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XP: advice from STMs+ on schedules and baby

wifeofadamwifeofadam member
in Attachment Parenting

You would think I would have this stuff figured out by now, but I need you ladies' help on this.

With all of my children so far, I've just sort of been at their mercy. I've taken a very AP approach to parenting and have BF on demand, allowed my babies to nap on me in a carrier, let them us me as a pacifier, and sort of let the family schedule run on the baby's schedule. I bedshared with my babies and would end up getting very little sleep because they end up using me as a pacifier through the night too. I tough it out thinking the closeness is what is best for baby, but I know it isn't what is best for me and the rest of the family because I am exhausted and lethargic the next morning.

I'm realizing right now that when this baby comes that approach just isn't going to be possible. My oldest is now in school and our days are much more regimented so that we can get lessons and outdoor playtime in every day. To save my sanity I am sure I will still be doing a lot of feeding on demand and wearing the baby through naps, but I feel like I'm going to need to strike a balance and for the first time in my life put the baby on some type of schedule for the sake of the rest of the family. Baby is going to have to be on family time and not the other way around.

Does anyone have any advice on how you balance keeping a schedule with your baby and also adhering to some of the AP principles that are important to you? What worked for you in getting your baby on a consistent schedule?

I'm particularly interested in seeing how the moms that already have a few kids have handled this. Like I said, you would think I would have had this figured out by now, but sadly I don't!

    
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Re: XP: advice from STMs+ on schedules and baby

  • BriDailyBriDaily member
    I highly suggest checking into getting a baby hammock. It will mimick their resting place before birth and probably allow you to get more sleep. Also, don't be afraid to ask people for help. I know this is tough, we try to do it all as mothers, but it is sooo important to make sure you are able to get the rest you need... lots of naps included! I am interested in doing placental encapsulation with my second... you should check into it. It can help combat fatigue and depression PP.
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  • nosoup4unosoup4u member

    I dunno, I think baby wearing really lends itself to having more than one kid to look after. Do you have experience with the high back carry in a wrap? Can't you carry really teeny babies on your back that way (someone correct me if I'm wrong!).

    As for the sleeping, we put our kids in a crib for that first stretch at night, which helped give them experience with the crib and sleeping alone. Do you use a co-sleeper, so the baby is somewhat separated from you at night?

    My younger son has his own room now, and is still waking 1-2 times a night, and it is killing me to get up and sooth him and then go back to my bed...I primarily co-slept with my kids when they were little, and now I'm realizing it was the best choice for me - so much easier to not have to get out of bed a few times a night.

    hth

    DS1 - Feb 2008

    DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)

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  • DeniseRNDeniseRN member
    My DS1 was super high needs, and still is at 3. I did the sameBF on demand, bed shared, lived at his mercy basically. It honestly created a huge sleep problem bc he still won't sleep without touching another person

    This time around, DS2 is much more mellow. I'm not sure if its his temperament or me being more comfortable and secure. He was jaundiced and sleepy in the hospital and I had to feed him every two hours around the clock.

    When he reached birthweight at 10 days PP, I fed every 2 hours during the day and as needed at night. He initially woke every 3 hours at night, but has, on his own, started STTN at 10 weeks, 9p to 4 or 5am. I know this will change lol

    From day 1, I had him in his own sleep space. He started in a RNP and I moved him to a PNP. When he started having his 4am wake up, I started to nurse on my side and he and I will go back to sleep until 630.

    We have to get up then to take DS1 to school.

    During the day he nurses on demand now and that ends up being every 2 or 3 hours.

    I have him on a loose schedule bc we have to bc I have to be places. Sometimes it just has to be that way
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