New Working Mom - Advice?

JuliaSaidYes · September 2012

Hi there Working Moms! I'm new to the board, I'm Jules and I'm a marketing director for a children's hospital. Our first son is 10 weeks and I go back to work tomorrow. I have spent the last week doing a lot of crying, which I think is to be expected. Part of me wishes I could be a SAHM, but part of me knows I'm the kind of person who is career-driven and who needs adult stimulation. Regardless, due to DH's law school loans, SAHM is not in the cards right now.

Any words of wisdom or tricks of the trade for a new working mom? Both tips for getting through the first week emotionally, and tips for efficiency, getting it all done, balance, schedule, maximizing time spent with LO etc. are appreciated.

I look forward to getting to know you ladies, and having some working mommy allies!

mrskelly731 · September 2012

It is hard at first. Make sure you have everything prepped and ready to go the night before to make the morning easier. I have been back to work almost a year and I still have days where I wish I wasn't there but then the next day is busy and I forget all about it. I know DD loves going to daycare. Drop off can be hard sometimes when she doesn't want me to go..but honestly once I leave she is just fine. The best part is when I go pick her up and how excited she is to see me. Good luck and I hope the transition goes well for you and LO

ChicagoWeded2007 · September 2012

Hi!

You'll do fine. My advice is not to over think it, just do it! And buy extra bottles and pumP parts.

cindybaf · September 2012

It's my first day back tomorrow too, my DD2 is also 10 weeks old. I'm not really cut out to stay at home but my job is so stressful that it will be hard to adjust to that kind of workday. I was really excited to go back to work with DD1, looked forward to dressing up, not having to be with a crying baby all day, interacting with adults again, etc.

Just like I do now, I have a caregiver that I trust, and that makes going back to work much easier. I will miss them, but knowing they are safe helps. I'm taking a pump to keep at work, and have a pump at home for my morning/late night pump sessions. I have no idea how that is going to work, since alocating the time to pump isn't possible. So I will just need to steal away and pump as fast as I can.

After a while you get used to your morning routine, and your evening routine, and you will see what works best for you. I try to blow out my hair one night and then I don't have to wash it in the mornings for a few days(I have a TON of thick hair so I kind of have to do this, otherwise there is no way I will be able to dry it in the morning). I have my 'fat' clothes and comfy shoes ready to go, no need to show up to work in my regular clothes if they are going to be annoyingly tight. I will also take a picture of DD2 to help me pump.

I have the advantage of being able to come home and feed DD at lunch, hopefully this will work out. She'll have some bottles of thawed breast milk to help her get through the day. I will wake up early to get everything done, but know that there will be hiccups and I'll get through them! I'm working for more than just a paycheck, I'm working for our retirement, our kids education, our savings, and having a nice life. I have to remind myself about that!!! Good luck, you will do fine!

JuliaSaidYes · September 2012

These are all amazing suggestions, thank you so much. And thanks so much for the support and "been there, done that, it sucks but you'll make it" comments. You'll never know how much this internet stranger appreciates it.

CT, I stole your outfit stack idea and have it all ready for the week. And I'm working on finding a good cleaning lady. My clothes are laid out, and Cindy I'm taking my shower tonight. Chicago, I have 4 extra sets of pump parts for my Medela so hopefully that is plenty. I'm sure something will go crazy tomorrow, but having these things handled gives me a false sense of being in control of something even when things seem so out of control right now. I know going back to work is not the end of the world, but for the moment it feels like it. But I know it's the right thing for our family and future.

Anyways thanks again and feel free to keep the ideas and suggestions coming. Danielle, I'll be thinking about you tomorrow too. It's a tough day for both of us. But somehow we'll make it!

iverske9 · September 2012

I did a trial run the day before I went back just to see how much time I would need to do everything. Also do not put a ton of extra stress trying to be perfect. Once I get through the door after work it is just about my little guy till be goes to bed (at 7pm) and that is when I clean up and get ready for tomorrow. Bring pics with you :-) Good luck

Amaryllis619 · September 2012

I agree with everything ppl have said: prep everything you can the night before & have it all laid out and ready. (for both you and baby) I also tried to have all laundry/folding/cleaning done on the weekend, so we had everything set for the week ahead. Sometimes I even would cook a few dinners, and freeze them so I wouldn't have to worry about it during the week.

I second bringing pictures with you. I had a hard transition back to work myself, and would cry the whole way there after I dropped her off. It did eventually get better, and now she really enjoys her daycare and all the fun activities they get to do. I always remind myself that this is what's best for my family, and not to let anyone make me feel badly about our choices (especially myself). I always have a few pictures set up to remind me what a cutie pie she is. the best part of my day is going to pick her up from daycare, and see how excited she is to see me & show me what fun activity (or drawing) she got to do while she was there.

Not going to lie, the first week, i called them to make sure she was doing okay. i think i took it harder than she did. don't beat yourself up and just know that LO is learning wonderful life skills & is being well taken care of while you are doing what's best for your family. the time i spend away from her really makes me cherish every second i get to spend with her otherwise... i think it balances out my life in a good way, and makes me a happier and more patient mama.

GL! it's a hard time, but it does get better! promise!!!

July18Bride · October 2012

Everyone has so many great suggestions here that are super helpful!

A couple I would add...

-When you get home, try to not jump right into chores/tasks...try to take some time just you and LO playing together or being silly together. And make this a prority on the weekends too! I made this mistake, I would walk through the door and just start motoring around and realized I was not making any fun time for mommy/baby together time! I've since changed my ways on this one.

-Call the day care as much as you want, the first few weeks I called a few times a day. I just wanted to know what he was doing and how he was doing. This helped me get through the day.

-Stay busy at work, it's hard to focus but the more you get into your work the faster the day will go.

Good luck...with time it will get easier, I promise!

maddie789 · October 2012

I'm sure I'm repeating stuff here, but here are the first things that come to mind:

If you're using daycare, that first day will be hard. I was almost irrational the first day. It gets better, I promise!

Meal planning is a huge help to me, and I try and get as much stuff done for dinner the night before as I can.

Don't expect to find your groove right away. We have adjusted our routine so many times, and it always changes as your LO gets older.

Good luck!

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