older moms - come in please

SigmundsGirl · September 2012

One of the guys at work was talking to me about taking his son to get his driver's license. This kinda threw me for a loop since the guy isn't much older than me (I'm 37). I just realized that I will be 51 when DS gets his license and if I can have another baby before I turn 39 (the clock is ticking on that one) I would be 55 when baby #2 gets a driver's license.

We didn't expect it to take so long to get pregnant with DS and since I lost the baby it is incing me closer and closer to delivering close to 39.

I know there are older moms than me, but I am really starting to feel old. And before we lost the baby we said we would stop trying around Sept if it didn't work out. Then I got pregnant and it wasn't an issue. Now we are thinking - what is a few more months of trying - so we are giving it until the end of the year.

I am causing myself way too much stress. Agh. Does this type of thought ever overwhelm anyone else or is it just me?

baybreezer · September 2012

I'm 36. When I read your title I was wondering if it was someone like me that you were talking about. I don't feel like an "older" mom but I guess I am. My husband will be 40 soon so when he is 80 our yet to be conceived baby will be just 40. Our parents aren't nearly that old, mine are in their late 60s. It makes me sad to think if DS waits as long as we did to have kids that I'll be too old to enjoy being a grandparent. I think I'll tell him to not put it off for so long!

But I hope nobody thinks I'm my son's grandparent at his high school or college graduation!

SigmundsGirl · September 2012

Yeah, I almost cried when they told me I was "advanced maternal age" when I delivered DS at age 35.

My parents were "older" for their generation when they had kids. My mom was 30 when she had my brother and 32 when she had me. Because I was even older when I had DS my mom wasn't a grandma until 67. Needless to say our parents don't babysit or watch him much. They just can't keep up with him. Heck some days I can't.

And DH just turned 40, but since he isn't actually giving birth I guess it isn't exactly the same, but he still worries about being an older dad.

This doesn't stop me from wanting to expand our family, but getting close to 40 and having a newborn freaks me out.

JilliansMoma · September 2012

I'm an older mom too I'm 38. I think being the mom of two young children makes me feel younger and people think I'm much younger than I am because my kids are so young.

One of my Buyers had DD #2 right before their house was finished being built. I hate to admit it but I'm one of those "nosey nellies" who asked if she was going to try for a boy. I was shocked when she told me she just turned 50 and thought she was too old. 1-I assumed she was my age because she had just had a baby and 2-She looked amazing!

I really think age is just a number. My DH and I are more secure in our careers, we have established our home, we have nice retirement accounts started and our relationship is more solid because we waited to become parents. Plus, I feel like we appreciate and are raising our kids differently than our friends who had children out of high school (not that there is anything wrong with that it's just different).

Plus when we are 80, it will be the new 60! LOL!!

SigmundsGirl · September 2012

JilliansMoma:

Plus when we are 80, it will be the new 60! LOL!!

I love it! And you are right, I don't always feel old. I just get overwhelmed when I look at it all on paper. And kudos to the awesome looking 50 year old. I hope I still look relatively young then.

efhoping2010 · September 2012

I will be 36 in March and when we discussed with the RE another possible IVF I was sad to see I am now on the upper part, 36-40, of their IVF success chart and the success rates greatly decline, ugh. When I had my first IVF with the twins I was safely under 35 and things looked much sunnier success wise. I do think having and chasing young children keeps us young and age is just a number. DH is 30 and he thinks we have all of the time in the world to have more children I wish that was true, my AMH certainly does not say so. So what I mean to say is that I do not feel old until my RE says I am, then I do, boo! So yes the time ticking issue is very stressful, I hope you have success soon and then you can have pregnancy stress which would be much better!

74dragonfly · September 2012

I'm 38. I'll be 39 in May. My AMH was. 7 last Fall. My Dr said my time is limited to conceive. I kind of have in my head that I'll consider giving up when I turn 39. At that point it will be 2.5 years ttc 2. I do feel pressure. If I knew it would be this hard I would not have waited for 2. I advised two friends not to wait. They are both pregnant due this winter.

ammare · September 2012

I'm 35 and had DS at 32. 32 didn't seem that old, but I am starting to feel like time is running out. We are older for parents in our area. Luckily though I have my grandmother around still and she is a great example for me. She was 32 (again, not that old, but older) when she had my mom and she is still around to see her great grandson and she's in great health. I try to focus on that example when I think about how much older I will be with our next.

I don't consider us old. But, I know what you mean when you start thinking about things in the future.

SigmundsGirl · September 2012

I only feel old when it comes to babies and when I think about how old I will be when they hit certain milestones.

Good points, ammare! My great-aunt will be 99 this Friday. Unfortunately my grandparents are gone, but we do have lovgevity in our family.

Thanks for helping me to be more positive, ladies!

ChiTown Bridget · September 2012

I think about stuff like this a lot. I'm 36 (37 in November) I got married at 27 and started ttc right away. I always figured I would be 31 or 32 when I was done having children. It obviously didn't work out that way. I was 34 almost 35 when my DS was born. Had I not had any losses I would've been 28 when my first was supposed to be born.

queenbone · September 2012

I will be 37 in November and my AMH is very low so I can relate to the pressure of needing to get pg before you 'run out of time.'

I was among the last of my friends to start having children so when I'm talking to my friend whose son is 14 and at that age of, "Maybe you should have him wash his own sheets, kwim?" I feel old. How much older will I be when I need to have that conversation?

I also feel old when I compare how old I am to how old my parents were. When my mom was my age her children were 11 and 9. When her children were the age my children are now, she could still wear a bikini. Let's just say I gave up bikinis before I even had children!

For me the worst part is that my dad died unexpectedly right before DS1 was born. He was 57. I learned that his estranged father died at 54. Both from different types of cancer. So now I fret that I won't live to see 60 and my children will be so young to be motherless. Sorry, I depress myself.

buskey2011 · September 2012

Funny you post this because my friend and I were talking about needing handicap parking spaces for our sons graduation, I will be 36 in dec hubby is 40 and we did tell the dr that is one of the reasons we didn't want to wait to try because in our situation you never know how long this journey will take.

older moms - come in please

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