Toddlers: 24 Months+
Erinmmo
member
not wanting to use spoons or forks
Erinmmo
member
I have been one of those ultra anal moms at meal time- mostly feeding my 23 month old daughter with the spoon and fork then wiping off her face so she doesnt get all messy.
She will feed herself finger food and P&J sand, etc but when it comes to anything with a utensil she prefers me to feed her. And when I dont she cries.
I am not helping her by doing this am I? Or do you think eventually she will just want to do it herself again- bc she use to like to eat baby pudding/smoothies and other foods at one point with a spoon.
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Re: not wanting to use spoons or forks
I wouldn't worry about it, I don't think it's worth the battle. Eventually they all start to feed themselves right? If for no other reason that they go to school and mommy isn't around
If it still works for you to feed her and it's what she wants then I would leave it alone.
There are plenty of other things that can encourage fine motor skills, coloring, playing with dough, etc.
If it makes you feel any better my over 3 yr old boy uses his hands to eat just abotu everything, including soup. At daycare, he uses utensils & if I sit there & force him to at home (by either holding one of his hands & putting the utensil in the other or pulling the plate away every time he reaches for the food w/out a utensil) he uses them just fine as well so I know it is not a matter of not knowing how but more of laziness (or perhaps he can just get a lot more faster w/ his hand which is kind of true). It's on my list of pick your battles things...at this point I do a lot of reminders "use your spoon/fork please" to prod him and maybe I will eventually get on it more but I have bigger fish to fry w/ him right now.
However I will say that if you're actually feeding her & wiping her face between bites you probably are feeding into it and I would just stop feeding her, let her use the fork/spoon or her hands or whatever and start feeding herself again.And don't make a big deal about messes on their face or hands, who cares, really in the grand scheme of things? I have a drawer filled w/ old burp clothes that we use for face wiping after meals & around 2 I had them start going to the sink to 'wash up' after meals (using a stool). I have always had 2 kids though so I could never have been that on top of cleaning a kid up while they're eating... GL!
Assuming she is hitting all other fine motor milestones, I would not be concerned.
Otherwise I'd keep doing what you're doing and wait until she's ready.
happy to report she used a fork today! it was with her favorite thing- chic filet nuggets but ya know what I dont care- she did it!!!!
thanks for all the words of encouragement
This - my first reaction is that it's a skill she needs, but as this poster mentions, if she is hitting other fine motor milestones, then it's fine. In fact, I recently read that in India, it is common to someone to feed the child until they are about 4 years old... And obviously afterwards they learn how to use utensils!