Help me out...PPD....breastfeeding/formula????

Ardmhs83 · September 2012

Let me start by saying...I DO NOT WANT TO OFFEND ANYBODY! I ALSO DO NOT WANT TO START A BREASTFEEDING/FORMULA DEBATE. Every momma does her own thing...whatever is best for momma and baby. I get it.

With that being said I am a HUGE advocate for breastfeeding. Even attend our local LLL meetings and all. I breastfed my son for 9 months and only quit then when I was put on 3 different meds for PPD/PPA. It was REALLY bad!! Thoughts of suicide bad. Welll, I am still on my meds and don't plan to get preggo for another 2 years...my son is 2 now. I am being overwhelmed with baby fever right now...everyone around me is either pregnant or having a baby.

Anyway, all 3 of my meds are considered class 3. First off...I'm fearful of possibly being pregnant on meds, but secondly I'm fearful of not being able to breastfeed my second baby. IT WOULD TOTALLY CRUSH ME and I, presonally, would feel like I failed my son/daughter, especially since I nursed my 1st for so long. I also think my mental health would be worse off if I didn't nurse. It is sooooooo important to me.

I know 2 years is a long time and a lot could happen. I'm pretty much weaned off one of my meds, but my other two I haven't even tried to wean and my shrink and therapist said not to right now. Donar milk is out of the question..can't afford it and plus I SO BADLY WANT to nurse my child myself. I guess my question is...has anybody gone through this?????

Has anyone had to give up and turn to formula instead?? How did you get over the guilt?? Trust me...I know LOTS about breastfeeding...and all I ever read is the stuff that could happen if you don't breastfeed, like more likely to die from SIDS, etc...it really gears my anxiety up! I mean I know it isn't poison or anything...I was formula fed and I'm just fine...college degree, high school teacher...I'm good. However, just not what I personally want for my baby. How do I get over this?? Somebody help me out?

If I am only on one med at the time...I will nurse, but I'm just not comfortable nursing on 3 different meds, but I'm not comfortable with formula feeding either...this blows!

Sorry for the long rant....

KateLouise · September 2012

Hi there, I've never been in your situation but I just wanted to make a couple of comments that hopefully help.

I'm very into AP: bedsharing, BF, babywearing etc. A BIG part of the philosophy is doing what is right for your family, and finding balance for yourself.

Obviously you're a loving Mum who wants to give their baby the best start in life. Which means feeding them the best nutrition available to you. In that situation that would mean formula. yes BM has lots of valuable components, but formula would mean protecting your baby from some potentially harmful drugs.

In terms of SIDs there are a number of things you can do to reduce risk: sleeping near baby, smokefree home etc. But at the end of the day a lot of the stats are just numbers. All the stats say BF reduces chest infections, but my 15mth old EBF baby still ended up in hospital for a week with pneumonia, so numbers are just numbers.

You do the best you can as a parent with the resources available to you. You are a precious resource too, and you need to look after yourself and find balance. If that means medication then that means you are looking after yourself to give your kids a Mum who is emotionally healthy...and I personally believe that over the years an emotionally healthy parent is an invaluable gift to your children.

Also, have you considered placenta encapsulation for the future? I've never done it but it's meant to be very good to reduce PPD, and a number of women ont he natural birth board have done it or explored it as an option. Just something to consider alongside your meds.

Good luck to you.

Ardmhs83 · September 2012

Oh and I would have and may still post this on the PPD board...but it is so dang slow!

Ardmhs83 · September 2012

Yes...I am going to try the placenta encapsulation next time. Ty so much for your answer. I will know in my heart when the time comes, what is right. It will just be so hard for me to do formula when I am such a big breastfeeding advocate. However, I def want another LO...so we shall see. I will just cont to pray that I will be off my meds and ok by then. Dear Lord...this awfulness cannot happen twice! :

KateLouise · September 2012

Ardmhs83:
Yes...I am going to try the placenta encapsulation next time. Ty so much for your answer. I will know in my heart when the time comes, what is right. It will just be so hard for me to do formula when I am such a big breastfeeding advocate. However, I def want another LO...so we shall see. I will just cont to pray that I will be off my meds and ok by then. Dear Lord...this awfulness cannot happen twice! :

I absolutely understand. i would find it hard too, if for some reason I was unable to BF, and honestly I would miss the snuggliness as well. Luckily babies can be snuggled in all sorts of ways.

XCrissCrossX · September 2012

I couldn't breastfeed because LO refused to and I'm in a rinky dink little town with no help available nearby (the hospital's "lactation consultant" told me to give up.)

