Let's discuss the NJ CS past 18?

dmndsr4eva · October 2012

Since I am in the process of putting together a parenting plan I asked my atty about CS past 18 and he pretty much shot it down. Saying that after 18 it really should be a decesion between the child and the parents directly rather than court ordered. He did say that any CS over 18 is typically something that wealthy people would agree on. So I did not pursue the issue even though a lot of people on the bump talk about it. Apparently the courts in my state do not really support this yet.

My question for people in states that are starting to require support past 18 is how do they determine the amount and who it is paid to? There isn't a custodial parent anymore since most likely the kids lives on his own? The whole thing just really doesn't make sense to me?

BTW my FI agreed in his divorce settlement to pay for in state college for his kids. In state isn't very much as we have a state scholarship that covers most of the cost for all kids who can maintain a 2.5 gpa. However he hasn't had to pay anything yet because his oldest got a full paid scholarship. My FI made this agreement right before his business tanked. He also offered his exwife a HUGE settlement amount to get her to give up her stake in his business. Now that the economy and his business have tanked I would hope if he could go back in time he would have been less generous.

txgsd81 · October 2012

NJ considers children from nonintact families to be "underprivileged" and therefore put rules in place that can require CS, med ins, and tuition payments long after children turn 18. The laws are VERY vague and separate hearings are needed to settle on these terms, and to terminate CS when eligible.

The NCP will be required to pay at least CS and med ins until the state deems the child emancipated. This usually occurs once the child has finished all higher education and is able to support themselves, with a max age of 26.

The tuition expenses are tricky. They are set on a case by case basis, and both the CP and NCP will be required to pay. The court looks at finances of both parties, the child's academic performance, and the ability of the child to succeed in college. They also look at several less tangible aspects such as the relationship between the NCP and child, how willing the child is to accept advice and guidance from the NCP, if the NCP has been consulted on issues during the child's upbringing, etc.

The court can then have the CP contribute to tuition, and the NCP contribute to tuition in addition to continuing to pay CS and med ins. However, the CS figure is generally decreased.

My opinion on it all? It's vague and it's BS. I worked my butt off to pay for my own schooling, and my family was intact. I can see how the law would benefit some children, but I feel that it is unfair to force a parent to pay for college. Remember, BOTH parents will be required to contribute. The state claims that since these children are underprivileged, that they have less opportunity to attend college.

I could go on, and on about this, but the fact is that NJ has some of the most difficult CS laws in the country.

Ilumine · October 2012

Honestly, I loath the concept of child support after 18. But I also loath the fact that children are tied to their parents for FASA until they are over 21.

18 is the legal age to do almost anything in the country but drink. And up until the last 30 years, 18 yos were living on their own, building homes, tilling the fields, voting, having children - you know being grown ups.

It wasnt until the late 60s, and the advent of Dr Spock have we started to dumb down our proginy. And to be honest, if these kids are as dumb and not-ready to be in the big wide world, then we as parents need to be able to have the FULL legal rights to them.

You want me to be forced to pay for him after 18, then also have the right to give him curfews, no allow him to have a car (which if he were living under my roof someone can come at ME for any accidents HE has -even under his own insurance) etc

Now, I would not throw my child out at 18. Nor would I ever expect DH to do the same with SS. HOWEVER, that money that is provided to him will have strings attached, not be some gift to him or his mother.

He wants to be a grown up - then be a grown up all of the way.

dmndsr4eva · October 2012

So does the CP continue to recieve the money or is it paid directly to the kid? Yeah that doesn't make any sense if the kids lives in the dorms or on their own. That's just crazy.

txgsd81 · October 2012

Actually, I do want to elaborate on my feelings on this....

I got through college via scholarships, student loans, and working. After graduation I went on the jobhunt and secured a FT job with medical benefits within 6 months. I continued to live at home, but bought my own car, paid for my own expenses and contributed towards my parent's household expenses. My family was intact.

To continue CS and force tuition contribution, in my opinion, does nothing but make children codependent on their parents for far longer than necessary. While I understand the state's intentions, I feel it is a hindrance to the child and doesn't encourage motivation and selfsuffiency.

At 18 a child is going to want independence. If the parents are still footing the bill are they going to have legal control over the child as well, as if he was still a minor? No, of course not.

Even if I was a CP it would leave a very bad taste in my mouth knowing that the state is forcing me to pay tuition. Of course I would be contributing regardless if I was able, but I'd want that to be my choice. CS should be just that... support for a child. While 18 year olds still have lots if growing up to do, that is the time for them to stop being a child and learn to get on in the real world.

