VBAC
Options
Anxiety About Attempting a VBAC.
Hi Ladies. I've been here before talking about my VBAC hopes. I am now pregnant and I'll admit that my head is filled with emotions I didn't anticipate.
I am excited about trying for a VBAC, but scared that something will get in the way. Nervous after my OB practice said they wouldn't induce. Nervous that I must go into labor by my due date. Nervous that I'll develop gestational hypertension again (cause of failed induction) because I'm stressed about a c-section.
Successful VBAC-ers: How did you manage to stay calm about the whole thing and not....get your hopes up too much? What do you think is the best attitude to have? I know that sounds terrible, but hopefully it makes sense.
Any VBAC planners know what I mean??
Warning
No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Anxiety About Attempting a VBAC.
I feel the exact same way! My OB told me tha basically everything has to be perfect in order for me to attempt a VBAC. DD was 8lb15oz when she was born and he said that if this baby is that "big" again he won't let me VBAC.
He said he won't induce me and my BP has to stay down. At first I was really mad at what he said. I felt like he is not even giving me a chance. Then I thought, could I really emotionally handle having ANOTHER failed attempt at a vaginal delivery?
I have so many mixed emotions about this subject and I am really torn. The thought of having another c section makes me sad, but the thought at failing again makes me sad. I am also tired of people telling me, "well, you and your daughter are healthy and that is what is most important." My brain agrees with that logic, but my heart does not. I feel like it minimizes my feelings. I feel cheated. Angry. Sad. SO many other emotions.
I was watching the movie "What To Expect When You're Expecting" last night and I started bawling when all the women started giving birth, especially when one of them was told she had to have a c section. I thought I had come to terms with having a c section. I had forgiven my body. I am still BFing my nearly 19 month old and we have had no issues BFing at all. But since I became pg again, all these feelings are coming back and I hate it.
I haven't had a successful VBAC but I wanted to say that I feel the exact same way. I have gone back and forth on emotions/thoughts during this pregnancy. Before getting pregnant/until about 20 weeks I was dead set on a VBAC. Around 24 weeks I started getting nervous about it and thinking about a RCS. Here I am 36 weeks and I have no clue. I don't want to do the RCS but I am scared of attempting the VBAC and failing. I feel so much more stress this time around than I did with DD as I had no idea what to expect. This time I know what to expect.
I am worried that I am not a great VBAC candidate because I pushed for 2 hours and she was stuck in the birth canal. I find out today what position this baby is in and will discuss more with my doctor about my options. I worry that if I attempt a VBAC and it doesn't work that I will feel like I have failed again.
I was nervous the whole time, even in labor. I even sometimes secretly hoped that there would be a reason that I would be required to have a c/s so that I wouldn't have to worry about failing at VBAC.
What really helped me was to think about what would help me have the birth that I wanted whether it was a VBAC or c/s and to also be flexible. I wrote a birth plan for VBAC, which included no pain meds, and I ended up with the epidural. I also wrote a c/s birth plan that included things I wanted but didn't get from my first c/s, like skin to skin with baby, and things I had the first time and knew I didn't want, like sedatives after birth.
I did not have a "goal' of achieving VBAC so I woudlnt set myself up for disappointment. My goal was to be open to trying different things and to have no unanswered questions/what ifs at the end of it all. Luckily I got to VBAC as well but I think it took some pressure off to know that even if I didn't VBAC I was still going to have a better experience.
However, my midwives were willing to induce and also to let me go to 41w6d. That took a lot of stress off too, as I didn't feel like I was up against a deadline (which is part of the reason I think I had a c/s the first time).
I was really anxious at the beginning of my last pregnancy. I live in a small town and there is just one doctor who has to be available when you VBAC. I found out that I wouldn't meet with him until I was 30 weeks. He had to first approve the VBAC and then also be available around my due date. It was hard to go most of my pregnancy not even knowing if I would have a chance. They also would not induce a VBAC, but they would let me go until almost 42 weeks.
After stressing about it for a few weeks I realized that there was absolutely nothing I could do. I didn't want to ruin my pregnancy by stressing about it. I decided to plan on a VBAC, but be open to a c/s if things didn't work out. In the end I had the VBAC I hoped for.
