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May 2012 Moms
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Am I being unreasonable? Husband vent...

najzomaxnajzomax member
in May 2012 Moms

Nearly every day after work my husband comes home and wants to take a 2 or 3 hour nap. A lot of the time I wake him as I am putting dd to bed. I have told hi. I would be ok with a half hour or hour nap but that 3 hurs after being gone all day is just unreasonable. He feels he should be able take a three hour nap after working all day.

Part of the reason I am so bitter about it is that originally dd would sleep until 9 or 930 in the morning but he thought that we should be getting up with him so we started to wake her up at 7 when his alarm is set for and now she won't sleep past 730. On top of that, anytime I have taken a nap he complains that I didn't get any house work done. So I end up with a 12+ hour day and he gets to nap all night and then stay up late playing on his computer.

He also doesn't ever get up with us on the weekend.  We are up at 7 or 730 and he sleeps to 1030 or later. Even better, after getting to sleep in he still takes an afternoon nap!

 I am so frustrated.  Am I wrong for being upset about this?  

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Re: Am I being unreasonable? Husband vent...

  • jtenebackjteneback member
    No, your DH sounds totally self-centered.
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  • yepyepsmsyepyepsms member
    Not unreasonable at all. I would freak out on my husband with this and if it didn't change I would leave. Not saying that's what you should do, but what I would do.

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  • kgaunttkgauntt member
    That sounds terrible, I'm sorry you are dealing with that. You aren't being unreasonable at all...
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  • winter-shockwinter-shock member
    Your DH sounds like he needs a reality check! Also I would promptly stop waking baby up in the AM unless you actually HAVE to!
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  • melrrrmelrrr
    My questions:
    How old is he?
    What does he do?
    It seems like the younger guys are the ones who really need a reality check.

    I agree with PP that it might be worth exploring whether there is an underlying medical issue. Was he such a napper prebaby or is this a new development?

    I'm very sorry that you're having to deal with this.
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  • Suern9870Suern9870 member

    imagemelrrr:
    My questions: How old is he? What does he do? It seems like the younger guys are the ones who really need a reality check. I agree with PP that it might be worth exploring whether there is an underlying medical issue. Was he such a napper prebaby or is this a new development? I'm very sorry that you're having to deal with this.

     

    Ditto to all of this.  He sounds very young and immature. He'd rather be up at night on his computer than be with his family? He sounds like a teenager to me. You are absolutely not out of line to be upset.  

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  • lucylove619lucylove619 member
    That stinks. I don't know any adults who get to take 3 hour naps! I mean sure it would be nice, but at least in my world there's too much crap to get done. Unless there is a medical reason, why can't he just stay up after work and go to bed at a normal hour? I think evenings are family time, I'd be pissed if DH spent that time napping only to stay up by himself at night. You are not unreasonable at all. I'd have already put DD outside the bedroom door in her jumperoo with the volume on loud.
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  • HuskerBabyBHuskerBabyB
    No, you're not unreasonable at all. That crap wouldn't fly in my house everyday like that. I can understand it every now and then, but definitely not everyday. Time to have a come to Jesus talk with him and tell him to man up. 

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  • ayamcayamc member
    I would be beyond frustrated!  I can't believe him!
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  • MrsWPMrsWP member
    My DH wasn't quite as bad but he would get frustrated that he couldn't watch TV  or play video games in the evening because I was asking for him help.  I actually wrote out my schedule for him and then explained what he was doing during each of my scheduled "duties" all day.   It seemed to get the point across..  Now he gets that I work all day too and that if there is still work to be done when he gets home, then he needs to help with it so we BOTH have a chance to relax.  In fact,  the reason I'm able to get on here today is because he helped me get caught up this weekend!!!   Gotta love communication... sometimes, you just gotta bring it down to their level.
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  • Jess & DrewJess & Drew member

    "Part of the reason I am so bitter about it is that originally dd would sleep until 9 or 930 in the morning but he thought that we should be getting up with him so we started to wake her up at 7 when his alarm is set for and now she won't sleep past 730."

    Why does he dictate what time you and LO get up? He wants to come home and take 3 hour naps, play video games, and sleep away the weekend...yet you have get up when he feels you should and make sure the chores are done to his satisfaction?

    Oh no no that would not fly in our house.

    IMHO, what's good for the goose is good for the gander. His @ss should be realizing quite quickly that marriage and parenting is a 2 way street. DH doesn't ask me to do anything that he himself wouldn't be willing to do, and vice versa.

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  • bennysmommy717bennysmommy717
    The only person deserving of a nap is YOU!
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  • skooterblennyskooterblenny member

    Tell him he needs to work on a common schedule with you AND baby, not the computer / video games at night.

    5:30-come home, play with baby

    6pm - cook dinner with spouse's help, eat, chores, etc.

    8pm - bathtime for baby & read baby a book, put baby to bed

    9pm- internet / video game / computer time for 1 hr, then get ready for bed and spouse time. Chat about the day, etc.

     That's a pretty normal evening around here. Sometimes baby stays up until 10pm, but we all adjust. Nobody takes naps around here except the baby. good luck. 

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