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Feeling Guilty

sunshine3981sunshine3981 member
in Pregnant after a Loss
I am 9w1d and feeling sicker by the day.  So nauseated, dizzy, weak, have done nothing but sleep all weekend.  Yesterday I was able to get up for a couple of hours and accomplish some things, but today trying to make dinner ended with me lying on the bathroom floor.  The guilt is killing me, as crazy as it sounds, I feel like nature doesn't want me to have babies.  First a bunch of miscarriages and now so crazy sick, it's like I'm being taught a lesson for continuing to try despite being shown that it's not meant to be....  I know that is crazy, I just can't seem to stop thinking these kinds of things!  Then I feel guilty because I HATE being sick so much, not being able to just live my life like usual, yet I have spent the past 3 years trying desperately to have this happen, I can't believe I would even for one moment complain about it.  I guess I'm just wondering if anyone else has felt this way.  I don't know anyone in real life who has had such crazy pregnancy troubles and I'm feeling like such a freak.... 
TTC 10/2009 BFP #1: Missed m/c at 8.5 weeks 11/10 BFP #2: Missed m/c at 10.5 weeks 8/11 BFP #3: Missed m/c at 9 weeks 2/2012 BFP #4: 8/21/12, EDD 5/4/13. So far so good, fingers crossed, hoping and praying with all of our might for this little bean....
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Re: Feeling Guilty

  • RachaeleighRachaeleigh member
    Don't beat yourself up so much. You're not crazy for hating feeling so sick and it doesn't mean you're ungrateful. If you rested all weekend, its because you needed it. Hugs

    4 Losses (2003, 2008, Apr 2012, & Oct 2012)
    All RPL and IF testing with multiple REs = normal

    5 IUIs = BFN

    All AL are welcome
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

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  • GregermisGregermis member
    [[[[hugs]]]]
    TTC #1 Since 4/2010, Cycle 30
    Positive for HLA-B27, I'm a mutant :p
    Testing - Me ok, gluten issue? DH - borderline count, low motility
    4/28/11 IUI#1 = BFP!(5/25), EDD 2/2/12 - m/c 5w3d
    7/3, 7/31, 9/25 - IUI#2-4=BFN
    IVF#1 - 1 blast = BFP!! (12/30), EDD 9/9/12, confirmed c/p 4w2d
    FET#1 3/2/12 - 2 blasts =BFP!! EDD 11/18/12, us#1 = twins! Confirmed m/c 5w6d
    4/20-surprise BFP and another c/p 4w2d
    FET#2 7/16/12 - 2 blasts = BFN
    FET#3 8/20/12 - 1 blast - BFP!! Beta #1-2=177, 354
    1st u/s 5w6d, one beautiful little HB :), 2nd u/s 146bpm
    baby girl born 5/10/13

    TTC#2 since 12/17/2014, Cycle 8
    Repeat Testing...FSH=12, AMH=3.8, AFC=28. 
    IUI#5 5/10/15- c/p?
    IVF#2 8/19/15 - cancelled due to cysts
    IVF#2 take two 10/2015 - 5 blasts frozen
    FET#4 12/11/2015 - BFN - 4 blasts remaining
    FET#5 2/18/16 - BFP!!!  Beta1-3, 126, 250, 745!!

    Image and video hosting by TinyPicLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    Tons of love and ((hugs)) to my IF sister NMscubagirl


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  • TnG05TnG05
    I just wanted to give you a big ole HUG.  Our minds especially PGAL minds are great for messing with us.  The sickness gets better just give yourself some time and rest all you can.  No one likes being sick so don't beat yourself up for hating it.  
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  • mommy0411mommy0411 member

    I am so sorry for your losses and that you feel bad! I have been sick since my BFP and throwing up for about a month now. Being sick for so long sucks and makes it so hard to enjoy being pregnant. But just because you hate feeling bad, doesn't mean you don't love your baby! I felt terrible with my son and i hated it then and still do now. But he is perfect and I would obviously do it all again!

    Your little one is meant to be and being sick just means your body reacts to pregnancy hormones this way. In a month or two you will feel better and you will hardly remember the sickness! In 7 months you will be holding a baby and this will be a distant memory!

    Give yourself a break and if it gets too bad call your dr. There are medications you can take that can help you feel a little better!

    *hugs* and I hope you feel better! 

    Eta: sorry I was lurking because I had a chemical before my current pregnancy and can relate a little. I hope you don't mind I posted! :) 



    DS1: 4/15/2011
    Dx: ASD, SPD and receptive and expressive speech delay at 21 months
    BFP #2: CP 5/2012
    DS2: 4/24/2013
    BFP #4: Miscarriage at 5 weeks 7/2014
    BFP #5: 8/8/2014 Due 4/20/2015 
    Its a healthy girl!!!!! 
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
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  • sunshine3981sunshine3981 member
    Thank you so much for the support ladies, I really needed some tonight. 
    TTC 10/2009 BFP #1: Missed m/c at 8.5 weeks 11/10 BFP #2: Missed m/c at 10.5 weeks 8/11 BFP #3: Missed m/c at 9 weeks 2/2012 BFP #4: 8/21/12, EDD 5/4/13. So far so good, fingers crossed, hoping and praying with all of our might for this little bean....
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  • bumpuser2669861bumpuser2669861 member
    I felt the same way. And if it is that bad, call your doctor. I was reluctant bc I didn't want to take medicine and have my symptom go awayeven though I felt like death. But dehydration is no joke, so if your m/s is baad and you can't keep food/water down, go for the meds if they are offered. I am on Zofran now and its so nice to be able to function like a human again.
    As the PP said, don't beat yourself up! Hugs to you!
    BFP#1 10/30/2011,MC 12/4/2011 9w2d,BFP#2 3/6/2012,m/c 4/18/2012 9w1d D&E 4/18/2012 BFP#3 8/12/2012 EDD 4/25/2013 Stick baby!! Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers BabyFruit Ticker
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