December 2012 Moms
minervacullen
member
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Stupid emotions, sorry longish.
minervacullen
member
I am just a mess today. First I was crabby to DS this morning. Then I was content when the two of us went to the farmers market. Now for the past several hours I am either bitter, crying, or paranoid. SMH. Seriously. The crying started when I was attempting to clean the house. I tried to bring a basket of laundry down stairs to wash and it HURT so effing bad. Like I dropped the basket, clothes spilled down the stairs and I almost collapsed. That's when the crying started. Then I figured dusting and putting out fall decor is easy and would make feel happy. Snort, not so much. I couldn't get my butt off the floor after dusting and redoing my pretty stuff on my ends tables, then I put fall leafy garland up on all the windows. Climbing/scaling the couch and dinning room chairs.... not such a good idea. I stretched to far and started having contractions. That got me crying again, though it looks pretty. DH has been gone since 6am at a Jiu Jitsu tournament and I can't help thinking he is checking out all the non pregnant sexy ladies and being disgusted with me, see paranoid. I usually go to these with him, but it was a 3hour car ride and I'd have to do the sit and wait crap all day. I still have a ton of house work to do, but I have to rest because of these darn contractions. I miss being able to do stuff. I feel so useless. I know I sound super whiny and all that, it's like I have zero control of myself today.
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Re: Stupid emotions, sorry longish.
I know exactly how you feel! I'll be so motivated to get all the housework and errands done, have a plan all set for how I'll do everything. I'll even make very detailed lists. Then, boom. I dust our bedroom blinds and throw in a load of laundry and start having BH like a mofo and am done for at least the next couple of hours. And forget vacuuming. That puts me out of commission for the rest of the day because it's a two part process due to wood and tile floors. First I have to sweep/vac, then I have to steam. By the time I'm done I feel like I've run a marathon and like I've been kicked in the back.
The crying doesn't happen often for me, but when it does, it will.not.stop. Something stupid will set me off, and all of a sudden, it's as though someone turned on a faucet in my head and just walked away. The other night, as I was laying in bed trying to fall asleep, the baby kept kicking and rolling around, and I had to get up to pee literally every five minutes. I felt like I was being tortured. After the third or fourth trip, I just lost it and ended up curled in a ball on the couch, crying like a baby. Once I got it out, though, I felt better, so I guess that's something.
I have been there. Actually recently, as in about an hour ago. I just want to get everything done that I know needs to be done and I used to be able to clean top to bottom in 1 day. Now, I feel like I need to prioritize what needs to get done. It sux. To top all of this off my husband is immunosupressed so I have to be VERY careful and make sure all of the points of contact that people touch are completely clean and disinfected day in and day out. It's a stressful thing. I am compulsive about vac and swiffering my kitchen, hallways and bathroom but I have learned I can't get it all done in 1 day anymore. Luckily, I vac, then dh will swiffer and wet swiffer the tile floors and hard wood for me while I rest for a few hours bc the BH get to be out of control after I vac. I can't wait until I can do it all again in 1 day and just worry about laundry and grocery shopping on other days. I feel your pain girl, it will get better.
I am learning more and more about what my body needs and right now, rest is what we need. Take it easy. Life is a marathon. Take some time to do nothing--and make it a priority. You need to take care of you for your own sake and baby's. LO's are going to be here before we know it and this is time we aren't getting back.
this
This exactly. I've been having weird hormonal shifts lately, too. I'll be fine one minute and then the next I'll be freaked out about pre-term labor (my crazy irrational fear), worrying about all the cleaning and preparing that still needs done before DS gets here, irritated for no reason, and/or feeling like DH is unattracted to my weeble-wobble body right now. All of it is completely unbased, of course. I know how you feel! But like NK said - we aren't getting this time back. There will be plenty of time later. Try to focus on regular quiet time and rest for yourself.
DD 12/20/99, DS 12/14/12, M/C 9/2014, M/C 1/2015