Baby to funeral visitation?

unaveragejane · September 2012

A friend of mine lost her nephew unexpectedly on Saturday. I didn't know the nephew, but I feel like I should go to the visitation to show support for my friend.. Unfortunately, it is from 11:30-1:00 tomorrow and I don;t have anyone to watch DS. Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to take him with me?

patriciahomol · September 2012

Babies were at my grandfathers funeral. They were, however, family. I don't know if the rules change when the baby is not family.

JessieCupcake · September 2012

I don't think it's inappropriate. I've seen children and babies at wakes before. If your DS starts crying, just walk outside. I'm sorry for your friend's loss.

drbethc · September 2012

I've also seen babies at funerals but it was family...My nephew attended my father's funeral. I don't think its inappropriate, however I know certain cultures opt not to take babies to funerals due to their beliefs, and it is more to do with protection of the baby.

FutureMrsFezz · September 2012

We just brought K to one a couple weeks ago. It was my H's uncle, so it was family. But I don't think it's inappropriate.

snicksnack · September 2012

DH's grandmom died two weeks ago. We did not take the baby only because my mom offered to watch and we did not want to take our 2.5-year old due to her not understanding death etc.. if we only had the baby I would not have thought twice about it. I think it is fine.

jamiah18 · September 2012

Sorry for your friend's loss. I think it's fine. It might even be a nice way to take your friend's mind off of things for a moment. Babies are a nice way to brighten people's day!

Heartcease · September 2012

jamiah18:
Babies are a nice way to brighten people's day!

I was going to say exactly this.

Sigir · September 2012

I usually agree that babies bring joy to funerals, and just brought dd to a wake Sunday. That being said how old was the nephew that died? If he was a young child it may be hard for his parents to see a baby right now just be sensitive to that.

beck8008 · September 2012

We lost my great grandma and my grandma last week (rough week) and I brought LO to both visitations and funerals. I think seeing a cute little guy cheered some people up. He did get a little fussy during one of the services though, so my DH just took him out for a bit.

I think it would be fine

unaveragejane · September 2012

Thanks for the reassurances. I plan to just do the visitation and forgo the funeral in case he gets fussy. The nephew was 23, so young but at least not a child.

jamiah18 · September 2012

beck8008:
We lost my great grandma and my grandma last week (rough week) and I brought LO to both visitations and funerals. I think seeing a cute little guy cheered some people up. He did get a little fussy during one of the services though, so my DH just took him out for a bit.

I think it would be fine

So sorry for your losses! *Hugs*

jamiah18 · September 2012

beck8008:
We lost my great grandma and my grandma last week (rough week) and I brought LO to both visitations and funerals. I think seeing a cute little guy cheered some people up. He did get a little fussy during one of the services though, so my DH just took him out for a bit.

I think it would be fine

So sorry for your losses! *Hugs*

jamiah18 · September 2012

And sorry for the duplicate post!

sam19 · September 2012

How old was the nephew? My SIL lost her newborn recently and I wouldn't take my infant to something like that just because it could be painful for her to see a baby at such an emotional event but if the nephew was an older child then I don't think it would be a problem to take the baby. I'm sure you won't be there long and would leave if LO starts to get fussy.

ETA: Sorry I should have read the replies first.

littlegreenbirdy · September 2012

My Aunt passed this week and we will be bringing DD. Family has already told us they are looking forward to seeing her because she brightens everyones day.

JessieCupcake · September 2012

sam19:
How old was the nephew? My SIL lost her newborn recently and I wouldn't take my infant to something like that just because it could be painful for her to see a baby at such an emotional event but if the nephew was an older child then I don't think it would be a problem to take the baby. I'm sure you won't be there long and would leave if LO starts to get fussy.
nbsp;
ETA: Sorry I should have read the replies first. ;

How awful for your SIL. I cannot imagine..
So sorry for all the losses mentioned in this thread..

Katie829 · September 2012

unaveragejane:
Thanks for the reassurances. I plan to just do the visitation and forgo the funeral in case he gets fussy. The nephew was 23, so young but at least not a child.

My FIL died when L was 2 months. We chose not to bring her to the funeral or wake because we were in the line and obviously a huge part of the wake/funeral. Everyone asked where she was and I just assumed it would have been inappropriate to bring her. We had her at the mercy dinner and did bring a lot joy during a depressing situation.

If you know anyone that you would trust to hold the baby while you go through the line may also be an idea to entertain.

Sorry about your loss.

amberlynnr7 · September 2012

sam19:
How old was the nephew? My SIL lost her newborn recently and I wouldn't take my infant to something like that just because it could be painful for her to see a baby at such an emotional event but if the nephew was an older child then I don't think it would be a problem to take the baby. I'm sure you won't be there long and would leave if LO starts to get fussy.
nbsp;
ETA: Sorry I should have read the replies first. ;

I think it really depends on the family like she said. However, I don't think that it'd be horrible to bring a baby. The family will probably be really distracted anyway.

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