They just won't stop...

I've been pumping since the day I left the hospital.. EPing since about 2 weeks PP from craazzzyyy serious pain and gave myself an oversupply. I have been trying to reduce my supply...basically since 2 1/2 weeks PP.

It.

Is.

Not.

Working. 

I don't get as much as some people, but maxed out at about 46 oz a day, and right now average about 36 oz a day. I have at least 1,500 oz in my deep freeze and tossed some of the really early milk that was in the regular freezer before we got the deep freeze. 

I am still freezing between 4 and 12 oz a day (depending on how much LO ate, if I made baby food with BM), and I don't know if I am ever going to use any of it. Since I always have more than enough fresh, it seems silly to me to use frozen which is probably a bit less good for her than fresh when I could just give her the fresh. 

I pump 2-3x a day for about 10-15 minutes.. usually within an hour or so after I get up, because I like to give LO a strait-from-the-breast bottle, then again in the afternoon or early evening to give LO another fresh bottle and then once more right before bed so I don't have wake up uncomfortable. So I'm going 8-10 hours between pumps usually, but only about 6 between my second and third pumps.

I tried to drop to 2x a day but then found that I was getting stuck with too much fore-milk and not enough hind-milk and pumping longer wasn't fixing it. It made it harder to get all the milk to come out for some reason. So I'll have to save that for when I'm ready to wean I suppose.

Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful that I have more than enough milk to feed my LO, but it feels so crappy having all this milk in the freezer, and continuing to freeze milk not knowing if I will EVER be able to use it, or if I will just have to toss it.

I asked my LC about donating it and she said the nearest place is in like Iowa or something and that they "don't just take ANY milk". I don't think they would want mine anyway because I was stupid and stored it all haphazardly. It's all dated and what not, but I decided to fill lanisoh bags all the way to the top and then just tossed them into big zip locks once they were frozen, so they're really ugly looking. (I've since started storing them with just 4-6 oz and flat). Plus I still don't know if I had a yeast infection early on.. it could have been what caused me so much pain.. My LO had thrush at her 2 month appt which the pedi missed.. then I took her to another one a few weeks later and she diagnosed it (switched to her!).. so if I did that milk is probably infected with it and no one would want to use it anyway..

Ugh.. I'm not really sure what I'm posting for.. Just a bit of a rant I guess. I hate to be wasteful and my heart just sinks a little bit every time I take some frozen milk down to the freezer. It's silly I suppose.. but it does. And I wish that I could just get my boobs to make a bit less so not so much would be going to waste...