teachers WWYD?

megann831 · September 2012

I just read a post on facebook from one of my coworkers about how she teachers 48 kids and only had 10 parents at back to school night (which is actually very good for our school). She went on about how important parent involvement is especially in middle school and how she missed her own daughter's back to school night to be there. If your child and you have back to school night on the same night, which do you go to? DH's only real role seems to be to play with DD. I do all appointments, activities, ect, plus we have two kids, so even if he were to go I remember my parents would each see one child's teachers. I don't think this will be too much of a problem in elementary school when they have one teacher, I can just meet with them after school if I need. But what if you need to meet with all the teachers in a middle or high school. Do you skip your own child's back to school night and look like the neglectful parent, or attend your school's and judge all the parents that don't show. I really believe in putting my children and my family 1st, but I also think its very important as a teacher to be there for back to school night. If I was a parent and made the effort to go and a teacher wasn't there I'd be pissed.

mben1119 · September 2012

I know that it is part of many teachers' contracts to attend their own. Skipping to go to their kids isn't an option. In those situations, the other parent needs to attend.

EastCoastBride · September 2012

EllaHella:
DH needs to step up.

This, seriously.

honeybee72 · September 2012

megann831:
DH's only real role seems to be to play with DD.

I'm sorry for saying so, but I think this is your bigger problem. Being a dad means being involved. I'm sure he would not be the only "single" parent to have to manage back-to-school night for two children. He needs to step it up. You are more than within your rights to let him know it, too.

As for a conflict between your school and your childrens' school having their BTS night on the same night, I think you're right, you need to show up for your school and for the parents who make the effort to go. And that points back to my first statement.

mexicolombiana · September 2012

megann831:
I just read a post on facebook from one of my coworkers about how she teachers 48 kids and only had 10 parents at back to school night (which is actually very good for our school). She went on about how important parent involvement is especially in middle school and how she missed her own daughter's back to school night to be there. If your child and you have back to school night on the same night, which do you go to? DH's only real role seems to be to play with DD. I do all appointments, activities, ect, plus we have two kids, so even if he were to go I remember my parents would each see one child's teachers. I don't think this will be too much of a problem in elementary school when they have one teacher, I can just meet with them after school if I need. But what if you need to meet with all the teachers in a middle or high school. Do you skip your own child's back to school night and look like the neglectful parent, or attend your school's and judge all the parents that don't show. I really believe in putting my children and my family 1st, but I also think its very important as a teacher to be there for back to school night. If I was a parent and made the effort to go and a teacher wasn't there I'd be pissed.

"DH's only real role seems to be to play with DD."

SAY WHAT?????!!!!!

megann831 · September 2012

well he does put DD to bed, and sometimes does her bath, but yes, that's a whole nother issue

mexicolombiana · September 2012

megann831:
well he does put DD to bed, and sometimes does her bath, but yes, that's a whole nother issue

Hey I didn't mean to be rude. But for real? last I checked this was 2012. Back to your original Q. If I was a teacher I would stay at my school for the conferences and make my husband go to our child's parent/teacher conference thing.

honeybee72 · September 2012

megann831:
well he does put DD to bed, and sometimes does her bath, but yes, that's a whole nother issue

It is, but it does go to your original question. There wouldn't be a question as to how to handle this situation if you knew your DH was on board to go for both your kids when the time came.

Your second is young. Nip this bs in the bud now.

Christina_Diane · September 2012

I have to be at back to school nights by contract. However, I would probably send the teacher an email with all of my contact info and the best times to contact me.

GibsonGirl620 · September 2012

honeybee72:
megann831:
DH's only real role seems to be to play with DD.

I'm sorry for saying so, but I think this is your bigger problem. Being a dad means being involved. I'm sure he would not be the only "single" parent to have to manage back-to-school night for two children. He needs to step it up. You are more than within your rights to let him know it, too.

As for a conflict between your school and your childrens' school having their BTS night on the same night, I think you're right, you need to show up for your school and for the parents who make the effort to go. And that points back to my first statement.

All of this.

pitterpatter129 · September 2012

I'd call the teacher and let them know I am also a teacher and open house on the same night. I'd schedule to come in right after school or the day after and skip it. My principal would never let me skip it anyhow for a family thing! You need to meet your student's parents that night. In this case, it's one kid vs 20. As long as you make it up, I'd think it'd be fine. My DH would actually probably the one to attend in a case like this, but we'd go together anyhow if I were free that night.

MrsG2B83 · September 2012

I teach 1st grade and for 2 years in a row, I've had the 8th grade teacher's kids in my class. Obviously she's upstairs doing her parent night. Dad can't make it because he works 3rd shift. So we have an arrangement to meet after school one day to catch up. When my LO starts kindergarten next year, whether its at my school or our neighborhood school, I'll be doing the same. I could send DH but he'd come back with some useless information like "It was cool" and that's it.

megann831 · September 2012

MrsG2B83:
I could send DH but he'd come back with some useless information like "It was cool" and that's it.

lol, thank you, I'm glad I'm not the only one

erbear · September 2012

I've missed my daughter's BTSN every year because of my school obligations (twice because we were on beginning of the year retreats and once because we had our own BTSN). IMO, it's not an option...I complain about it (it's the same school...I think they could schedule better) but as a professional, no way am I skipping this...it's part of being a teacher..

Also, your DH is being an aszhole. He's a dad, not a babysitter.

CrazyToast · September 2012

As a woman whose husband actually does more than me when it comes to day to day parenting, I agree with the PP who said if your DH stepped it up, this wouldn't be an issue. It is 2012, your husband shouldn't be an occasional "babysitter" to your child. He should be able to attend BTSN while you are running yours.

Per contract, I cannot skip mine simply to attend my child's.

dragon_chica · September 2012

I have to be present for my BTSN, no question about it. This year mine and DD's were on the same night. Mine's was from 6-7 and hers began at 7. The preschool was about 20 min. in non-peak traffic. I asked her teacher if she felt it necessary for me to come because I would be late due to my BTSN. She assured me it's not a big deal for her. Last year my BTSN wasn't on the same night but I didn't feel like going for whatever reason so I had DH go. And I know I can do this because he is an active participant in this whole parenting gig. Because, you know, his sperm helped create these children and they weren't created to be his playthings. You need to have a serious talk with your DH about his role as a father.

AquaFlowers · September 2012

We have a contract to be there.

honeybee111 · September 2012

megann831:
MrsG2B83:
I could send DH but he'd come back with some useless information like "It was cool" and that's it.
lol, thank you, I'm glad I'm not the only one

OK, but, you're a teacher(so am I), you KNOW how open houses/back to school nights go in general. If I were in your situation, I would send DH no problem, but if you think yours is really that helpless, just tell him what to expect. For example, have him make sure he knows which field trips are coming up, what homework is required, etc.(I'm just trying to think of what's on my back to school night presentation) If you have questions, write them down and send them with him. Yes, it's kind of hand holding, but if I had to attend my own back to school night, DH would definitely be stepping up and attending DD's if it were on the same day. At my school, it's usually just one parent who shows up anyways.

teachers WWYD?

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