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Babies: 9 - 12 Months
would you react (ventish)
Unwanted advise/criticism... I CANT STAND IT !!!
We all do it sometimes but there are some limits..
My BIL lives w/ us and he has recently started dating this woman, She's nice and all but she always finds a way in conversation to "put me down as a mother" or say in so many words she wouldn't do things a certin way w/ her LO.
Example: One day she walked out of my BIL's room which is right by our dining room table.. We were eating dinner and I gave DD some Mac n Cheese.. She saw and said "Would I give my son Mac N Cheese at 10mo... NO" I said oh she has it all the time, She's fine w/ it.. I brushed that one off; all though it did bother me that she would just come out and say something like that when your a guest in MY house and I did nothing but say Hello to you..
Today she was here and we were talking about WIC.. I used to be on it but DH got a raise and we're no longer in the income limits.. Which is completely fine- we can afford formula.. I switched to Costco brand (Dr. recommended store brand) and she goes "Oh; is that why you switched to store brand.. I would never feed my kid that S**t"
I am just completely dumbfounded on how she has no filter on what comes out of her mouth and how completely RUDE it is to say something like that.. I just said that DD's been on it for months now and she doing fine w/ it.. What I really wanted to say was.. Yeah well I would smoke while holding my baby, I wouldnt be out all night going to bars and my BF's house while leaving my kids w/ an Uncle.. Every weekend.. I wouldnt do a lot of thing she does but would I ever say something like that to her... NO..
By all means what she says doesnt effect my parenting or make me feel like I'm doing something wrong.. I just dont know how to react to thing like this.. Random people will say things too that are just totally uncalled for and not wanted..
How would you or do you react to Random input or advise? I really just want to go off on everyone who steps to say something .. Last time I checked,I held her in my uterus for 9 months, I squeezed her out of my Vag. I wake up with her at night, I do EVERYTHING for her.. So who the F**K do you think you are to say something about how I Mother MY kid!!!
Vent over: Thanks
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Re: would you react (ventish)
In your situation, I unfortunately would probably stoop to her level and point out those things you mentioned about her. I would also speak to BIL and tell him I expect respect from any guests in my home.
Yeah he pays rent that's why I haven't said anything.. I almost dont want to say anything because I dont want to cause any tension.. I think I'm going to just have to ignore it and avoid her as much as possible...Maybe through some snarky remarks back at her..
It is so weird to me how opinionated people are toward you as a parent. I have to admit, I was opinionated about kids and stuff before I had one. Now I am most of the ways that I swore I would never be.
Anyway, it's hard to let it go sometimes. I'm dealing with it from my sister of all people. I'm getting her holier than thou attitude (but she's like that with most things), and at the moment we aren't speaking because of her "I just wouldn't let my kids play with some of the things you let yours play with" comment (a can of corn for god's sake)! Among many other comments. I think the people who are so pushy have issues going on with themselves and want to make you feel bad along with them. Why else would you say anything? There's 1000 ways to raise a kid, leave me alone to raise mine. They're not yours!
I'm sorry-it is annoying. What you wrote is exactly like my sister-in-law. I have a 5 year old and a smaller baby, and she just had her first 3 weeks ago. For 5 years I have been listening to her obnoxious comments-like how she was against vaccinations, how she was potty trained at 9 months old and it's about time my 3 year old is potty trained, etc. I can say I barely talk to her now. I talk to my BIL though because he's not like that. During her pregnancy, we heard about how she was going to try to go natural and labor at home as long as possible, no epi, water birth, etc. In the end, she got a epi by 3 cm and never left the bed. The baby is getting vaccinated. So, it is sooooo annoying listening to people like this, especially when they have no experience whatsoever. But I can say, it is satisfying watching them eat their words when they finally do have a child and their high and mighty child rearing ideals go out the window.
As far as your situation goes, I would talk to your brother about it. Maybe he can quiet her down a bit. After all, it is your house and she is a guest in it as is he.
Also, my MIL would get really upset at my SIL when she would say rude comments, and she learned that the best way to shut her up was to overly agree with her. Like "You're right. My baby will probably not thrive on the costco brand of formula. And she probably will choke to death on a macaroni noodle. What was I thinking????" It shuts them up pretty quickly. I just don't have the nerve to approach it that way. lol
Seriously. I would only bite my tongue so long before I said something along these. lines. I'd probably give her three strikes before I started fighting back.
Burned by the Bear
I would just say (as calmly and unemotional as possible) that I really don't appreciate your unsolicited and quite frankly rude comments about how I take care of my child. And then just go back to whatever it is that I was doing.
Do NOT fit in a few jabs. Be an adult and tell her that you do not want to hear her advice and that she is being rude. If she continues with her insults have a meeting with her and your BIL.