what to do what to do

starsinger17 · September 2012

So I'm trying to plan the inevitable. My mother is flying 3000 miles to come help out after the baby is born. We have no idea when she should buy the ticket for or how best to go about it.

My mom seems to think that my doctor can give me a better estimate now of when I can expect to have to baby, although obviously with no guarantees. Does anyone know what they'll look at to give that estimate?

Has anyone in a previous pregnancy been given an estimate around now and had it be accurate?

Every one keeps telling me that compared to their experiences they think that I'll have my baby early because I'm so big and carrying really low and already having stronger menstrual cramp like pains off and on the past day or so (nothing trackable though). I know we're not doctors but experiences help ease my mind and give me a better idea. TIA.

This is so stressful. I wish there was a narrower margin than 6 weeks, makes things so difficult to plan.

RissKay · September 2012

Sorry girl, there really isn't any way. What people mean when they say doctors can usually give you an estimate, is they'll check your effacement and dilation. That being said, you could walk around at 80% effaced and 3 cm dilated, and nothing happen for 3 weeks. Also, they don't want to see that kind of activity this early; you shouldn't show sings of that for at least 3-4 weeks, if not later. My mom is going to come down a week before I'm due, if I don't go sooner, and just plan on staying with us until baby boy gets here. Good luck!!

jennygirlmt · September 2012

Agree with the pp, at this point your doctor's guess is as good as yours. I would plan around what your mom wants to be there for and how long she can stay. Maybe it's important to be there for the birth so she books early to be sure. But maybe she would rather miss that and have time to spend with baby and help you, so booking after your due date would be best then.

Or you could weigh the cost of buying a refundable ticket, or maybe finding an intense insurance policy that would reimburse if the timing was wrong (though then she would have to pony up for a last minute ticket.)

Im so sorry, I'm nervous about planning for my family and they are a 4 hr drive, I can't imagine planning around a 6 hr, expensive flight.

jkg0527 · September 2012

Unless you're getting a c section there is no "good timeframe" to give you. I agree with pp you could be walking around fully effaced and 3 cm dialated for weeks. If your mom wants to come early and has time to stick around then maybe a week after you've started dialating? Other than that its all a waiting game.

rnbeth477 · September 2012

I agree with pp. There is no way to know, unfortunately.

My stepmom is flying out when I'm 39 weeks and 1 day. I had DS at 39 weeks and 4 days. She will be taking care of DS while we're at the hospital, so we really would like for her to be here before I go into labor. It's a gamble... I'm praying I don't go sooner. If I do, she will change her flight to earlier and DS will stay with our neighbor friends until after we have the baby than my DH will pick him up.

Ladymouse · September 2012

NO way to know. My mom is coming a week before my due date, and has permission from her boss to work remotely. Most kids in both our families come early. *shrug* Had another friend whose kids were spot on, 16 days late, and 5 days early, in that order.

Amaryllis619 · September 2012

its a tricky situation!!

my mom is coming 4 weeks before my due date and likely stayng 6 weeks afterward. I'm lucky she doesn't work and wants to come spend time with us & DD(s). i really needed someone here to be able to watch DD when i'm in labor & to drive me to the hospital. DHs work schedule is crazy.

my mom is buying her ticket via Southwest, i guess they are pretty flexible about dates, maybe look into a flexible ticket?

GL

vnstacie · September 2012

That is tough!

We decided that my dad would just come up to help out about a week before I'm "due" this way he is here in case H is working OOT that day.

I do want to say that last pregnancy, my EDD was sept 15, my OB said in the beginning I would deliver exactly a week early, and what do you know? My water broke exactly a week early. Not sure if it makes a difference that my OB was about 80, and has been delivering babies for forever, he even delivered me.. Weird?

Want a personalized experience?

what to do what to do

Re: what to do what to do

Choose Another Board

Search Boards