Super stressed

Esbi25 · September 2012

Hi ladies,

I have only posted a few times, but I've been stalking the board since last September. Well, I'm just hoping for some reassurance if maybe anyone else knows how I'm feeling. My LO was born May 18th and I've been fortunate enough to be home with him this whole time. Sadly, I'm supposed to go back to work in a week : my problem is that my LO literally hates being with anyone other than me. Ever since growing out of the nurse to sleep phase, he has become quite difficult to get to nap, but I've learned how to get him to since I'm always here with him. He also wasn't a fan of the bottle, but we've been working on it and I've been able to get him to adjust for me.

So, anyway, my mom is going to be my full time childcare so I have left him with her a few times now to help him adjust. But apparently he just screams and screams with her for periods of over an hour and then randomly calms down. But he won't take more than a few sips from the bottle for her and fights naps so hard she just set him down and checked on him while he screamed. Because of this, I attempted the Sleepeasy Solution last week for bedtime, but he screamed for an hr 15 min the first night and the second night he surpassed that time at which point I just wasn't comfortable with it anymore.

My mother is convinced he will fall asleep if he is crying and there is nothing she can do, but I'm very uneasy about it since that didn't even work for bedtime when he is really tired... I feel like if she tried harder he would sleep, but she claims she has tried everything. It doesn't help that she is very childish and it's very difficult to offer her advice without her getting defensive and she constantly interrupts me so I've barely ever finished a sentence around her. I now understand why my dad barely ever talks

Anyway I'm kind of rambling at this point, but I'm just wondering if anyone else has had a difficult transition to child care. My baby is like the sweetest guy with me, but when he gets mad he is not afraid to show it and he is persistent! I'm just so sad that I have to leave him when I know how happy he would be if I were always home with him :

kgauntt · September 2012

You need to talk to your mom and make sure you guys are on the same page. If she gets defensive about it - well - it's not her baby and she'll just have to deal. There's not much you can do besides talk to her and if you don't trust she is doing everything she can to soothe baby, then that's another story. Good luck!

bellelamb · September 2012

My middle so was awful at napping my mom watched him too. It took about a week and they got on their own schedule. Honestly it was harder on me than them. Remember your mother raised you she can take care of your child, at least that's what I kept saying when I was unsure.

Leaving is very hard but you will get though. Also my kids have the best bond with their grandma because she had so much one on one time with them. Also remember she loves your child too, so you know she will feel that and be ok.

Esbi25 · September 2012

Thanks, ladies. I'm trying to remember that it will take time and he will adjust. I know she managed to raise me, but she has admitted my LO is more fussy with her than I was and she is always reminding me I was a grumpy baby. He just is so happy when he gets to be with me that it makes me feel terrible that I have to leave him. It doesn't help that my sis has a one year old who my mom has babysat and she is always saying "well A does this and that" and I have to remind her babies are very different and A is VERY easygoing. She cannot expect P to have the exact same habits and patterns as A. Oh well. I guess we'll survive.

mysteriousmommy · September 2012

My babies hate to nap anywhere but home. What I did before I went back to work was I had my mom come here for a couple days to see how MH and I interacted with them to get them to sleep. Then I took the babies to her house for a couple days to help them get used to the new environment with me there. The other reason for this was to work with my mom on a way to recreate as much of the home atmosphere they are used to as possible. Dim room, noise machine, etc.They still have good and bad days, but it's better than it was at the beginning.

Good luck going back to work. It was a pretty hard thing to do, but you can do it.

picklesx · September 2012

mysteriousmommy:
My babies hate to nap anywhere but home.nbsp; What I did before I went back to work was I had my mom come here for a couple days to see how MH and I interacted with them to get them to sleep.nbsp; Then I took the babies to her house for a couple days to help them get used to the new environment with me there.nbsp; The other reason for this was to work with my mom on a way to recreate as much of the home atmosphere they are used to as possible.nbsp; Dim room, noise machine, etc.They still have good and bad days, but it's better than it was at the beginning.

This. My mom babysits only one day each week for us, but I have been bringing DS to my parents' house once or twice a week aside from the babysitting day so that DS can learn to be comfortable there and with my parents. He has a pack n play there that we have been placing him in to nap since he was a newborn and we visited and I bring his little white noise machine with us in the diaper bag whenever we go there for an extended period of time where he may nap. Hlit doesnt phase him when we go over there now but when we go to my inlaws' house he gets very fussy and cranky and does not want to be held by anyone but myself or DH and I honestly think it is because my inlaws rarely see him and they are like strangers to him.

Good luck.

bellelamb · September 2012

Also remember its good for our lo to be able to be with other people. Let us know how you do when you go back.

Esbi25 · September 2012

Will do. I'm just trying to savor every last day with my baby :

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