Induction at 42 weeks w/poor positioning

Cross post from September 2012 moms...

I suppose in a perfect world, my child would have been born on its due date and come out of me with zero complications on a cloud of fluff surrounded by angels. 

I did everything "right" with this pregnancy: ran until 37 weeks, ate super healthy, perfect BP, HR, weight, etc.... My child just didn't want to leave the super comfy space I had created.  At 42 weeks, after refusing induction at 40w5d and my doctor's approval to keep trying to go natural, I was finally induced... here is what went down:

Checked into the hospital at 5pm on Thursday. Cervadil put in at 6pm.  I was 1cm and like 20% with a -4.  Slept like a champ, woke up to nurse taking out the cervadil and letting me know I was now 2cm and 50% and still -3/-4.  Began pitocin drip at 7am on Friday.  Contractions came quickly, and I was in labor from 9am until 4pm, when the doctor broke my water.  The contractions were hard and fast with little down time.  I have never imagined such pain in my life.  When doctor broke my water I was at 4cm and 80% but still a -3.   As soon as water broke, I couldn't stand  or walk because of the intense pitocin contraction pain.  I asked for help, they gave me Demoral.  I threw up, violently.  They had tapered my dose of pitocin, but the damage was done to my psyche and 7 hours of three intense contractions per minute was enough to make me ask for an epi.  4:30 I got the epi and finally felt relief. Contractions continued through the night.  From the moment the drip started, I had tried all sorts of positions to get the head down in the right place.  Husband was there the whole time, encouraging me and holding me hand and letting me know I was doing everything right and it wasn't my fault the little one wouldn't fall into my pelvis.  By 6am on Saturday, I was finally at 9.5 cm and on very little pitocin with one more round of epi because my the meds had left my left side.  The nurse was optimistic that I could get the head down because it had fallen to -2 with all my crazy positioning overnight.  In the meantime, I was catheterized because of the epi and also had a wire stuck in my uterus to determine strength of contractions.   I started pushing at about 7:30 am and my doctor popped in and told me that maybe I should rest a bit before wearing myself out pushing.... which should have been a clue as to what she was thinking was going to happen in the end.  I went ahead and pushed with contractions for about 2 hours, with very little change in the location of child's head.  I was still at-2 and the nurse said that I was an amazing pusher, likely because I am a runner. I slept maybe 2 hours from Friday morning to Saturday morning.  This whole time, through everything, the child was happy as a clam inside of me with a consistent heartbeat.   Even when I pushed, the little one wasn't distressed.  At about 9am on Saturday, my doctor came in and checked me and gave me a look that said everything I didn't want to hear but knew was going to happen.  She advised me to get a c-section because the head just wasn't moving down into the birth canal.  I hadn't budged it with all my pushing and the risk of having a broken clavicle or other bone was just too high with the estimated weight of the baby.  She also pointed out that I was in distress, with blood in my urine and hemorrhoids and, while she had no doubt that I could push out a large child and had the body for it..... she just couldn't let me continue to push and have a good conscience.  I cried the entire time she gave me the explanation, she held my hand as I bawled.  My husband asked the entourage of people in the room to give us a moment.  He held me as we both agreed that this kid was being stubborn and there were too many risks with sticking to my vaginal delivery plan.  I had been at the hospital for over 40 hours at that point, with all but 12 hours of that time being spent in physical war (figuratively).  I was beat up and swollen everywhere.  He went out and told the doctor and nurses to go ahead, they came in to verify with me that I accepted a c-section, and my doctor said she would keep staying over her shift to deliver and recover me.  My parents were called to come on over from out house and they arrived to pray over me and the baby and then I was wheeled off to surgery.  The c-section took no time compared to what I had already been through especially.  The doctor was wrong about the baby being overly huge, but the head was stuck sunny-side up in the canal and was looking right at her when she opened me up.  Husband was in tears as he got to cut umbilical cord and have skin-to-skin contact with our son, or kangarooing, while I was getting sewn up.  I was exhausted, both physically and mentally.  I had basically gone through a hellish physical vaginal labor and a c-section that went perfectly.  

In the end, James Walker was born at 10:26am and weighed a perfectly healthy 9ln5oz and was 20.5" long with a 9 apgar score (10 is perfect).  He had bruising on his cheek and his head was coned and bruised with multiple scrapes from the monitors and pressure I had expended on his little noggin pushing.  I took more drugs in the past two days that I believe I have had in my last two decades of life.  My doctor assured me that I was an excellent candidate for VBAC, and that if this were my 2nd child, he would have popped out in minutes, but my canal was that of a first time mom and Walker just wouldn't turn (which had been the case since about July).  

I am now in a hospital family room, where the little guy nursed like a champ and pooped twice already.  He is healthy, I am fantastically sore and proud to be the mother of a beautiful little boy.  

I am thankful to my doctor and family for respecting my wishes to try everything to make this a natural birth, knowing the medical, bonding, hormonal benefits.... but in end I recognize that my wants are trumped by what is best for the child.... and that is part of this new journey of parenthood that I am on.