Do you care what your husband's friends think?

Bigmama00 · September 2012

Are you one of those wives that care what your husband's friends think? Would you allow him to accept a friend request on your family facebook page from a high school friend that he slept with years ago because she is friends with your husbands friends and you dont want them thinking your trying to control your husband? What are your thoughts on this issue??[Poll]

Nechie122 · September 2012

I have a big problem with the word "allow" in reference to not only an adult but also my husband. You can express your displeasure but it's up to him to make the choice. I can't imagine a grown man with kids still needs to save face in front of his friends. Believe me, my DH has friends like this, but I couldn't have married him if I still thought he valued their opinion more highly than our relationship.

I honestly wouldn't care if my DH were friends with his high school ex, but we all have different comfort levels. For me, it's strip clubs that make me see red. So I get it. I too want to "forbid" all behavior I don't like. But ultimately all I can do is state my case and hopes he takes my concerns into account.

shannm · September 2012

I voted yes and also, I wouldn't have a family facebook page.

FemShep · September 2012

As PP said, I don't "allow" my husband to do things. He's an adult and I trust his judgement. If I have concerns, I express them respectfully, and he can make his decision. The thought of "allowing" someone who is supposed to be your equal partner in life to do things seems like a relationship that I wouldn't care to have.

(And I don't need to get DH's permission for things either.)

ridesbuttons · September 2012

FemShep:

As PP said, I don't "allow" my husband to do things. He's an adult and I trust his judgement. If I have concerns, I express them respectfully, and he can make his decision. The thought of "allowing" someone who is supposed to be your equal partner in life to do things seems like a relationship that I wouldn't care to have.

(And I don't need to get DH's permission for things either.)

This.

Also: facebook is stupid. (but people are stupid too and facebook apparently factors in to lots of marriages hitting the skids: https://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2011/mar/08/facebook-us-divorces)

Bigmama00 · September 2012

ridesbuttons:
FemShep:

As PP said, I don't "allow" my husband to do things. He's an adult and I trust his judgement. If I have concerns, I express them respectfully, and he can make his decision. The thought of "allowing" someone who is supposed to be your equal partner in life to do things seems like a relationship that I wouldn't care to have.

(And I don't need to get DH's permission for things either.)

This.

Also: facebook is stupid. (but people are stupid too and facebook apparently factors in to lots of marriages hitting the skids: https://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2011/mar/08/facebook-us-divorces)

Thats why I made this poll because I heard it on the radio and wanted to get peoples opinions on the issue. I thought I had posted the issue of facebook and divorce but it must have been on another thread

mben1119 · September 2012

I don't let my husband do anything. Im not his mother. And what is a family fb page? I have my own and dh has his own and each of us are friends with exes.

DelBride2012 · September 2012

shannm:
I voted yes and also, I wouldn't have a family facebook page.

Ditto this.

Also, I am FB friends with most of my old boyfriends.

Zimger · September 2012

I don't give a hoot what my DH's friends think about anything. Most of them make very poor choices.

On the topic of FB and the long ago "friend" I would discuss my feelings with him and work from there. As much as we would like to think we are always in control we are not. Hopefully he isn't still thinking that way about this individual.

mrskelly731 · September 2012

DelBride2012:
shannm:
I voted yes and also, I wouldn't have a family facebook page.
Ditto this.
Also, I am FB friends with most of my old boyfriends.

all of this.

KathrynMD · September 2012

My DH can friend whoever he wants on FB. Honestly, if he was going to have an affair w/ an ex, I'm not really sure friending/not friending that person on FB would be the determining factor.

CibottiBun · October 2012

I voted yes, he is friends with ex-gfs and I am friends with ex-bfs too. I really don't see the problem with it.

As to the article, it makes me wonder if facebook is just an out, and that these same people would flirt or cheat at bars, etc, if facebook wasn't around to be a platform for them. So then, the problem is the people and their relationships, not facebook.

CYBURRCHIC · October 2012

DH isn't into Facebook or keeping up with old GF. Maybe because we are older, FB isn't a big part of my life. I don't post what I am having for breakfast or pics of LO. I am a little paranoid with their security. I am in the minority here that I wouldn't like him to be friends on FB with an ex. I wouldn't dis-allow, we are adults. But what's the point? It just seems memory lane could be dangerous and hurt your partners feelings when there is no point.

EastCoastBride · October 2012

The situation is SOOOO over thought. His friends aren't going to pay nearly that level of attention to who his friends are/ aren't. Or think about the "why" behind who he isn't friends with.

happy_un-bride · October 2012

Don't you have ex's on your facebook? I do.

In all fairness, I wouldn't know if he slept with them or not... I let his past be his, and mine is mine.

jf198400 · October 2012

I'm confused by the "family facebook page." Just because you are married doesn't mean you give up your own identities. I don't think DH or I are fb friends with any of our Ex's, but it's not a big deal. And who cares what your husbands friends think? It sounds like you have some insecurity issues.

Sonadora · October 2012

WTF is a family FB page?

CrazyToast · October 2012

DH & I do NOT use FB.

ironmom5 · October 2012

Sonadora:
WTF is a family FB page?

Yeah... this.

wychets · October 2012

mabenner1:
I don't let my husband do anything. Im not his mother. And what is a family fb page? I have my own and dh has his own and each of us are friends with exes.

I couldn't of said this better.

Iblamethebeer · October 2012

Bigmama00:
Are you one of those wives that care what your husband's friends think? Would you allow him to accept a friend request on your family facebook page from a high school friend that he slept with years ago because she is friends with your husbands friends and you dont want them thinking your trying to control your husband? What are your thoughts on this issue??

I care what the majority of my husband's friends think because they are good guys with good judgment and I appreciate their perspective.

For example, if I were to throw a hissy fit about my husband accepting a friend request from someone he slept with before we started dating, and they thought I was overreacting and being a controlling witch, they would be correct, and it would be appropriate for me to take their advice and simmer down.

ohlordy · October 2012

DH and I agreed upon a "no friends with exes" policy when we got together. It really isnt as lame as it sounds seeing that I never had a desire to stay friends with exes and neither did he, so we just stuck with it.

Don't crap your pants, but he never had a facebook and I deleted mine almost 2 years ago ... yet we still socialize with people. Imagine that.

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