Shift work?

bearfootz · October 2012

I currently work a FT salaried position 8-5, M-F. DH is working 7-4, and with his commute we end up home around the same time. He is thinking of applying for a new position with a good company that would be closer to home and potentially more money - but he'd likely be on 2nd shift for a few years.

Obviously, it's up in the air if he'd even be offered the position. But my concerns are what it will mean for the family dynamic to have us on different schedules and have him gone each evening. If it could potentially cut out most of the daycare - that would be a major savings for us and would give him more time with the kids during the day. But once the kids are in school - he's really not going to see them unless he gets up early in the morning. I guess as long as he still has the weekends, which we usually spend as a family, there would still be time there and unlike 3rd shift his sleep schedule shouldn't be too far off.

Just looking for pros/cons from anyone out there that works 2nd shift or has a spouse that does. Thanks.

jf198400 · October 2012

We're not in that situation, but my DH does work long hours/long commute, so he's not home until about 8pm most nights. I find it stressful being on my own with the kids during the dinner rush. You come home, everyone is hungry and cranky, you're trying to get dinner ready, take care of the kids, etc. Most of the time he's home to help with bath and bedtime, but when he's not I find it really tough getting them to bed myself. My 2yr old comes in and out slamming the door while I'm trying to nurse the baby and put him to sleep. Another thing to think about when the kids are older is how you'll manage their schedules of activities in the evenings.

I think it would have to depend on how much more money, and money you'll save on childcare, of whether it will be worth it for you.

bearfootz · October 2012

I appreciate all of the responses. I would definatly need weekends with DH. Right now we focus on family for the weekend and I'd like to keep it that way. Gymnastics with the kids on Sat., date night for us at least once a month Sat. night, and Sunday church/breakfast. The bedtime routine during the week is what scares me. And right now I have evening commitments that I would probably have give up if he's not there.

ccm1203 · October 2012

DH has had to work B shift for a couple weeks recently. While it has been manageable it has sucked for me. When DH works regular hours, he is responsible for getting dinner on the table, I do the dishes. Now I have to get dinner on the table and do dishes and put both kids to bed (normally we each put one to bed). The only responsibility has in regards to the family is to get the kids on the bus.

cedenton · October 2012

Mos3:
My DH has been working 2p-10 for the entire time we've been together (8 total, 5 married). I hate it. It wasn't as bad pre-kids, but I am not a fan. It's actually great for our "family", but has brutal on our marriage. We are never home at the same time. DH also works a rotating shift, meaning he works 4 days on, 2 days off and its never the same days each week and ends up being the majority of weekends. We do save a ton on daycare, and it's nice that DH gets to spend a lot of time with the boys in the morning, but it's hard on me at night to do bed time alone, especially since they go to bed around the same time. Weekends are tough, planning family things are tough, holidays suck (he's a cop so he works them). Sorry, I highjacked your post! It has it's positives, but in our situation, it hasn't been all that great and I'm trying to get him to switch to days.

This is pretty much our exact situation. DH is a cop, too. Right now It's not so bad because the shifts change every 28 days. I haven't gone back to work, yet (Monday) but I'm not too excited about evening shift (2nd shift) when it comes around. Even without kids I disliked it the most. You can't do ANYTHING together on 2nd shift except on his days off and those rotate like this poster said, only 5 days on/2off then 5 days on, 3 off.

I don't know if it's worse or better, but the dept is going to 12 hour shifts next month (7-7) and want to rotate every 2 weeks. Not looking forward to that. DH might end up going to detective bureau instead (not that I think that will be much better).

To recap: Not a fan of the effect of 2nd shift on marriage. Even 3rd shift is better IMHO. I imagine having kids, it's going to suck even more.

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