Gotten into a very complicated situation. Anyone else?
FionaC5
member
I have been living in Africa for the last year and have been dating a guy from here. About a month and half ago I decided that I was ready to move back home, even though leaving him would be really hard. Then, the symptoms started and eventually a missed period. We're pregnant!
I am scheduled to move back home in 3 weeks, now with baby on board...and the boyfriend left behind. Before we even found out I was pregnant we had planned to stay together and do the long distance till we figure out what our next move would be. Now it just is 100x more complicated, since he will be missing all the pre-baby stuff. We are hoping he can come out for 3 months towards the end of the pregnancy, so he will be there for the birth and be able to spend the first month or so, all together.
However once he goes back home I know it isn't fair to keep his child away from him but I really can't see myself spending the rest of my life in Africa, so far away from my family, friends, and to be honest the life that I want for my child. It just feels like I would be making him give up all those same things by having him move to the U.S.
We are just at a lose for what to do and how to compromise in this sticky situation. Anyone been in a similar situation, or have any advice?
Re: Gotten into a very complicated situation. Anyone else?
I don't know much about Africa, but I know living there is very different depending on what part of the country you are in. Moving home for a while does sound like a good idea, to me. If he hasn't seen America, he can't make a decision as to where he would like to live. Then the two of you can sit down and really consider costs of living, standards of living, income, available opportunities, etc. and make a decision for what is best for your family (the three of you).
Very tough and unique situation - but it doesn't sound like you'll quite be a single mom! Talk with him about your desire to be home, and see how he feels about it. But again, he needs to see where you live before he can make an honest and educated decision.
Best of luck, mommy!
Thanks so much for the advice! I agree, I don't expect him to just drop his life here, and move to American without ever even being there! I know we will continue to talk it over through the next months, and hope his visit to the states will perhaps clarify some things.
Thanks again, it is just helpful to hear another's opinion, and see things in a way you haven't before.