Can I please vent
Sept1799
member
So I have been on here occasionally but not a regular poster....but right now I don't have anyone to talk to and really really need to vent.
I love my family and I love staying home. We choose for me to SAHM becuase it wasn't logical for me to go to work, I would not be bringing home much after day care etc. Needless to say we have given up a lot but very happy we are doing it.
My dd is 2 years 4 months and I have never spent anytime away from her. My ds is 7 months and I EBF him. I don't pump as I am always home and didn't want to spend money on a pump if it didn't work (didn't work for dd).
We still get up every 3 hours to feed and sometimes it takes a bit to get him back to sleep. Between feedings my dh snores really loud and I am always telling him to turn over etc. He wakes me up in between. Well I am pretty much used to it and lack of sleep but sometimes I just get really overly tired. I feel like a truck ran me over. I sometimes can't get up inj the morning.
This morning was hard and I felt very sick (this whole week I have felt like I could be coming down with something). So I put ds in the bouncer (becuase he gets up at 5 am.) in the bathroom while dh was getting ready for work. He had to leave and put him in my arms and I was feeling really dizzy so I put him in the middle of my floor and put Mickey on for a few min while I tried to get up. Well something bit DH in the butt and picked him up and put him in the PNP, well he cried so loud. I was like why did you do that? Becuase YOU need to get up and be a MOM..... Really??? It was your choice to SAH with them.
Ok, granted I am home with them and I love it BUT its 24/7 job...I don't get a day off like he gets days off from work. I don't get sick days. I can't get away for lunch.
Last night I asked him to get the sippy from the car that I forgot the other day. His response....you were home all day....Really?!?!?!? What does he think I do all day?!?!? Sleep? Not with a 2 yr old and 7 month old....that they don't nap at all...
Ok vent over...sorry so long
Re: Can I please vent
Time to plan a weekend hair apt....while you are gone get your nails done and shop a bit.... be gone a good part of the day. He will get it really fast all that you do! Have a long talk with DH that while you get he is stressed from work and he has long days.... so do you and your days DO NOT end, EVER...and you DON'T have weekends off! DH helps on weekends and evenings (I do ask him when I need help because he is sometimes clueless) and he wants me to go do stuff for me to have "ME" time. BTW...how did you make it to gold status if you hardly ever post??
I haven't posted on here in like a year on the bump. I have been part of the knot before the nest and the bump were here....I always bumped and nested when I worked. It was really slow where I did work and was on here all day everyday.
Sit down tonight and talk to him. Tell him how much you love staying home, biput how exhausted you are. Tell him specifically what you need. " I really need to catch up on sleep, can you get up with them in the morning, and I would like to take a nap tomorrow." be specific he is not a mind reader. Hugs this is a really hard time but this too shall pass.
Aughhh Gotcha
It always amazes me that DH has time to book vacations and get all sorts of stuff done at work! LOL...When I worked as an Oral surgical Asst., we hardly had time to eat! Guess that what prepared me to be a SAHM! LOL! Anyways, didn't mean for you to be passive aggressive with your DH, Obviously tell him you are going out and when you will be back! When I have a hair apt or leave to run errands... DH is always like, OMG I don't know how you do this all day! And we just have an 8 month old! And communication is key....like I said before, have a long talk about it 
Also, when you come back happy and refreshed...ready to take on the kids again and be happy around DH, he will notice a diff! Good luck and keep us posted 
Thanks.....I appreciate the kind words....normally I am all good with what I do all day but sometimes it does get to you.....I am going to talk with him again about it and hopefully this weekend he will give me a chance to rest some....
Once I get going I am normally ok, its when I sit and bf my ds I get tried.... I wish I could feed on the go....lol
I totally agree with all of this, especially the bolded. It sounds like you're going through a really rough time right now, sleep deprivation PLUS being primary caregiver for two LOs is no joke! I think it's time to have a serious discussion with your H because it sounds like he's just not getting it or pulling his own weight.
I do think you deserve a little time away though so I would do something nice for yourself that you want to do. Everyone deserves that and it sounds like it would be good for your H to have the kids full time for a little bit to be reminded how challenging it can be!
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For starters, start sleeping separately. DH snores, too, and never took any offense to me sleeping in another room. And I'll be honest, even though DS is 3yo, I still sleep separately. Because DH still snores. He knows that I need sleep to function on my job just like he does.
DH pulled that crap with leaving while I was dizzy once. And only once. Yes, I know you have a job, but there are some days where I'm too sick to do my job. We talked about it. I told him how hurt I was and that I would never leave him like that. Since then, if I ask him to wait to leave for work, he knows its serious and he waits. Just a couple of weeks ago, I had horrendous vertigo. Couldn't stand up and just kept throwing up. He took off, took me to the doctor, went to get my meds AND managed to keep DS quiet enough that I could get some sleep. (He knows I don't ever take advantage of that, so when I need him to (take off work) he does it w/o question.)
I agree with all of the pps. Your DH seems to think you have it "easy" and perhaps he is stressing at work and it is setting him off. It took my DH a bit to really understand what this gig took. Early on one day when he came home and the house was a mess, he asked what I had been doing all day. The short version is that was the LAST time he ever said that. The conversation happened that night. I had a 2 year old and a 6 month old at that time. Some days a shower wasn't even in the picture.
Make sure you are calm and organized when you are talking to him. And he needs to understand that you aren't super human. We get sick too just like the rest of the world and someone needs to pick up the slack for us- just like he'd take off from work if he were sick. Does he think it's safe for you to watch the children when it is possible that you might pass out???
But this seems bigger than illness. He has made many comments to you. I am willing to bet that you find he is having a stressful time at work but he needs a different outlet than taking it out on you. Most people know that there is nothing glamorous about staying at home. And we have tough times too. Your feelings should count. Good luck! I hope he really listens and you come up with a better way to communicate over it.