CFjo2010 · October 2012

Ilumine:

Honestly, I loath the concept of child support after 18. But I also loath the fact that children are tied to their parents for FASA until they are over 21.

18 is the legal age to do almost anything in the country but drink. And up until the last 30 years, 18 yos were living on their own, building homes, tilling the fields, voting, having children - you know being grown ups.

^^ This. As far as FAFSA goes, my parents stopped claiming me and my sisters on their taxes as soon as we turned 18 and we had to start doing our own tax returns. This allowed us to apply for financial aide when needed, and didn't leave my parents stuck footing the bill forever. Plus, my sisters went and obtained student loans to cover additional schooling. After I stopped playing volleyball and my scholarship was gone, I got Financial Aid to help pay for school and got student loans when needed. I think it's completely unfair to expect parents (intact families or blended) to be legally obligated to finance their child's college education. Yes, my parents were well-off, but there's no way they could have afforded to pay 3 separate University bills plus graduate school for the 3 of us.

I'm not saying that children should be thrown out into the world blindfolded the day they turn 18, but I think kids are being sheltered far too much for far too long now. As parents, isn't it our jobs to be teaching these kids early on the importance of working hard and providing for themselves?

txgsd81 · October 2012

dmndsr4eva:
So does the CP continue to recieve the money or is it paid directly to the kid?nbsp; Yeah that doesn't make any sense if the kids lives in the dorms or on their own.nbsp; That's just crazy.

From what we're being told, the CP will still continue to receive the CS. The argument is that the CP is still housing the child during breaks from school, summers, etc. Generally, the CS is a reduced amount, and I believe there are instances where that money can be placed directly into an account for the child, but again... It is all case by case specific.

dmndsr4eva · October 2012

jobalchak:
Ilumine:

Honestly, I loath the concept of child support after 18. But I also loath the fact that children are tied to their parents for FASA until they are over 21.

18 is the legal age to do almost anything in the country but drink. And up until the last 30 years, 18 yos were living on their own, building homes, tilling the fields, voting, having children - you know being grown ups.

^^ This. As far as FAFSA goes, my parents stopped claiming me and my sisters on their taxes as soon as we turned 18 and we had to start doing our own tax returns. This allowed us to apply for financial aide when needed, and didn't leave my parents stuck footing the bill forever. Plus, my sisters went and obtained student loans to cover additional schooling. After I stopped playing volleyball and my scholarship was gone, I got Financial Aid to help pay for school and got student loans when needed. I think it's completely unfair to expect parents (intact families or blended) to be legally obligated to finance their child's college education. Yes, my parents were well-off, but there's no way they could have afforded to pay 3 separate University bills plus graduate school for the 3 of us.

I'm not saying that children should be thrown out into the world blindfolded the day they turn 18, but I think kids are being sheltered far too much for far too long now. As parents, isn't it our jobs to be teaching these kids early on the importance of working hard and providing for themselves?

I'm not sure the exact rules but it is my understanding that you are required to put your parents on the FAFSA until certain circumstances are met? Maybe I am mistaken but there is a parental obligation piece to the FAFSA. Unless FI's exwife is trying to pull something. I recall her planning to continue to add their daughter on her taxes because it was required on FAFSA or it wouldn't make a difference on her FAFSA because of ex's income amount.

HeidiO22 · October 2012

jobalchak:
Ilumine:

Honestly, I loath the concept of child support after 18. But I also loath the fact that children are tied to their parents for FASA until they are over 21.

18 is the legal age to do almost anything in the country but drink. And up until the last 30 years, 18 yos were living on their own, building homes, tilling the fields, voting, having children - you know being grown ups.

^^ This. As far as FAFSA goes, my parents stopped claiming me and my sisters on their taxes as soon as we turned 18 and we had to start doing our own tax returns. This allowed us to apply for financial aide when needed, and didn't leave my parents stuck footing the bill forever. Plus, my sisters went and obtained student loans to cover additional schooling. After I stopped playing volleyball and my scholarship was gone, I got Financial Aid to help pay for school and got student loans when needed. I think it's completely unfair to expect parents (intact families or blended) to be legally obligated to finance their child's college education. Yes, my parents were well-off, but there's no way they could have afforded to pay 3 separate University bills plus graduate school for the 3 of us.

