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Baby Showers
Baby Shower Help!
So here's the thing-my husband and I are expecting our first baby to arrive on January 30th. My mom wants to throw me a baby shower but due to the Holidays she says she probably won't be having it until the second weekend of January...2 weeks before my due date! I got upset when she told me this because I am a total type A personality and I know I will need time to put together all the gifts, unpack everything, return duplicate/unwanted gifts, send out thank you cards and still buy anything else we may need. There is also the small reality of the fact that I may go into early labor and could miss my own shower! She says I am being unreasonable and am taking all the fun out of it, but I thought she would be much more understanding seeing as the type A apple didn't fall too far from the tree. I love that she is doing this for me, but I really don't know how I will be able to have a good time at a party when I am nine months pregnant and overwhelmed with everything that has to get done after the shower. My husband on the other hand says that if I do go into labor before the shower we will be fine because we have a crib, 5 pieces of clothing for the baby and I am planning on breast feeding...yeah, that should cover all the bases hun 
Other than the need to vent, I want to know if I am being totally unreasonable in wanting my shower to be earlier (like December 1st, November 3rd or November 10th) or should I just cross my legs, try to shed some water weight and sit on the sofa for my baby shower.
Other than the need to vent, I want to know if I am being totally unreasonable in wanting my shower to be earlier (like December 1st, November 3rd or November 10th) or should I just cross my legs, try to shed some water weight and sit on the sofa for my baby shower. This discussion has been closed.
Re: Baby Shower Help!
I'm torn on how to respond. I wouldn't want to have my shower so close to the due date either, especially now looking back at how uncomfortable I was at the end.
On the other hand, your mom is the host...
It's not even October yet, is it at all possible to have the shower in early November instead? Better early than too late, I think.
What really concerns me is that you seem to be counting on other people's gifts for your child.
From the tone of your post it sounds like you're venting instead of being grateful. If you used the same tone to talk to your mom about it I can understand why she said you're taking the fun out of the shower.
Talk to your mom calmly about why you want to change the date, then offer the 3 that work for you. You are not being unreasonable with any of those dates. However, your mom offered to throw the shower so if the two of you can't figure out a date to agree on you should turn it down.
Your husband has a valid point too. It looks like you have a good start. Newborns don't need much so you'll just need a carseat, diapers, blankets, and formula/bottles (in case you have a hard time breast feeding). That really isn't much at all.
Good Luck. I hope you and your mom can work it out and that you'll have a wonderful shower.
I'm due January 24th, and my showers are going to be Nov. 10 and Dec. 1st. We are also waiting to buy a ton of stuff until after the showers so I totally understand your concern. I would not want it that close to my due date either!!! I am FTM obviously and anxious about every little thing so having it that close to my EDD would really stress me out.
Good luck-I hope you guys work it out!
But if she really insists on January, THANK HER and relax and realize it will all work out. Really, it will.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Um, a crib, a carseat, and clothing will cover the bases...
I do think 2 weeks is cutting it close, but your mom is the one hosting. She gets to choose.
I also think she may be thinking about letting the holidays blow over a little so people have their first of the year budgets back in place. Having a shower around the holidays is tricky due to money.
You will have LOTS of time after the baby comes to get things set up, returned, etc. I was at BRU quite frequently after DS was born and I also re-arranged his nursery 500 times because once baby gets here, you realize things work a little differently, logistically, in the way rooms are set up.
Stop stressing out over this.
Yes, this. FTMs are usually screaming and yelling about going past their due dates.
Over-40 parents...what we lack in vigor, we make up for with cunning.
I hate to be one of those people, but I was a FTM and went into labor 14 days exactly before my due date. LO was born early the next morning. It does't always happen, but it does.
OP, try calmly explaining to your mom that you'd prefer another date, perhaps in early to mid-Decemeber. If she still insists on the January date, just let her go with it and hope for the best. As the host she does get the final say and things can always be rescheduled or cancelled. People will be very understanding under the circumstances if the party doesn't go on as planned.
I don't think it's unreasonable to be worried- even though many first time moms go late, there's no guarantee you'll be one of them and you are a lot more uncomfortable that last month. I'd delicately ask your mom how she would feel about a shower in November before the holiday rush, and if she doesn't seem up for it, I would go ahead and get yourself set up- box of newborn diapers, wipes, cream; 5-10 footie sleepers, few blankets and burp cloths, towel and washcloths, car seat, and something to set the baby down in (bouncer seat, swing, RNP, whatever), and some bottles, nursing cover and your breast pump. There are still plenty of supplies that people could purchase off your registry that you wouldn't need until later.
I would just make sure that you're set-up enough that you feel comfortable being ready regardless of what you receive as gifts, and if you need anything after baby is here, you can do a big BRU run then.
Not only is two weeks plenty of time, but if you were truly such a "type a", you would have everything opened, put away and returned/exchanged as needed in one day like I did.
Calm down and enjoy the party.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
I'm due January 28th and my shower is on Nov. 3rd, however my mom asked for my input when she was choosing a date. Unless your mom asks, you'll have to go with what she's comfortable with.
Holidays really screwed us for a good shower time eh? lol.
1) It will all work out. If your biggest issue is having your shower on the wrong day, you're ahead of most people.
2) It's just a party, not a wedding, it's two hours (maybe three?) out of one day of your life where you get to be the center of attention. You'll enjoy it far more if you keep perspective.
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
If January works well for your mom then I guess there is really nothing you can do since she is the hostess. Would she consider moving it even 1 week earlier?
The pps are correct in that 2 weeks is plenty of time to get everything opened, washed, put away - actually 1 or 2 days is enough. Another day to buy what you still need (or think you need).
I've hosted 2 showers for people who didn't have them until just after their babies were born (their request)...so 2-3 weeks after delivery. They had just the basics (crib or bassinet, sheet or two, a couple of onesies, a couple of sleepers, a blanket or two, and a carseat). Both of them got a lot of stuff from the hospital as I did (knitted hat, t-shirt, tons of newborn diapers, receiving blanket, bottles with formula in them and also some other formula - powdered and liquid, comb/brush, thermometer, bulb syringe, petroleum ointment, etc). A lot of that stuff comes in a diaper bag. Matter of fact I am still using the hospital diaper bag because I like it better then the costly one I bought!