May 2013 Moms

Negative reactions

My IL's have never been positive people (example, when we told them we were getting married MIL says "Well I don't approve" and "don't expect us to babysit"... we weren't even pregnant). Anyways, we called to tell them the good news that we're expecting again. This is how it went:

DH: "Hey mom, I have some good news- we're having another baby"

MIL: "That's good news?".

*puts FIL on the phone*

DH: We're having another baby

FIL: Oh... are you sure that's a good idea?

 The negativity doesn't end there... DH calls his sister:

DH: We're having another baby

SIL: Oh no...

A week later, SIL calls up:

SIL: So, dad keeps saying that you guys are having another baby, is that true?

DH: uh, yes

*facepalm* Glad you forgot already...

No congrats, no "how exciting", nothing. Ugh! Pregnancy hormones make me want to scream at them that they will never see their grandchildren if they act like this... but sensibility steps in and stops me. It makes me sad that my baby is being thought of in a negative way by people who are supposed to love him/her.

 Anyone else dealing with negative comments? How are you handling it?

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Re: Negative reactions

  • I'm sorry you have to deal with this crap. What is wrong with people?
    Together for 8 years, married for 2 <img class=" /> Lilu


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  • People suck.  I'm sorry you are dealing with this.  I am sure there are more people who will be excited for you than not.
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  • Thank you-and I don't know! I should know by now to expect it from them..but still...makes me sad!
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  • Wow, has there been trauma in the family or some other reason why they would react like this? I'm so sorry you are not getting support from family. Have you been able to share with your side of the family? Has this been more positive?
    Married to the love of my life for 3 years :)
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  • Yes, my parents are thrilled. I haven't told my siblings yet, but I know they'll be excited (as are our friends). DH's family has always been this way... they told him growing up to never have kids and that they "ruin your life" (nice, huh?). So, it's kind of to be expected that they wouldn't be thrilled about grandkids. On the other hand, they love DS (MIL always holds him and give him kisses). They're just very strange people. I know its especially hard on DH since they're his parents.
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  • My husband's parents are very similar.  They are not what you'd call kid people.  I'm amazed that they ever had my husband, who is an only child.  These people think that the world begins and ends with "saving for the future."  They are cheap to the point of pathalogical.  They see children only as an expense.  It's hard because I am very uncomfortable telling them about any of this.  My solution is not to tell them until I have no choice.  I just don't want to deal with it.  My family is sooooo different.  We love kids on our side.



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    Me 41, Dh 47, b/g twins (May 2004) conceived via IVF, Pregnant again after three failed FETs
  • ugh, I'm sorry for you and your H to have to deal with that :(  I guess just try to take it with a grain of salt.. if they're good with your son I'm sure they'll be good with this one, too.  Seriously a very strange reaction, though :/
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  • Ugh!!! Sorry you have to deal with that! I am slightly worried about my husband's parents, but I think they will be okay. I know they would prefer for us to wait until we are in our 30's, but that just isn't what we wanted to do.
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  • That is ridiculously awful!
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  • Thank you for the kind words, ladies. "In one ear, out the other" has become my mantra with the IL's. ahh... at least we're across the country from them. :-)
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  • Whoa!! I would be pissed. I'm sorry sorry they are such douches!
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  • I can relate to "negative" inlaws. We are keeping this pregnancy secret from them until we officially announce it to everyone. And not to mention I have a SIL from hell that would go nuts because she seems to think everything is about her and her kids. I would say to not mention anything else to any of them to keep your sanity! If you and the hubby are happy who cares about anyone else!? Stay focus and dont let the negativity stress you out!!
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