So I had to get over the guilt. I had no choice but to formula feed- my baby was over 10lbs and he wanted food! I agree with PP that numbers are just numbers. My formula fed baby has been sick all of 3x in his two years of life so I would say he's doing pretty well even without all of the immunities in BM. He hits all of his milestones "on time" or "early." His language is fantastic.

I think the stats that say BF babies are healthier and smarter, etc. are skewed. I think that almost all mothers who BF have to educate themselves about BFing because it's hard to BF and it's not something that most people can just do. Thus, I think that most of these mothers probably also educate themselves about interacting with infants, and infant safety, etc.

On the other hand, while I think that there is a group of well educated FFing mothers who have chosen formula because it's best for their family (me), I also think there is a large percentage of mothers who choose formula without any research because it is easy or because that's what their mom did- I don't think that these mothers take the time to or know to research things like keeping baby safe and healthy, or the best ways to interact with an infant.

Therefore, more FF infants are exposed to dangerous situations or their parents are in a position of not following medical recommendations because the mothers don't know any better. So more FF babies die of SIDS because more FF mothers disregard/ don't know advice to not put things in the crib or to not tummy sleep, etc.

You know better. Thus, I don't think you're dooming your child to any of the stats by feeding them formula, if it has to come down to that.

LSU628 · September 2012

Have you discussed this with your dr and therapist? Perhaps there are some medications that are safe to use while BFing? I totally agree with pp that in the long run an emotionally stable mother is way more important that how you choose to feed your baby. BFing didn't work out for me due to DD"s undiagnosed milk protein allergy (she wouldn't latch, threw up profusely, was screaming for hours on end) and I had severe guilt. But as my DH and the pedi kept telling me, it's more important for your baby to be healthy and happy than for their mother to beat themselves up with guilt. It sounds like you are a very committed and caring mother who will do what it takes to make sure your baby is thriving!

Ardmhs83 · September 2012

LSU628:
Have you discussed this with your dr and therapist? Perhaps there are some medications that are safe to use while BFing? I totally agree with pp that in the long run an emotionally stable mother is way more important that how you choose to feed your baby. BFing didn't work out for me due to DD"s undiagnosed milk protein allergy she wouldn't latch, threw up profusely, was screaming for hours on end and I had severe guilt. But as my DH and the pedi kept telling me, it's more important for your baby to be healthy and happy than for their mother to beat themselves up with guilt. It sounds like you are a very committed and caring mother who will do what it takes to make sure your baby is thriving!

I have and they both tell me not to cross this bridge until I get to it. I tend to be a worrier and very anxious...hints, my anxiety meds. I know a lot can happen in two year and I also know that it is more important to have a mentally happy and stable mommy than it is to breastfeed. I guess I am just fearing the formula already. I LOVED nursing and it is soooooo good for baby and momma. I guess I am kinda asking...how did those of yoy that wanted to breastfeed sooo bad ever get over the mommy guilt. It will especially hard b/c I nursed my son for 9 months and even pumped 3x a day at work and had a couple hundred ounces frozen in my freezer. Nursing is all I know. I will feel like a failure to my second child... :

Ardmhs83 · September 2012

Sorry...typing from my phone....

LSU628 · September 2012

Ardmhs83:
Sorry...typing from my phone....

I'm not going to lie, I cried. A lot. I just had to remind myself that I did everything in my power, but sometimes things just don't work the way we plan. I tend to be a control freak, so not being successful and not being able to make BFing work were very difficult for me. I probably had PPD but was just too tired and overwhelmed to ask my dr for help. There are so many other components that go into being a good mom besides being able to nurse.

Ardmhs83 · October 2012

LSU628:

Ardmhs83:
Sorry...typing from my phone....

I'm not going to lie, I cried. A lot. I just had to remind myself that I did everything in my power, but sometimes things just don't work the way we plan. I tend to be a control freak, so not being successful and not being able to make BFing work were very difficult for me. I probably had PPD but was just too tired and overwhelmed to ask my dr for help. There are so many other components that go into being a good mom besides being able to nurse.

I am sorry...I am sure it was very difficult for you. I know if this happens I will cry a lot too...I am worried it may make PPD happen again or make it worse. I am also a huge control freak as well! It sucks...I just can't let go. I know your right...if I HAVE to formula feed b/c of my meds and my health, it doesn't make me a bad mom by any means. I will try my hardest and if it doesn't work out then I will have to let it go. It will be so darn difficult, but I will have to balance out what is most important. That is a healthy, happy mom, DH and baby...

Thanks for your kind words...

Help me out...PPD....breastfeeding/formula????

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