I'm obese?? (a really long rant)
gradmommy13
member
Soo....I haven't weighed myself in like 4 months and I finally gathered the courage to do it today just so that I could monitor my weight throughout the pregnancy. I'm 184lbs at 5'3" and according to my BMI I'm "obese." Now, don't get me wrong, I know that I am overweight and need to lose weight, but am I really obese? I have some muscle from dancing in the past, but I'm not excessively muscular. The pic below is our first "pregnancy photo" that my husband took at around 5 weeks (even though I have a fat gut, this is supposed to be the "before" belly). I exercise regularly, eat healthy and I don't have any health problems.
My husband keeps telling me that I'm beautiful and that he loves me no matter how much weight I lose or gain, but I just can't let it go. To make things even better, both my mom and my sister are obsessed with weight. My sister has recently lost over 50 pounds and now she feels like she has the right to give me advice on how to live a healthier life. She literally doesn't eat anything (she just smells food and puts it back) and exercises excessively, which even if I had time, I don't think would be the right life style choice for me, especially now that I'm expecting. I told her that I was pregnant last week and she was really excited for me. Yesterday she sent me a text message that said "You're going to have to postpone the losing weight thing until after the baby is born. Everyone gains weight during pregnancy, even models." I know that she meant that as an encouragement of some sort, but is it really necessary to remind me of my weight problem? My mom is not any better. My husband and I were TTC for about a year before it finally happened and my mom knew that. In addition to giving us advice on how to get pregnant (my favorite one being "just relax" or "go on a vacation"), she sent me a newspaper clipping with an article on how to lose weight AFTER the baby is born. I wasn't even pregnant yet!!
Sometimes I really love my body, even with the extra cushion and curves and now I'm learning to accept it even more because I feel so special that I am able to carry and give life to a new human being. However, I feel like every single time that I start feeling comfortable about myself, someone (whether it's my family, coworkers or the media) reminds me that it's wrong to love your body unless you weigh 120 lbs. How can I learn to ignore all of the rumors around me and just listen to myself?
Sorry for the long rant, ladies. I'm just in a really crappy mood today and my husband is working a double shift today, so I'm home all alone 
Re: I'm obese?? (a really long rant)
I agree I dont think you look obese! And that BMI can be deceiving.
Also, you just have to learn to love yourself and your body regardless of what the scale says. Its a hard thing to do. Even when I was super super skinny, I still had things I hated about my body - so I've learned that no matter how much I weigh - to focus on the things I love about my body and not the things I hate.
I'm not going to focus on each lb for this pregnancy but to be healthy in what I'm eating and try to stay active...b/c if I focus on each lb...I'm sure I'll drive myself CRAAAZY!
And I know how lonely it can get when the hubs is gone - story of my day as well
8/15 - BFP
beta #1 - 178 beta #2 - 385 beta #3 - 934
u/s 9/13 - 1 little heartbeat
You look great! Cute dress btw. But BMI is a crock of bull. I'm 5 4 and when I hit 140 my doc told me I needed to drop a few pounds. I laughed in her face.simply because I was super skinny most of my life until I got married. Now that I have a little weight on me I like it.
I think that if you let others dictate how you feel about your body you will never truly be happy as long as you love it ignore everybody else. Point out their flaws to shut them up.
Oh and being pregnant doesn't mean you have to let yourself go. I plan to eat healthy and walk (once I get doc clearance) to make it easier for my body to go back to its pre-baby shape.
Thank you so much, ladies! All of you are so wonderful and I am so glad that I can count on your kind words of support to cheer me up even when I'm in the crappiest of moods.
I am trying to still stay active. I spotted after running once and my doc told me to take it easy. I am trying to just walk or ride my bike most days of the week. I think that knowing that there's a little bean inside of me that is completely and totally dependent on me makes it easier for me keep my diet healthy, too. Now I just have to try to keep my mind healthy!
Thanks again for your help!! I feel so lucky and blessed to have such a strong support system here!
I'm built almost exactly like you. I'm 5'1" and 4 months ago weighed 183. I was working really hard to lose the weight (goal was 148) and got down to 165 when I got the positive test. If I tell anyone I am 165 (still considered "obese") they are like "no way you don't look it" and I don't. In fact, doing the measuring tape, I fit within US Army body fat percentage rates for my age group (now at 165, not at 183). I'm at about 7 weeks and have not gained any weight, but I also have not been as careful as I should or able to exercise as much as I was.
But your sister is also right--right now you have to focus on growing the healthy baby and, yes, gaining weight, but trying to stay active and eating as well as you can.
Good luck and you're not alone.
You are NOT obese. BMI doesn't take muscle mass and bone mass into consideration! You are gorgeous!
I think you look great! I definitely wouldnt label you overweight.
I hate the BMI chart. It dosent make any sense when you actually start looking at people, themselves. I eat well and exercise, and I'm just going to be curvy, that's all there is to it. It dosent take into consideration body shape, which matters so much when it comes to weight.
You look great!
Those BMI things are stupid...
I'm technically "obese" too, and look very similar to you. I'm 5'2" and around 165 pounds. I think we have a similar build--very sturdy and naturally pretty muscular, right? We're never going to be 120 pounds unless we're dying of cancer or something!
If you feel healthy, and your doctor agrees that you're healthy, then everyone else needs to back off! Practice something you can say if people start concern trolling you about your weight. Like, "Thank you but I am at a healthy weight for me." or something like that.
BFP #2 9/5/2012 -- Born 5/20/2013 -- Welcome, rainbow baby!
BFP #1 1/24/12 -- No HB 2/16/12 -- Misoprostol 3/10/12
You are gorgeous!
TTC since May 2006. After 3 failed Clomid cycles, 2 failed Injectibles/IUIs, 2 failed IVFs and 1 failed FET, we moved on to adoption!
Last ditch FET resulted in BFP, and identical twin girls!
Thank you so much, ladies!!! I've never considered myself "gorgeous," so there was definitely a lot of blushing going on as I was reading your comments!
Thanks for your wonderful support! I feel a million times better. I'll make sure to tell my mom and my sister how it makes me feel when they keep bringing up the weight issue. They probably don't even realize how hurtful it is. And I'll definitely stop paying attention to the stupid BMI chart.
EDD 1/31/13, MC May 17. EDD 3/31/13, MC July 26. I miss you so much already my angel loves
Your beautiful. Please don't dwell on this right now. This is unnecessary stress on yourself. You don't look obese at all. You look curvy and beautiful!
BFP 9/4/12 EDD 5/9/13 missed m/c 10/10/12
BFP 2/26/13 EDD 11/1/13