Discipline help - SPD and language delay

Re: Discipline help - SPD and language delay

• Princess_Lily member

  September 2012

  Dangerous behaviors: running into the street, climbing everything (over baby gates, kitchen counters, dining room table), touching things that are hot.Your discipline is great at this age.  We have implimented time out at this point (1min. per the childs age), for things that he will continuiously touch (stove specifically).  After a few times in time out, he realized that things are 100% off limits.

  Daycare reports that he doesn't sleep well, doesn't sit still during circle time, doesn't do art projects or other things with the group. He is only in DC 6 hours/day, and we just started DC in June. I was a SAHM up until that point. I don't really want to switch him right now, but I will if it continues to be a problem. I'm tired of hearing negative reports about his not fitting in with the group every day.  We pulled DS from preschool prior to the dx, and I do understand how you feel, since DS had similar issues within the preschool.  I would suggest discussing the dx with the director of the school first.  Find out what methods he/she the school requires for your LO to remain in his/her school (a therapist to come in, etc.).  

  Isn't receptive to time out. He doesn't really fight it; he just sits in time out until the minute is up, and then goes back to the original behavior. I don't feel like he understands time out, or that his behavior is inappropriate. We've generally done redirection or showing/telling him the appropriate behavior up until this point, but that method seems to be less and less effective these days.  A lot of it has to do with his maturity level too, its curiousity mostly.  If he does the same unwanted behavior (stove touching), then you put him back into time out...find a place which will calm/soothe him, not have a feeling of punishment.  We chose his bedroom, we also renamed it "quiet time"...a time to calm down when our emotions are high and uncontrollable.  If all else fails, at this age, why not a babygate specifically in the kitchen area?

  Aggressive behavior. Not really sure about this one as it just started last week. He's been pushing kids that are smaller than him. It doesn't seem to really stem from anything in particular (taking a toy, etc.). When it happened last week, he just walked up to a little girl and pushed her down. I know I didn't handle the situation appropriately, I just picked him up and told him to be gentle to friends. Obviously, it didn't work because he went back and pushed her again. Since he's not very receptive to time out, I have no idea how to handle this if it continues to be an issue.  It also is a behavior which is present for children from 0-3.  What does the school do to encourage no biting, or teaching kids how not to bite? Also for us, the biting lessened once his communication skills increased (after he left school).

  He isn't very receptive to pain, so even if he gets hurt, he doesn't learn to avoid a particular behavior. He has already been to the ER twice for a head injury (diving off the back of the couch) and a sprained ankle (leaping off the top of a toddler slide at a friend's house). He was burned pretty badly on the stove at MILs and has been scratched in the face by our cats numerous times. We have babyproofed as much as possible and I watch him like a hawk, but I cannot remove all furniture from our home or completely avoid public places. I'm terrified that he will be seriously injured one day because 1) he doesn't listen (or understand) and/or (2) the desired outcome is worth the risk.  Could be Sensory related... this age was just hard for us too.  Hawk watching is pretty common at this age.

  Suggestions?  Make sure you get your mommy breaks in where you can...find good stress relievers too.  It could get very overwhelming.

   
  

    

   
  

  
  

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• kcisthebombdotcom member

  September 2012

  My son is older now, but when he was 1.5, he had significant receptive/expressive language delays as well as sensory processing issues. Here's some thoughts:

  1. Dangerous behaviors: running into the street, climbing everything (over baby gates, kitchen counters, dining room table), touching things that are hot. We've handled this by baby-proofing, keeping him busy and engaged, taking him to places he can climb and run around, and avoiding situations that are potentially dangerous. However, it is particularly problematic at other people's homes or in public. He hates the stroller and won't hold hands nicely, fights being carried, etc. We have to pretty much helicopter to make sure he stays safe, and he still gets hurt often. This is on par with the 1 1/2 year old age group regardless of delays/SN. You're on the right track here. Another idea--explain the rules of being out of the stroller. Let him down. If he does something undesireable, explain in simple words he can't do X. If he continues doing X, put him in the stroller even if he screams and carries on. Repeat this often and practice a lot. With time it gets better.
  2. Daycare reports that he doesn't sleep well, doesn't sit still during circle time, doesn't do art projects or other things with the group. He is only in DC 6 hours/day, and we just started DC in June. I was a SAHM up until that point. I don't really want to switch him right now, but I will if it continues to be a problem. I'm tired of hearing negative reports about his not fitting in with the group every day. That was my son initially in daycare but it got better with age as well as doing sensory activities prior to times where he was expected to be still. If you find out what activities are organizing to him and have them do that before times he's expected to sit still/rest, it will likely be easier for him to focus.
  3. Isn't receptive to time out. He doesn't really fight it; he just sits in time out until the minute is up, and then goes back to the original behavior. I don't feel like he understands time out, or that his behavior is inappropriate. We've generally done redirection or showing/telling him the appropriate behavior up until this point, but that method seems to be less and less effective these days. Time out is not age appropriate for 1.5 year olds, regardless of SN or not. The recommended age to start time outs is closer to 3. Positive discipline is something generally recommended by professionals. Tips on implementing it in your home specific to age can be found here: www.ahaparenting.com
  4. Aggressive behavior. Not really sure about this one as it just started last week. He's been pushing kids that are smaller than him. It doesn't seem to really stem from anything in particular (taking a toy, etc.). When it happened last week, he just walked up to a little girl and pushed her down. I know I didn't handle the situation appropriately, I just picked him up and told him to be gentle to friends. Obviously, it didn't work because he went back and pushed her again. Since he's not very receptive to time out, I have no idea how to handle this if it continues to be an issue. I find that getting to eye level with your child and explaining instructions in simple words of what you want out of them is most effective. Did you say be gentle and then illustrate what gentle is? He might have not got what you were trying to tell him. Something like "pushing hurts. No push" might be something to try. If he carries on, leave.
  5. He isn't very receptive to pain, so even if he gets hurt, he doesn't learn to avoid a particular behavior. He has already been to the ER twice for a head injury (diving off the back of the couch) and a sprained ankle (leaping off the top of a toddler slide at a friend's house). He was burned pretty badly on the stove at MILs and has been scratched in the face by our cats numerous times. We have babyproofed as much as possible and I watch him like a hawk, but I cannot remove all furniture from our home or completely avoid public places. I'm terrified that he will be seriously injured one day because 1) he doesn't listen (or understand) and/or (2) the desired outcome is worth the risk. No advice here unfortunately. My youngest also has some sensory issues and is minimally receptive to pain but she's still cautious. I would discuss with your OT some strategies for this.

  

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