Anyone watch Modern Family? Long. pg ment.

Bayberry12 · September 2012

So, I used to love that show, I thought it was so funny. I recently saw the episode where the couple does not get to take home the child they were going to adopt and they were so heartbroken, of course I could relate in a way, and it was hard for me to watch.

I wasn't sure if I would watch the show this season because the character, Gloria, is going to be pregnant. (I am not into shows with pregnancy/babies right now). Well it comes on last night and I see the first minute or so and immediately feel like I am going to start crying. They were talking about not getting to adopt the baby, and still having all the baby things and how they should donate them. So the tears started, and I tried to hide them, and said I was going to bed - at 9pm.

MH started freaking out, about how I don't talk to him or let him in. And he just wants me to be better, and get over this. And of course I told him I don't think will ever happen. How can you "get over" losing a child? I told him he doesn't understand grief and I will have to live with this forever. It was a mess! He wants me to get out and live agin. I don't work anymore, so I spend a lot of time at home.

I feel like I have been making progress, but he doesn't seem to agree. This is where our "plan" has to come in. I feel like we need to decide what direction we are going in. I look at things as going in one of two directions; we have another baby now, (I am 33 he is 37) or I look for a new job, focus on a career and give up the idea of having children. I know that sounds drastic, but this is how I feel, we have been trying to start a family for almost 2 years, had 2 pregnancies and 2 losses. It doesn't seem like a family is going to come easily, and we should not be wasting time.

So, thanks Modern Family for setting me off. ugh

Sorry this is so long, I just needed to vent I guess.

jbranden12 · September 2012

I'm sorry Bayberry, I had a hard time watching it too. The part where Cam and Mitchell finally admitted they were sad and started talking about plans they had for the baby made me tear up. Also when they talked about wanting to get away. We felt the same thing. I remember the day I went to the hospital to be induced, we stopped by a travel agency and picked up lots of brochures for all-inclusives. We talked about the vacation we were going to take to get us through a lot of the night. We had to focus on something, anything else but what was happening.

I agree that your husband probably just wants you to get out and live again. To him, does this include trying for another baby? I'm sure he doesn't know how to phrase it, but it's normal to want his wife back. But we will never be the same as we were, and that's normal too. ((HUGE HUGS)). We're always here when you need to vent.

fluttergirlmoonchild79 · September 2012

Like you I normally love the show. What's kind of "funny" (maybe divine intervention) - since we just moved and have a new cable company, we've had to go through and set up all the shows we normally record. I could have sworn I had set it up to record, ended up calling my mom and figured I'd watch it when I was off the phone with her - it never recorded. I don't know if I did something wrong or what but I only got to see maybe the last 5 minutes of it.

My DH said something similar to me a few weeks ago. I was having a really bad day for some reason and at one point totally lost it. At one point, DH told me "I've got enough going on with work and then I have to come home and deal with you!" Nice, very nice. I told him I feel lost. I'm still working (even though I said I was going to quit when Corbin was moving around) but he really wants me to get a new job and pressures me to make more money. I'm with him on getting a new job but here's my predicament - we're going to start trying again next month. In order to be eligible for FMLA, you have to be working somewhere for a year and my car is completely dead and he refuses to get me one that works, so how am I supposed to do any of that? Plus I don't know what I want to do. He's upset with me because I spent money to go back to school (for the 3rd time) to take classes to take the CPA exam. Spent money on study aids and spent money to take the entire test twice (it's like $850 for the whole test) and after Corbin - I just don't have it in my heart to do it and forgot everything.

DH keeps telling me he wants his wife back. I try to tell him that I'm still here but I will never be the person I used to be. I'm so fearful that he doesn't love the person I am now and will leave me.

I understand the "drastic" decision. It's a tough one that doesn't seem to have a clear cut answer. I hope everything works out for you and DH

lolee465 · September 2012

I used to love that show, but just seeing the commercials for this season made me cry. I'm not ready so I skipped it. I haven't done an intro here yet, but I lost my baby girl a month ago due to IC at 24 weeks. I've been trying to only watch "safe" shows.

I'm sure your DH knows the grief your going through and feels it too, but seeing you so sad is probably just hard for him. I've been in a really bad place, but my DH tries so hard to make me smile and when I do I can tell how happy it makes him.

buggirl72 · September 2012

Last night's episode was bad. I made it to the end. The poem and seeing her hold her belly were what destroyed me. I miss my belly and I miss not feeling him move around. I know that I was a very fortunate FTM in that I got to feel him early and my DH even was able to feel movement, and during the last week, some kicks.

OP, does it have to be one or the other? I think going back to work may be good for you or, finding something to do outside of the home - but does that mean you are done?

Bayberry12 · September 2012

Thank you so much guys.

I really think having another child is going to be a big step in trying to heal, and I feel like it's the next logical step. I just don't see myself going back to work full time, at a new job, only to be there *hopefully* less than a year. I don't feel like putting all my energy into a new job/career is worth it right now. Maybe if something small part time comes along that might be a better option.

fluttergirlmoonchild79 - are we married to the same man?! The "I'v got enough going on at work..." is exactly what came out of DH's mouth last night.

I know how hard it is when you don't even feel like yourself anymore, and are afraid of the future. It wasn't suppose to be like this....for any of us.

Big Hugs to all of you.

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Anyone watch Modern Family? Long. pg ment.

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