Feeling like a BAD MOM

joi717 · October 2012

So I was going to post this on the BF board, but didn't think it would go over well....

I went back to work almost 3 weeks ago. I am a teacher, and there is not time to pump and not feel stressed about my classroom of 28 5th graders..at least for me anyway, so I started to scale back my pump sessions and introduce formula. I did this with DD, same time frame and she is fabulous at 5. DS is 2 months old and we went to dr. last week with concerns about his dry skin. They said stop using J&J. Ok, so today we had 2 month appt and diff. dr. was concerened that it was a milk protein allergy. Now, the skin issues began a little before we started the formula, but have advanced. We are treating with hydrocortisone and going back in 2 weeks. If not better then, we will have to switch formulas.

I feel like if I would have just stuck to BF and pumping he wouldn't be having so many issues. I feel terrible. I think I can build my supply back up , as it hasn't been that long since I dropped the before school pump.

Or should I just keep doing what we have been doing ? So confused. And his stools today after shots were greenish blow outs..so shots or bc o f milk allergy?!?!

JennaNAaron · October 2012

No advice on bf vs ff. I will say LO is FF and her poop is green most of the time. It's from iron.

joi717 · October 2012

thanks! i knew his stool would change from the formula..but I guess I am on milk protein allergy overload.

lovebug33 · October 2012

I teach fifth grade too and that is the reason I didn't bf. It is too hard to pump with my schedule at work. Your LO is fine and it's not because of formula, I am sure. Good luck!

ThePinkSuperhero · October 2012

From what I hear, formula poop is greener than breastmilk poop because formula has iron in it.

spider17 · October 2012

You need to do what's best for you and your LO. I have been exclusively pumping for 7 weeks now and he'll be 9 weeks on Friday. I pump every 2 to 3 hours when I'm not working and supplement with formula when I need too! When I work I pump every 4 hours but have gone longer, as long as 7 without pumping. You can start pumping and build back up your supply and once it's established you can train your body to become accustom to going longer in between pumps. In the end you need to do what will make you feel happy and not worry about being a bad mom for ff! BF babies encounter digestive issues as well. Don't beat yourself up about it! Good luck!!

twoitalians · October 2012

For some reason I feel there could be a milk protein allergy even if LO was BF too. Don't beat yourself up about BF or FF. I made the switch to formula a few weeks ago and a huge weight came off my shoulders regarding the pumping situation. I have a high stress job where I barely get a chance to use the bathroom let alone pump. Just make the best choice for you and your LO.

jessalynn521 · October 2012

I would assume that unless you had cut out portions of your diet that the milk protien allergy would have presented itself with your bm as well. Either way whatever you choose good luck!

DavidStamps · October 2012

Don't beat yourself up, you are not a bad mom. You are doing what you have to do so you and your family will succeed. Your LO will have minor issues from time to time, and we will all go through that...but stay the course and know that you are doing the best job you can do and no one should tell you differently!

joi717 · October 2012

Thanks for the positive feedback everyone! It's funny how you would never fault another mom forher choices, but the mom herself can second guess and beat herelf up over it! craziness. Feeling calm enough now to head to bed. Thanks so much. Tomorrow is a new day and we will go one day at a time

catapult32 · October 2012

I agree with your first doc. It seems that people are so quick to jump to a milk allergy when a true milk allergy is actually pretty rare.

Many people in my family are allergic to J&J products (so much so that I got sample bottles of the stuff and bigger bottles of the off brand just in case DD had a reaction to J&J, fortunately she does not), but one common symptom that they all share is dry, kinda rashy looking skin.

Personally I'm all for breastfeeding babies and think that you should do what you can to give your baby at least some breastmilk if you can, if not only that. Of course use formula if you want/need to, nobody wants a hungry baby.

aadewitt · October 2012

I gave up BF in the hospital. so at least you made it as long as you did! DS had some bad colic/gas issues we thought it was the formula so we switched to soy, still had some issues so we switched back. I was feeling like a bad mom just cus I didn't give BF a good enough try.

ladyjenna13 · October 2012

Can you pump after feedings when you are home before and after work?

I would not be concerned about the formula one bit. We half and half with BF and formula, and that does not make my wife a bad mother. At the end of the day, sometimes our boy just does not stay awake to feed well on the breast, so we supplement with formula.

Yes, BF does have very real advantages, but our children need to eat, and from a practical perspective, we need to do what we need to do for our children and our family.

Pumping while at home might take some of that guilt away from you, and you will feel better knowing he is getting BM and all the oz's. he needs to keep growing good. Our doctor was the one who suggested the half and half cocktails for him, and it takes care of his health and my wife' mindset as well.

liyahc9 · October 2012

I would not worry about it too much!! I was unable to BF and only used formula and now we are on Nutramigen because my LO cannot break down the proteins. This would have heppened even if I did breastfeed, or even when I would have stopped breastfeeding when I went back to work. He would have had this issues when I changed him to formula then as well.

Nothing you can do about it, just do what is right for your LO and stand by it!!!

Giga

kderham · October 2012

If your baby has a milk allergy, it is not necessarily the result of the formula. If you have any dairy, that is also in your breastmilk. You are not a bad mom! You are 1) feeding your son so that he is gaining weight the way he needs to be healthy 2) you are taking him to the doctor and following all recommendations 3) supporting your family by working. What more can you do?

Mommy guilt is something that everyone has from time to time (I battle it daily) but no one is perfect. And there are people who are very fortunate to be able to breastfeed 6 children at once, make homemade organic babyfood and stay at home to take care of their children full time but those people are few and far between. You are doing everything you should. I wouldn't worry about the stools - they can be a whole rainbow of colors! Keep it up Momma!

joi717 · October 2012

thanks! so thankful for the support system of moms going through the same things. I am trying to take teh pressure off myself, slowly but surely. It's great to have a place to be reaffirmed.

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