I'm not saying that children should be thrown out into the world blindfolded the day they turn 18, but I think kids are being sheltered far too much for far too long now. As parents, isn't it our jobs to be teaching these kids early on the importance of working hard and providing for themselves?

The bolded part is no longer true. If your child isn't declared homeless, emancipated or a victim of abuse, parents are required to provide financial support for college tuition. Does not matter if child is living away from home, working and supporting themselves. While my daughter was prepared to take on college expenses, she was unable to do so alone. Lesson learned, if my younger children do not earn full scholarships, they will be declared homeless (only kidding).

CFjo2010 · October 2012

HeidiO22:
jobalchak:
Ilumine:

Honestly, I loath the concept of child support after 18. But I also loath the fact that children are tied to their parents for FASA until they are over 21.

18 is the legal age to do almost anything in the country but drink. And up until the last 30 years, 18 yos were living on their own, building homes, tilling the fields, voting, having children - you know being grown ups.

^^ This. As far as FAFSA goes, my parents stopped claiming me and my sisters on their taxes as soon as we turned 18 and we had to start doing our own tax returns. This allowed us to apply for financial aide when needed, and didn't leave my parents stuck footing the bill forever. Plus, my sisters went and obtained student loans to cover additional schooling. After I stopped playing volleyball and my scholarship was gone, I got Financial Aid to help pay for school and got student loans when needed. I think it's completely unfair to expect parents (intact families or blended) to be legally obligated to finance their child's college education. Yes, my parents were well-off, but there's no way they could have afforded to pay 3 separate University bills plus graduate school for the 3 of us.

I'm not saying that children should be thrown out into the world blindfolded the day they turn 18, but I think kids are being sheltered far too much for far too long now. As parents, isn't it our jobs to be teaching these kids early on the importance of working hard and providing for themselves?

The bolded part is no longer true. If your child isn't declared homeless, emancipated or a victim of abuse, parents are required to provide financial support for college tuition. Does not matter if child is living away from home, working and supporting themselves. While my daughter was prepared to take on college expenses, she was unable to do so alone. Lesson learned, if my younger children do not earn full scholarships, they will be declared homeless (only kidding).

Seriously?! I can't believe they changed that. Wow, it's been a long time since I was in college. I feel really old now.

Um, the kids are going to be declared homeless (may or may not be kidding) or else they need to take out student loans. There's no way we can afford 4 University tuitions. Not happening.

dmndsr4eva · October 2012

HeidiO22:
jobalchak:
Ilumine:

Honestly, I loath the concept of child support after 18. But I also loath the fact that children are tied to their parents for FASA until they are over 21.

18 is the legal age to do almost anything in the country but drink. And up until the last 30 years, 18 yos were living on their own, building homes, tilling the fields, voting, having children - you know being grown ups.

^^ This. As far as FAFSA goes, my parents stopped claiming me and my sisters on their taxes as soon as we turned 18 and we had to start doing our own tax returns. This allowed us to apply for financial aide when needed, and didn't leave my parents stuck footing the bill forever. Plus, my sisters went and obtained student loans to cover additional schooling. After I stopped playing volleyball and my scholarship was gone, I got Financial Aid to help pay for school and got student loans when needed. I think it's completely unfair to expect parents (intact families or blended) to be legally obligated to finance their child's college education. Yes, my parents were well-off, but there's no way they could have afforded to pay 3 separate University bills plus graduate school for the 3 of us.

I'm not saying that children should be thrown out into the world blindfolded the day they turn 18, but I think kids are being sheltered far too much for far too long now. As parents, isn't it our jobs to be teaching these kids early on the importance of working hard and providing for themselves?

The bolded part is no longer true. If your child isn't declared homeless, emancipated or a victim of abuse, parents are required to provide financial support for college tuition. Does not matter if child is living away from home, working and supporting themselves. While my daughter was prepared to take on college expenses, she was unable to do so alone. Lesson learned, if my younger children do not earn full scholarships, they will be declared homeless (only kidding).

That's what I thought.

Littlejen22 · October 2012

A the least I would want CS until the child graduates high school or the time at which they should graduate in the case that they fail or drop out.

jacksmom119 · October 2012

Lurker! I come from a blended family in NJ but am married now. My dad paid child support through college until a few months past graduation for both my brother and I. He was also required to pay 70 of tuition and I took a loan out for 15 and my mom paid 15. My mom gave me 3 weeks/month of my CS for money during college. She kept one week. This allowed me to not have to work outside of work study and participate in clubs and sports. I graduated and got a job right away.

