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Single Parents
MrsRebz2Be
member
PA moms.. filing for custody need advice
MrsRebz2Be
member
Looking for any advice on filing for custody of my 2 kids. I would like sole legal and physical custody of them and I believe I have a strong enough to case to get both as their dad is such a low-life and has absolutely nothing going for him in his life. I want to be responsible for all their decision making and living arrangements but I also want their dad to be able to see them (when I say it's okay). I guess I'm just looking for some advice before I take the leap and look for an attorney to guide me through this. Thanks!
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Re: PA moms.. filing for custody need advice
I'm a PA mom.
Were you and their dad married? If not then you automatically have sole custody in PA. Easy peasy. You will only need to fight in court if he files to have rights.
If you were you automatically get 50/50 and minimum visitation is every other weekend and 2 weeks non consecutive in the summer.
You will need an lawyer for custody
You do not need a lawyer for CS. You go to Domestic Relations and file for support. It's free and you dont' need a lawyer to do it. Also visitation/custody issues are SEPARATE you can't discuss custody in CS court and you can't discuss CS in Custody court. 2 different judges and everything.
The way PA sees it you have 100% of custody since the children were born out of wedlock EVEN if he signs an affidavit of Paternity/DNA test and even if he's assigned CS payments.
He doesn't get rights until he carrrys his happy butt to court and a judge grants them to him. Also with out a court order telling you he has any rights at all to the children you can do what ever you want. You can decide when, where and if he sees the children and you can move where ever, when ever you want. Until a judge says differently you are the sole gaurdian of the children.
I'm not a laywer just a long history w/ PA and CS/Custody.
Also I don't really advise not getting a Court Order but you can get by on the technicallity if you think he doesn't have the resources or the follow through to take you to court.
I've been doing it since 2002. I don't have a CO for custody. But my ex is a loser and hasn't had contact with the children for 5-6 years now. I've moved several times. and so has he. I technically have no Idea where he is. IF you look at my ticker, I'm about to hand him documents to sign so my H can adopt the children. Only because he actually is requesting to lower CS payments ( you know the ones he only pays b/c he wage garnished and I only get if he has a job)
Your only sticky wicket is getting the children passports if you wanted to travel outside the country ever. Or if you children want to go on a student exchange program or some other international travel for students. I'm kinda starting down the barrel at that b/c My oldest is 16 and my youngest is 13 and my oldest is in a language program at school and my youngest is in Boy Scouts and would like to go to the world jamboree in Japan in a couple years. So I kinda need a signature for that. And if my H adopts then no problems...if I need my ex's signature we might have problems.
Hmmmmm....I was not married to my ex when our daughter was born and no, PA did not automatically give me 100% Physical and Legal Custody. HOWEVER, if there is NO order in place at all, then whichever parent the child(ren) is with is perfectly legal according to the Law. In other words, let's say your ex comes over to take the kids to lunch or something...He never returns them. He tells you they are staying with him until custody gets sorted out in the Courts. There is not a cop, lawyer or judge in the state that can make him hand those children back to you if there is no order in place clearly stating one or the other has custody and when.
As such, I went to court to request sole legal and physical custody. I did do in order to prevent him from later causing trouble down the line and to prevent a scenario like the one I just described. Unfortunately, it happens so often that the primary caretaker (who usually is Mom) believes s/he has rights they technically don't have b/c they never filed paperwork.
I have primary physical custody with joint legal as per the court order,
On another note, each county in which you file tends to be "harder on" or more lenient on the dad. I purposely chose a county to file in -- Delaware -- which is known for being ball busting on the Dad's. Just FYI. If I move clear across the state to Erie, my custody and support issues can and will be handled by Delaware County courts.
Another thing, if YOU go ahead and file as a pre-emptive consideration, two things will occur: 1) You will be able to be the one who says, "Nope. they stay with me until the court issues a judgement". That way, you have peace of mind and you are totally within your legal rights to do so (I did the same) 2) You will forever and always be listed as Plaintiff and he as Defendant. That may not be a big deal to some people -- and in the grand scheme of things, it's not -- but dammit. Don't let him (no matter how lazy or dumb they are, it's amazing what they will motivate themselves for out of spite) get to be Plaintiff and have HIS name on top of all legal docs moving forwards. Forget that!
It is true that support and custody are two different things altogether, but do not assume because you are not married to your child's dad that you automatically get 100% of both types of custody. No.
Finally, depending upon the county in PA, you may or may not file "pro se" (representing yourself). Also, you will have to file a separate motion if you wish to have the court waive costs with each filing (again, two separate filings for support and custody).
I never knew anything other than single parenthood until I met and married my husband all within a year (DH happens to be a Family Law attorney here in PA, so I know not only from personal experience navigating the court system as a single mom, but from being married to a guy who brings his work home). If I don't say so myself, NOBODY has the strength a single mother has -- NO. ONE.
Best of luck to you!