't mean there is something wrong with you that your experiencing some anxiety over this.

pinottoparenthood · October 2012

jrjl450:
i'm with you. i think i'm more pissed because i worked so hard to get my weight down for our wedding (almost 2 months ago) only to have to gain MORE weight than i was.
my hubby is giddy to the point where i'm ready to punch him in the face because it's getting annoying. i'm also not excited because i really need to buy clothes but i don't know where to start; everything looks so maternity, but i'm not there yet.
it's frustrating and all i want to do is eat

I know how you feel! I am super excited about my pregnancy, but I'm also super disgusted at how much weight I'm going to gain. (And I've already gained 6 lbs... I'm only 13 weeks!!!) Try a belly band... I bought one from Target, and it has helped me a lot. I still wear my regular pants unbuttoned, use a hair tie to close the button, and wear the belly band on top. It makes things a lot comfier and keeps you covered.

beckalyce · October 2012

I know exactly what you mean...

We were TTA until after our wedding in December, but our BC failed...

I always wanted kids. That's all I ever wanted out of life, honestly. I was told I might have trouble getting pregnant due to issues, so this was a miracle...

But now I can't stop having anxiety attacks about how I'll look at my wedding, how I can't wear what I wanted to wear, etc. I'm always so mopey about the whole thing...

I feel like a terrible mother already. Selfish! (I actually just got done with another crying fit over this an hour ago) I wouldn't give this up for anything, the timing just sucks!

Justsittingwithcoffee · October 2012

Im scared sh!tless to be honest.

HZ2012 · October 2012

Not sure if anyone saw it, but this topic was just on the Ricki Lake show last week. There was a licensed therapist on the show who said these feelings are completely normal. But if you feel like it's the real deal depression, you should speak with your Dr.

Nanda1010 · October 2012

You literally just made me laugh out loud! My husband is sooooo excited happy lovely dovey and all that nonsense and all I can do is scoff. I guess I would be happy too if it wasnt me who had the morning sickness all day and was stuffing my face every hour, and constantly uncomfortable. Ive been told ill be more comfortable after the first trimester but I not getting my hopes up. For now Im just trying to survive.

AshleyEric609 · October 2012

I'm feeling the same way. I'm trying so hard to be excited but I feel pretty eh about it all. I'm not a fan of being pregnant and I think that's definitely not helping anything.

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