3yo wakes up every night to come into our room...

EmieK · September 2012

Our son wakes every single night to sleep in our bed. I have tried a sticker reward chart, and adding music/nightlight. No matter how many times I get him down in his own bed, he wakes up and comes in our room. Recently he has taken to crying fits and now wants to nap in our room.

He will not stay in his own bed. I don't want to put a gate up because I don't want him to feel like he can't go pee in the middle of the night (although he rarely does). I also don't really believe in locking him in his room. (Fine if it works for others, but not my choice.)

What worked for you? We are due with baby #2 soon, and I would love to have 3yo sleeping full time in his own bed.

TIA

Jim&Jaime · September 2012

What do you do when he comes into your room? Do you let him stay, or turn him around and take him back to his room?

Angela814 · September 2012

For us the only thing that worked was time. We tried all the reward charts, night lights, new bedding, etc. When DD2 was born, DD1 had to sleep on the couch in our room instead of in our bed, and yet she still kept waking to come into our room. She started STTN shortly after she turned 5 years. I don't know what changed, but apparently she was just ready then.

mrsseguin · September 2012

We went through a phase where DS would sleep in our bed all night long. We worked him out slowly. We started putting him to bed in his bed, then if he woke up he would come in with us. He sleeps through the night in his own bed, but if for some reason he wakes up, he still comes in our bed. It's a rare occasion now. We don't mind it once in a while, but every night was becoming a burden.

Ridgebackmom · September 2012

We are in the same baot...it's killing me.

RnMom2Be · September 2012

Don't give in...it's super hard, but when he comes in take him by the hand and lead him back to his own bed. Try not to talk or engage him in any way. You have to keep doing it over and over and over until they give up. It sucks, but it's the only way that worked for us too!

AmandaP678 · September 2012

We're in a similar boat. Tim wakes up most nights and wants me to go in his bed. Once he falls back to sleep I go back in my bed.

Jim&Jaime · September 2012

RnMom2Be:
Don't give in...it's super hard, but when he comes in take him by the hand and lead him back to his own bed. Try not to talk or engage him in any way. You have to keep doing it over and over and over until they give up. It sucks, but it's the only way that worked for us too!

This.

AZ123 · September 2012

We have certain rules associated with bed sleeping. DS1 can't come out of his room until after 7 a.m. (unless he has to pee but then he has to go back to bed). If he does, then he loses TV that day. Taking away something immediate or rewarding immediately seems to work better in our house than the reward charts.

When DS2 was born we did put a lock on DS1's door. We turned the door knob around so that it locked from the outside. I did this for safety reasons. I was worried that DS1 might go into the baby's room and do something like put a blanket on him or something (not intentional but I just didn't know). DS1 sat and watched DH turn the door and we explained the lock to him. He was fine with it and would just knock on the door when he needed to be let out and go to the bathroom. We only locked it for a week and then he never came out or if he did, he went straight to the bathroom and back to bed.

Jim&Jaime · September 2012

AZ123:
We have certain rules associated with bed sleeping. DS1 can't come out of his room until after 7 a.m. (unless he has to pee but then he has to go back to bed). If he does, then he loses TV that day. Taking away something immediate or rewarding immediately seems to work better in our house than the reward charts.

Your 4 year old can tell time?

KathrynMD · September 2012

Jim&Jaime:
AZ123:

We have certain rules associated with bed sleeping. DS1 can't come out of his room until after 7 a.m. (unless he has to pee but then he has to go back to bed). If he does, then he loses TV that day. Taking away something immediate or rewarding immediately seems to work better in our house than the reward charts.

Your 4 year old can tell time?

they have toddler "alarm" clocks

https://www.amazon.com/Wake-Childrens-Alarm-Clock-Nightlight/dp/B002RNKOM2

Jim&Jaime · September 2012

hocus:
Jim&Jaime:
AZ123:
We have certain rules associated with bed sleeping. DS1 can't come out of his room until after 7 a.m. (unless he has to pee but then he has to go back to bed). If he does, then he loses TV that day. Taking away something immediate or rewarding immediately seems to work better in our house than the reward charts.

Your 4 year old can tell time?
She probably has a toddler clock. It lights up when it hits a certain time.

Ahhh, gotcha. I was thinking, "Dang!"

Echowysp · September 2012

Same here. I don't fight it since his sister keeps me up. I read about compromising since some kids really desire to sleep near their parents and have them sleep next to your bed. Took a bit of reminders, but ds now knows he can come in, but to not wake me and to sleep on the nest of pillows I leave next to my side. Works like a charm. I'm sure he won't be doing it when he goes off to college.

VTbride05 · September 2012

Our son went through this phase too. We ignored it and it stopped. We would just not say anything, listen to what he wanted/needed to say and walk him back to him room. Keeping it low key and a non issue made it go away. GL!

brewcitybride · September 2012

We are going through this now. My husband hasn't slept in our bed from 3:30 - 6:30 a.m. in over a month! Because he marches her back up to her room, but then he falls asleep next to her. I would never gate my 3 year olds room. I am hoping she just grows out of it, as she just started doing this, and had been sleeping fine on her own in a big girl bed since she was 2. Usually when these things happen, there are bigger developmental things going on with them, and it shows up in their sleep habits. She also has been eating like twice as much lately, which must be a growth spurt. We shall see.

Angela814 · September 2012

Echowysp:
Same here. I don't fight it since his sister keeps me up. I read about compromising since some kids really desire to sleep near their parents and have them sleep next to your bed. Took a bit of reminders, but ds now knows he can come in, but to not wake me and to sleep on the nest of pillows I leave next to my side. Works like a charm. I'm sure he won't be doing it when he goes off to college.

This is how I feel. As long as it doesn't wake me up, I don't really care where DD sleeps.

rsd12 · September 2012

My middle son is like this. For a while, we just did not stop him, and it did get less frequent on its own. But now we do guide him back to his room and he tells us he woke up because he was dreaming... good or bad. It probably happens once every two weeks, if that now. He was really bad from 2 untill 4 yrs old.

I should add that it was never a huge issue to bed share with him and a newborn. Our youngest slept in our room for quite a while, and his cries never woke the middle one up... I was hoping so it would discourage him joining us.

anonsouthernbell · September 2012

Mine still cobeds

EmieK · September 2012

Thanks all! Good to hear 1, I am not alone in this, and 2, that others have figured it out.

When he wakes I bring him back to his room. However, currently my husband is deployed overseas, so by the 3rd or 4th time he is coming in, I am just really ready for sleep, so I give in. (Which I know defeats the purpose of trying to get him back, but when you do everything all day by yourself, sleep isn't just a luxury it's the only break I get. My DH will be home before baby comes so I am thinking I may wait until then and have backup.

As for sleeping with him for a bit and phasing myself out - at 30 weeks pregnant sleeping on the floor hurts.

I really appreciate all your feedback. Thank you!!

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