I never got my hopes up. Obviously we're coming at this with different goals/expectations, but I wanted a vbac mostly because I felt that it was safest for me and my baby. If something was to change- a medical condition that meant c-section was safest- I would have been fine with another c-section. I never regretted my first c-section, even though I had planned a natural birth. I felt a c-section was needed and thus was the best option for us at the time, and was open to the possibility that might happen again. So there were no "hopes" for me. I was only against c-section as a matter of routine, the "once a c-section, always a c-section" mindset.
I stayed calm, I guess, by having supportive care providers (in my case, a midwife). There was never much talk about what if a vbac couldn't happen; we both knew a c-section was a possibility and I was prepared for that if it was the best decision, but it wasn't something we dwelled on. We took it as it came, planning for the best as I was low-risk, but accepting of the fact that something might change and a rcs might become the safest option. The midwifery practice didn't put down rules like "you must go into labour before your due-date" or any other artificial guidelines that would limit my chances.
I think having a supportive care provider is the most important part- and reading the above posts, it doesn't sound like there are that many truly supportive providers out there. Posts about "he won't let me have a vbac if x,y,z isn't met" make me really sad. I wish that there were more providers out there who encouraged their clients' chances of success instead of pressuring them to meet stringent and often arbitrary criteria, without which they'll be bullied into another c-section. It seems like much of the anxiety, judging from the above responses, is based on whether or not they'll be "allowed" to have a vbac, which isn't a factor with supportive care providers.
I did have a goal of VBAC, and I didn't know what I was going to do if I ended up with a RCS. I guess I figured I'd deal with it if it happened? Though I was more open to interventions during my labor (I planned med-free for both my births), and had decided beforehand that I'd get an epidural if it seemed like my labor or pushing was prolonged.
It helped me to list the things I could control, and the things I couldn't. I could stay active, labor upright, go to a supportive MW. I couldn't control how quick my labor was, or when it started, etc.
I agree that having a supportive provider really helped quell a lot of my fears, too. Whenever I asked about laboring (I pushed 4+ hours with my first before my c/s), my MW was always very confident that I was going to have a VBAC. She never had requirements for me, either, just because I was a VBAC.
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
I have a lot of anxiety about the unknown. After my c-section, I immediately assumed I would have a RCS with my second child. Mostly out of fear of the unknown - I never fully dilated with my DD so I didnt experience very much of labor. Once I educated myself, I began to consider VBAC. Especially since I want a third child and children will be pretty close together due to my age. But like a PP said, I was always willing to have a RCS if my doctor told me it was necessary. I wanted to try to VBAC but I was content to RCS if that was what happened. In my experience, you can't control what happens once labor starts. The first time I got a csection after dilating only 3 cms in 12 hours and my DD's heart rate started looking worrisome. The second time, I dilated beautifully and then my contractions died once it was time to push. The Dr covering my practice (who I had never met before) gave me pit but it didn't help. After 4 hours of pushing, DS was vacuumed. Not what I wanted but better than a RCS. I also had gestational hypertension and was very close to having a RCS Because of that but I went into labor before 39 weeks and got my VBAC. I am honestly so proud of myself because it was scary for me to labor and I did it. I never complained, I would have kept pushing if they let me. Anyway, I am rambling. Just keep an open mind and be ready to roll with what happens. Good luck!
DD born May 25, 2009. DS born June 16, 2011. BFP #3. 10/31/12 EDD July 8, 2013
I couldn't have written it better myself. I too watched "what to expect when expecting" the other night and a whirlwind of emotions came back to me that I thought I had forgotten about from that day. First- the joy and nervousness of knowing the baby will be delivered today, to the feeling of going through contractions, to the fact that some people have it easier and tougher than others. i.e the scene where she sneezed and they popped out- just like that. and finally to the scene where one needed to have a CS followed by the "She lost too much blood" scene My heart just SANK and stopped right there. I had to hold my tears back. I though, OMG...if she dies... no more kids for me. LOL. sad but true. My day was such a mix of crazy wild emotions I want to forget about. my poor husband.
I too have troubles speaking to some people who give the same response as you mentioned " well, you and your daughter are healthy and that is what is most important." clearly they haven't gone through it so they have no idea. It is one thing if you elect for a CS, it's a complete other thing when you have no choice.
Some days it makes me sad... and nervous for my next pregnancy. I have no idea what to think. I too don't want to have hypertention again. so who knows.