Did you let lo cry it out?

saralu82 · October 2012

Ds is a little over 9 months and still does not sleep through the night. After loosing our first son to SIDS we decided to use a cosleeper with ds. He did really well with sleeping right next to us in the cosleeper but never sttn; even after he stopped breastfeeding at 6 months. Now that we detached the cosleeper and lowered the mattress now at the foot of our bed he rarely makes it more than 2 hours a night. He wakes up for a 3am 6oz bottle and won't got back to sleep in his own bed. He does not put himself to sleep and always wakes up when I put him down. His naps during the day are inconsistant and if i want him to sleep longer I have to lay down with him. I don't get anything done during the day! Our ped doc told us we have to let him cry but our nerves and hearts can't handle it but something needs to change! I want him in our room just not in our bed anymore. I'm thinking of buying the no cry sleep solution book. Any help/ advise would be appeciated. TIA

aglenn · October 2012

So very sorry for your loss. That is heartbreaking.

Honestly, I bedshare with DS (and DD before him) for similar reasons, so I'm not sure I have a solution for you. My first thought, though, is that maybe he is outgrowing the cosleeper? The one I have (Arms Reach) is pretty tiny and the mattress is not very comfortable. DS is a big baby and he never could get comfortable in there. Do you have room to sidecar a crib on your bed? I would do that if I could; our bedroom is too small.

saralu82 · October 2012

aglenn:
So very sorry for your loss.nbsp; That is heartbreaking.
Honestly, I bedshare with DS and DD before him for similar reasons, so I'm not sure I have a solution for you.nbsp; My first thought, though, is that maybe he is outgrowing the cosleeper?nbsp; The one I have Arms Reach is pretty tiny and the mattress is not very comfortable.nbsp; DS is a big baby and he never could get comfortable in there.nbsp; Do you have room to sidecar a crib on your bed?nbsp; I would do that if I could; ournbsp;bedroom is too small.

We have the full size arms reach so he still fits when the mattress is lowered. We don't have room for to side car. I honestly love sleeping and holding ds but I just want him to able to fall asleep on his own.

aglenn · October 2012

Have you read the No Cry Sleep Solution? It has a lot of good tips.

Are you able to sneak away once he's asleep? If so, at least for naps I'd try putting a mattress or making a pallet on the floor (in a baby-proofed room, of course) and nursing him to sleep, then getting up.

JessieJH · October 2012

I'm not sure about your pedi's advice. We bedshared for a long time and just felt comfortable moving LO to her crib recently. We actually tried it at 4 months, but she wasn't ready. When we moved her to her crib recently we did a modified CIO- but we went in more frequently and I stayed with her much longer to soothe her. How it worked out for us is that I pretty much pet her until she is completely soothed and then she falls asleep. Over time she has started to fall asleep much more quickly and she is able to get herself back to sleep on her own. when she wakes and starts to cry I will see if she quickly goes back to sleep (often she just cries for 30seconds or so (it seems like forever). If it goes longer then I get her and feed her and put her back to bed or if she is needing soothing I take her back to my bed (teething/sick, etc).

If you and baby are more comfortable co-sleeping I don't see why you wouldn't do that. I would not feel that you have to CIO though if you don't feel good about it. Some babies are just not naturals at that. Mine certainly wasn't.

beth2882 · October 2012

I agree with PP that your pedi's advice may not be spot on. Did you tell your pedi you are anti-CIO? We tried it one night and HATED it...I ended up crying and DH didn't like it either. The next day we had our 6 month check up and we told the pedi we would not do CIO and she worked with us to come up with some other ideas that fit our style better. Like PP said, do a modified version.

ncbelle · October 2012

There are a ton of things to try between nothing and CIO (and no, I don't use CIO). First, realizing that it is normal for a 9 month old to still have nightwakings. I do think the No Cry Sleep Solution is worth a read - her suggestions can help you work towards longer sleep stretches.

pixieprincss · October 2012

We have not done CIO. We cosleep and so letting baby scream doesn't help anyone sleep, plus it just isn't a fit for our philosophies on parenting nor our goal for DS to have a life-long happy, healthy relationship with sleep. Statistically, night-waking peaks at 9 months. So, your baby is still doing the normal baby thing. (Yay for being normal, boo for it being tiring.) Many families love the book The No Cry Sleep Solution. For us, our best strategy was just riding it out. DS1 woke every two hours from 7 months to 12 months, but once he was primarily on solids at 13-14 months he gradually lengthened his sleep.

Temp123197812503460 · October 2012

We did at 13 months after there was still 2-4 wakings per night to eat with no sign of improvement.It went well and i have no regrets for having done it, but also no regrets for waiting until that point and responding to night wakings before then. It was what felt right for our family. I think trusting yourself is the best advice on sleep issues.

seells · October 2012

When we moved DD to her own bedroom she started sleeping a lot better. We did CIO but not until she was closer to 18 months. She knew how to self soothe by then. If we went into her bedroom to try and calm her down she would just scream louder and longer. It was hard in the beginning but after a week or two DD was sleeping 12 hours a night no problem and 2-3 hour naps.

Echowysp · October 2012

If you're not interested in CIO, you shouldn't do it.

To answer your question, yes, I did. It didn't work with my son, who didn't STTN regularly until after 3. We had to do everything from cosleep, nurse to sleep, sleep on his floor, etc.

With my dd, we did it successfully around the age of your LO. She was waking too many times, more than needed and started fighting bedtime and naps. I wasn't expecting it to work since it didn't with my son, but it worked quickly. She started going to sleep easily and napped again. Nighttime wakings reduced too. She went from needing me to go back to sleep, to self-soothing and going back on her own. I was shocked since I hated CIO and only used it after months of not sleeping.

Then teething hit and she's never slept well since. She's 2 and wakes 3 times a night. I can't do CIO again, which I suspect would work well again, because she can get out of her bed and open the door now. Sigh. So, back to cosleeping, nursing and hating nighttimes again.

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