Preemies
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missgooseyface
How are you doing? Do you feel like you and LO have settled into the new NICU? I've been thinking of you and hoping you are feeling more at ease with the nurses and such. Hopefully things are looking up!
Born at 31w3d due to severe IUGR & Placental Insufficiency--2lbs 3ounces
We'll miss you sweet Debbie Girl (4.21.12) and sweet Cindy Girl (8.9.12)
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Re: missgooseyface
Hi Katie,I am c&p my reply to curlingrocks...
Yes and no. The nurse said LO didn't get formula "as far as she could tell" which just isn't a definitive answer to me. It should be in her chart, she either did or didn't. But I realize that my emotions are on edge still from the whole move and getting to know the new rules of this NICU and new nurses, so I let it go. But if I see it again, I will ask to investigate further. LO went from a Level 4 to a Level 2 NICU...and these nurses are just so much more laid back and don't seem as "on the ball" as the nurses at the other hospital. I am sure they are more than competent, I am just used to something else and it is an adjustment. Yesterday, 10-15 mls of my breast milk was just tossed in the trash by a nurse because it was "left over" (meaning...she drew up too much in the syringe). I was furious, but let it go. I don't understand why ANY of my BM should go to waste because LO is being fed a set amount in a feeding tube....it's not like it was in a bottle and she just didn't take it (even when that happens it goes in the tube after feeding). So I don't know why that happened, it seems very careless to me and yet another thing I will be watching closely. They give me bottles to store my milk in 2 oz. portions, so NONE should go to waste for any reason.
With all that said...I am trying to be more understanding and reasonable because I realize that I am hormonal and honestly just tired of my daughter being in the hospital. I can't wait for this part of the journey to end and have my LO home with me. I am trying not to be such a control freak lol I've had to be the strong one and I'm just tired. I want to cry, I want to mourn my pregnancy, I want to be mad that I was robbed of so many "normal" things, I want to be mad that my daughter has to fight to survive even though she is doing so well - I hate that she spent her first weeks of life fighting.
ugh. Sorry, but yea I guess today is a better day.......I'll see when I get to the hospital.I'm so sorry. Sending you hugs because it sounds like you need them.
From what I am hearing it sounds like the end is in sight. This is where it becomes hardest - so brace yourself for that if you haven't. It seems like it will be easier because she is healthier and moving up in the NICU world, but that's when moms have some sort of brain-shift and everything that was driving us before starts to settle back down and we feel the weight of what we've carried.
When DS was moved to the transitional nursery it was tough. It may as well have been a different hospital. Things were different over there - more laid back. It's not just trans for the babies, but trans for us, too...as parents. We have to get ready for the world where there aren't scales after every sip or diaper - for people not washing their hands - and so much. It's overwhelming leaving all that behind. As much as we want to leave NICU it's scary to come home and transition to having a preemie settle in with your dustbunnies and tub that isn't sterile after every use.
Hang in there. I feel that they have to say "as far as we can tell" because legally they can't prove that it didn't happen and her chart is showing all BM. So it's possible. Maybe you should as to speak with the SW and tell them you're having a hard time adjusting and you want to understand. That's what they're there for - please reach out to one.
I know we're all thinking of you.
I haven't been able to get back here until today. I am so sorry to see that you are struggling so much. I remember when the end was in sight I would frequently burst into tears for no reason. It just felt so close, but so far away. I hope you are doing better today.
After my LO came home, I had a lot of PTSD symptoms. I would wake up and think I saw things that weren't there. It was crazy. It got progressively better with support and time. But, it was really hard.
I'll be thinking of you!
We'll miss you sweet Debbie Girl (4.21.12) and sweet Cindy Girl (8.9.12)
