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Mrs.Hizzo
member
Ugh...just totally started drama with my sister...
Mrs.Hizzo
member
So, I have two sisters. We all live in town, we're all close but sometimes get on each others nerves. Brief synopsis, I've mentioned that we may lose my dad soon. He and my mom, respectively, have some property in two different states, both of which are being drilled for oil or gas and are also being leased for farming, and both of which have other part owners (aunts/uncles). It's a bit of a cluster and a little overwhelming. My dad is an attorney and has always handled most everything regarding these properties. My mom is worried that no one will know what's going on with them after he's gone, and asked me if I would talk to my dad and try to get a general idea of the situation.
I mentioned this to both of my sisters. My oldest sister seemed to be very blase about the whole thing...in my view, didn't express a lot of interest when I told her I was trying to bone up a bit on "mineral rights 101" and planned to talk to our dad about it. My other sister immediately said that she wants to be a part of any talks we have. Last night we did a family dinner, and my middle sister had already set up a lunch today with my dad so that we could go over this stuff. I a) thought that my oldest sister had heard about this, since we showed up to dinner late and b) didn't think she was terribly interested in sitting down and talking about this, for various reasons. So it honestly, 100%, did not occur to me to make a point of telling her what were doing and asking her to come.
We had our lunch today, very productive. It was middle sis, my mom, my dad, and me. Oldest sis calls tonight and in passing I mentioned it. She flipped. She is so pissed. She said "I had nothing going on today with work, I absolutely would have been there." I kept saying, "I'm so sorry, I really thought you'd heard about it and after talking to you I just assumed you weren't all that interested.." and she said "You know what they say about assuming, right? I'm just really, really irritated." I said, "I completely understand, and you should be irritated with me for being clueless, definitely, but please don't be mad at me because you think I intentionally excluded you, because I swear I didn't." We left things OK, but she's mad. She called my mom and lit into her right after the two of us got off the phone.
So now I feel really bad. I feel like I've unintentionally created family drama at a time when the very last thing we need is any drama. Everyone is having a hard time with my dad's illness, and we need to be supportive of each other, not mad at each other. Not really looking for advice, it will blow over, I just feel shi!tty about it all and wanted to vent. 
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Ugh...just totally started drama with my sister...
I am sorry you have all of this going on with your dad. That puts such stress and sadness on a family.
I have 1 sister and we are very close, but no matter what I do, it seems like there is always something she takes the wrong way (and I am sure it works the other way too). Sisterly love. I agree that she is probably taking her feelings in general out on you. I hope it blows over. You need each other at a time like this.
Yuck, I'm sorry! She'll get over it though. Don't feel guilty, you and the rest of your family are dealing with a lot right now - it's understandable that you underestimated her interest in "mineral rights 101" and also that she'd be overly emotional about it. These are stressful times, family drama happens in spite of our best efforts. Reach out to her tomorrow with a cute email or drop off a favourite snack if she's close by... if that's even necessary.