I was very fortunate that my dad was able to afford this but it was also required by the divorce agreement which had been made in the early 90's...leaving now!

simplaw215 · October 2012

dmndsr4eva:
HeidiO22:
jobalchak:
Ilumine:

Honestly, I loath the concept of child support after 18.  But I also loath the fact that children are tied to their parents for FASA until they are over 21.

18 is the legal age to do almost anything in the country but drink.  And up until the last 30 years, 18 yos were living on their own, building homes, tilling the fields, voting, having children - you know being grown ups.

^^  This.  As far as FAFSA goes, my parents stopped claiming me and my sisters on their taxes as soon as we turned 18 and we had to start doing our own tax returns.  This allowed us to apply for financial aide when needed, and didn't leave my parents stuck footing the bill forever.  Plus, my sisters went and obtained student loans to cover additional schooling.  After I stopped playing volleyball and my scholarship was gone, I got Financial Aid to help pay for school and got student loans when needed.  I think it's completely unfair to expect parents (intact families or blended) to be legally obligated to finance their child's college education.  Yes, my parents were well-off, but there's no way they could have afforded to pay 3 separate University bills plus graduate school for the 3 of us.

I'm not saying that children should be thrown out into the world blindfolded the day they turn 18, but I think kids are being sheltered far too much for far too long now.  As parents, isn't it our jobs to be teaching these kids early on the importance of working hard and providing for themselves?

The bolded part is no longer true. If your child isn't declared homeless, emancipated or a victim of abuse, parents are required to provide financial support for college tuition. Does not matter if child is living away from home, working and supporting themselves. While my daughter was prepared to take on college expenses, she was unable to do so alone. Lesson learned, if my younger children do not earn full scholarships, they will be declared homeless (only kidding).

That's what I thought. 

This actually isnt true either. The parents aren't actually required to contribute but the FAFSA form calculates the family contribution based in part on their income. The student can get loans to cover the family's expected contribution without the parent actually paying.

HisChamaoleGirl · October 2012

dmndsr4eva:

My question for people in states that are starting to require support past 18 is how do they determine the amount and who it is paid to? There isn't a custodial parent anymore since most likely the kids lives on his own? The whole thing just really doesn't make sense to me?

SS is to turn 18 in January of his senior year while he graduates in May. The CO says that DH will pay CS to BM up until SS 18th birthday or his graduation whichever comes last. So if SS skips a grade and graduates high school at 17 DH will still be required to pay CS until he turns 18.

Bigmama00 · October 2012

I never had an "intact" family and my parents didn't pay for anything. I ate crackers for dinner and took out student loans until I finished my nursing plan and got a job. Its one thing to give your kids a hand here and there when needed but to be forced to give them money once they are an adult is just crazy.

Bigmama00 · October 2012

HeidiO22:
jobalchak:
Ilumine:

Honestly, I loath the concept of child support after 18. But I also loath the fact that children are tied to their parents for FASA until they are over 21.

18 is the legal age to do almost anything in the country but drink. And up until the last 30 years, 18 yos were living on their own, building homes, tilling the fields, voting, having children - you know being grown ups.

^^ This. As far as FAFSA goes, my parents stopped claiming me and my sisters on their taxes as soon as we turned 18 and we had to start doing our own tax returns. This allowed us to apply for financial aide when needed, and didn't leave my parents stuck footing the bill forever. Plus, my sisters went and obtained student loans to cover additional schooling. After I stopped playing volleyball and my scholarship was gone, I got Financial Aid to help pay for school and got student loans when needed. I think it's completely unfair to expect parents (intact families or blended) to be legally obligated to finance their child's college education. Yes, my parents were well-off, but there's no way they could have afforded to pay 3 separate University bills plus graduate school for the 3 of us.

I'm not saying that children should be thrown out into the world blindfolded the day they turn 18, but I think kids are being sheltered far too much for far too long now. As parents, isn't it our jobs to be teaching these kids early on the importance of working hard and providing for themselves?

The bolded part is no longer true. If your child isn't declared homeless, emancipated or a victim of abuse, parents are required to provide financial support for college tuition. Does not matter if child is living away from home, working and supporting themselves. While my daughter was prepared to take on college expenses, she was unable to do so alone. Lesson learned, if my younger children do not earn full scholarships, they will be declared homeless (only kidding).

If the college student is under 24 years old, makes more than 10,000 a year and has a child then the parents information does not get put into fafsa. Thats the only instance im aware of.

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