Temper Tantrums
shamilton223
member
My son has recently become quite a handful. Over the last week or so he's started having little temper tantrums whenever he's not getting his way. Since DH and I both work, it's hard for us to know exactly what's going on with his sleep/eat schedule.
I've tried hard to remain patient and redirect but I'm on the verge of losing it. When we get home in the afternoons he's angry and cracky and tired and hungry all at the same time. If he doesn't immediately get a bottle and a short nap, he's impossible to deal with 6:00pm. His typical bedtime is between 8 - 8:30. I usually try to wait until 7:30 before we start our last feeding so that when he goes down he'll be down for the night.
It may all be related to teething or the stuffy nose we're fighting, but I'm close to my wits end.
Is anyone else experiancing anything similar?
Re: Temper Tantrums
I wouldn't think it's a tantrum as they are too young for that but I know what you mean. They are figuring things out and can simply show you a bit better when they are not too happy
My DD has gotten more expressive lately, too and will show when she's angry. It consists of a very high pitches scream, a back arching every so often, she'll throw a toy if it's in front of her and she'll yell NEYNEYNEYYY.
A part of it is teething too I think. But she's definitely a bit more difficult to deal with and usual things such as toys, music etc don't fly. So we go for an extra walk or a car ride, or daddy plays the guitar. Not sure how much longer this will last until we have to come up with a new strategy.
But long story short, you're not alone.
I agree that your caretakers should be providing you with some info on the feeding/sleep schedule. Our caretaker gives us a little sheet that has all the feedings, diaper changes, and naps on it, and usually verbally updates me on where DD is when I pick her up (did she just get up? Is she ready for a feeding?).
I understand your concern about starting a feeding to soon, but I've found DD often needs a small feeding around 5 even though she's going to get a giant feeding at 6. She usually still bfs and then polishes off a 6 oz bottle before bed, even when I feed her a little at 5. You might consider introducing a solid food meal around 6.
Finally, yes, DD is starting to "voice" her displeasure with us. She's taken to throwing her head back, which is adorable (but don't tell her that). At this age, I take it in two ways: (1) maybe I'm not listening to her cues and she has to get verbal with me (e.g., she's hungry and I need to feed her); or (2) she's been given a limit (e.g., no, you can't eat the power cord to the laptop; or, yes, you have to have your poopy diaper changed) and she's upset about it. If she's upset, I label it for her and then try to distract her. I got an email update saying that kids this age start to protest more as they recognize their behavior is communicative.
Thanks for the input. Like I said this is all a very recent development. I agree that it is a little too soon for a full-on temper tantrum. I guess what I mean is that a cranky little man is suddenly very expressive especially when he's not happy.
We I've tried to avoid the 6pm "nap" but he just doesn't quite seem to make it without a little 15 minute power nap. If I put him down that early he's right back up screaming before I can get out of the room.
Of course I'm not trying to redirect hunger. I try to feed him immediately when we get home but sometimes he refuses to eat (either mashed food or formula) until he's had a few minutes to play first.
I do have an idea about a rough schedule. I know that typically we get up around 6am, he gets some "real food" and a bottle not long after he gets to daycare around 6:30. Around 9 is another bottle and a nap. Sometime around noon is more "real food", bottle, and nap at 12:30. The mid-day nap is the longest typically I think on the order of 2 hours. Then I think he usually has another bottle around the time he wakes up from the nap, plays some more, and then sometimes takes a last bottle at daycare around 4:30 or so. Then we try to feed him "real food" and a bottle around 5:30 or 6 after we get home. Then typically there has to be at least part of another bottle before bed or we can give up on him sleeping through the night.
What I meant by saying that we don't have a good idea about his schedule is that I don't get a daily report saying this is what he did. There are 3 people who rotate in and out. Sometimes when I pick him up, the person caring for him has only been with him for the last hour or so. It's just impossible for me to really get the full picture on a day-to-day basis. Also since this is a very recent change, I've only been able to speak with one of the ladies who work there so far. I'm in the process of asking each of them if they've noticed any changes to his schedule lately but it's going to take some time.
It does me good to know that others are struggling with this time of day as well. It's kind of a recent development for us so I was just wondering if this was something unique to us or not. I still suspect that some of this could be caused by teething or the fact that he's not sleeping as well due to the allergies we're fighting. My other thought is that he may have been napping again around 3:30 or 4 and is no longer getting that nap since the school-age kids are arriving around that time. He is a very nosey little boy and won't stand for missing out on new activities.
Thanks to everyone for the comments. Keep any ideas coming on ways we can adjust to make this time a little easier.
"Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it the more it will elude you but if u turn your attention to other things it will come & sit softly on your shoulder."
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That was the behavior I was seeing too. I suppose it's not a tantrum because they aren't old enough yet to be doing it maliciously. However, I am worried that if I give in and return the taken away toy/etc. that I'm reinforcing bad behavior.
It turned out DS has started skipping his mid-day nap from time to time. That was his long 2 hour nap. On the days this was happening, it turns out he was just so tired that nothing was making him happy. Fortunately, the last week or so he's been back on his usual nap schedule so we're back to normal.
However, I do feel that even as young as 8-9 months that we as parents have to begin doing some llight behavior teaching. Right now I believe that it should never consist of more than ignoring the bad behavior while creating a new game to play. But I really don't want to risk teaching my child that screaming fits result in him getting his way.