Baby Showers

Would you feel weird about this?

Originally, my MIL and SIL were planning a surprise shower for October 6th.

Recently someone spilled the beans that my sister (who lives very, very far from here) and my aunt also wanted throw me a shower for October 6th.  So my MIL and SIL cancelled their shower to let my sister and aunt have that date.  (Later my sister and aunt decided to change the date to October 13th, and at that point MIL and SIL had cancelled all plans, let go of the hall rental, etc for a local shower with my husband's family.)

But my sister and aunt suggested inviting all of the guests from MIL/SIL's list to the shower to make it one bigger event and include everyone.

The shower thrown by my sister and aunt is 2.5 hours from where we live and where all of my husband's family lives.  Practically no one from his family will be attending because obviously it is way too far away.

Now people keep telling myself and my husband, "I would have love to come to your shower, but it's too far" and having an awkward attitude about it...  Should I tell them that I certainly did not pick the location or the date or any of it?  Also, I am hoping that my MIL and SIL don't feel muscled out of having a shower with their family involved.

Do I say nothing?  Apologize to people with weird attitudes?  What would you do?  Huh?

pregnant

Re: Would you feel weird about this?

  • Well, I'll bet you that his family feels pretty muscled out of the way on this. They move their shower only to have your family not use the date. Then your family suggests one shower, but it's so far away that it's not convienent at all. 

    However, why did his mom agree to one shower?  I'd like to know more about that. 

    Regardless - based on what you wrote here, your family made some missteps here and I'm sure his family wonders why YOU are going along with it.  

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

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  • I wanted to clarify- I'm not blaming you.  I'm just saying that to your DH's family, YOU are the common denominator.  If they are upset/frustrated/confused, they are going to come ot you - not your mom or sister, who they probably don't know as well.

    For the fact MIL was planning a surprise shower, obviously you weren't in the know about some of this, at least at the start.  Your MIL could have said "no" to the date move, and she could have said "no" to a combined shower. 

    But, again, I also wonder what pressure they felt by your family.  Then to move it and then your family DOESN'T use that date..... not going to kid you, I have no doubt that your IL's are feeling a little miffed over this.

    It's not your fault, but you are the person his family is going to look at.  If you don't know how things played out, you might want to find out from YOUR family so that you can try and smooth things over and/or make sure something like this doesn't happen again. 

    OR maybe your DH can help out here and tell his mom "throw a shower anyhow" so that his family does have one locally to attend.....

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

  • imageEstwd2:
    While I can understand them feeling muscled out of the Oct 6th date, did they give you any reasons for why they cancelled the shower entirely? Unless that was the absolute only date that worked for the hostesses, I'm just confused as to why they think they cannot still plan a shower for their side of the family now.

    I was wondering about this too. I just wonder if it is still possible for there to be two showers instead of one big one that is inconvenient to DH's family. This way, no one is left out.

  • How would your family feel if the roles were reversed?  There you have it...they feel muscled out.  Hopefully your MIL and SIL will still have a shower for your DH's family.  It's ridiculous to expect them to travel 2 1/2 hours when they live near your MIL/SIL...kwim?
  • That was not fair for your sister and aunt to do that.  I understand that they want to have a shower for you close to them and your in-laws throw one close to them, but that was not the way to go about it.  I am having two showers since my family live about 3-4 hours away.  We are having one for family down near them and then a huge one for friends up here close to home on separate occasions.  They will both be Jack and Jill since we have a bunch of male and female relatives and friends and I want my husband to be involved.
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