Not quite the mom I want to be....

rachellaura86 · October 2012

I am probably just being hormonal and hard on myself........ but sometimes I just wish I had more energy for my 15 month old. I am having a really hard time. Not only has this pregnancy been more difficult for me, but I also work from home part time. And I'm only 15 weeks pregnant! I feel like there is sooooooo much time left and I don't know how I'm going to make it!

I run a busy Etsy shop and create artwork from home (as well as tutor some evenings), so my work-from-home schedule is very flexible. It has been difficult doing this with my daughter at home, but I felt I was managing okay, until I got pregnant. I can barely get my work done, I am exhausted all of the time and I feel like I'm not giving my daughter nearly enough attention.

I see all of these other moms who have time and energy to do tons of fun stuff with their children, and that is just not me right now... and it makes me feel terrible. I am getting as much help from family as possible and my husband is pretty helpful...... it just doesnt seem to be enough. We are looking into part time daycare, though we can barely afford it. I cant really take less work either, as once again, money is tight. I am just fatigued and drained in every which way possible. And havent had much time for myself either......... ugh.......... thanks for listening!

vanessaNOV2 · October 2012

Ive been there where i felt too tired to play with my kids during pregnancy felt bad. But they are soo young, they wont remember these couple months of limited interaction time from mommy. Dont stress out from it, do what you can and it will have to be enough for now :

kcisthebombdotcom · October 2012

Look at this as a positive instead of a negative. At 15 months, your child has limited social needs. At that age they also don't need a lot to be entertained. In a few years from now it's going to be a totally different ball game so appreciate you're hitting this point while you have a young toddler who doesn't care vs an older child who needs more entertainment/socialization.

With that being said, you may want to force yourself to get out of the house to go somewhere every day even if it's just a 20 minute walk around target. I notice that getting moving in the morning made me feel better for the rest of the day and made the aches and pains lessened.

charleydawg · October 2012

I can totally sympathize. I worked from home half days with my first. At 12 months, I had to change my schedule and put him in an in-home daycare just because I felt the same as you. I wanted him to have fun. Not watch me type on the computer and be hushed when I was on the phone!

Now that I have him (almost 4 years old) and a 13 month old, I feel even worse. I'm 15 weeks as well, and luckily, stay at home, but I feel like I can't even do my stay at home mom job well. Dinners are nothing great, dishes get done late at night, laundry and toys pile up. I wonder how it will all be when #3 arrives....

The good thing is my 4 year old is in preschool four days a week. I still use our in-home day care provider occasionally for the 13 month old, and hope to have some money in the budget to put him there one morning a week once the baby arrives. My son's preschool also offers a mother's morning out for 12-18 month olds.

Try checking out local churches and in-home providers to see if you can find a day or two of coverage. It will be good for your child and will free you up to knock out some work or take a nap!

Another thing that has worked well for us is having drop off playdates with another child. Although I haven't done this yet with my 13 month old, my 4 year old loves it. His friend comes over for 2-3 hours one morning and then we switch another day of the week and my son goes over to their house. It gives me time to run errands with only one kid or take a nap while my little one does. Even when the playdate is at our house, the two older ones entertain each other well, so I get a break, too!

And, honestly, don't beat yourself up about other moms. Just because they got a shower and look put together doesn't mean they are doing Pinterest activities with their children 24/7, serving nutritious meals and have a perfectly clean house!

MammaBear81 · October 2012

Honestly working without childcare would be enough to drain me, forget being pregnant! As your toddler is getting older he/she is needing to be more active, and getting into more things. I know you said money is tight, but I think PT daycare would be great for you. You can focus on your work exclusively for that time, and you'll be amazed what you can get done (you might even have time for a quick nap). Your energy will return, but your toddler isn't going to slow down any, you're not a bad mom for needing childcare when you work, everyone does!

jf198400 · October 2012

Don't be so hard on yourself, you are still in the 1st tri, of course you're exhausted! It will get easier as you start to get more of your energy back. I think you absolutely should do part-time DC. Not only will you be way more productive when your child is out of the house, but it will be great socialization for her. I agree with the pp who suggested getting out of the house everyday. This time of year the weather is so nice, it will definitely help you feel more awake and alert. Another idea if you need some extra help- have you thought about hiring a young teen as a mother's helper to come over after school. You wouldn't have to pay very much, but it would give your DD someone to play with while you do work or take a nap.

beeunit · October 2012

I felt like that at the beginning of this pregnancy too. I remember Aaron running circles around me, while I would lay on the ground and try not to fall asleep while "playing" with him. I felt awful. It gets better, and hopefully your energy will bounce back soon!

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