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June 2012 Moms
jamiah18
member
Need some encouragement from working moms...a little long
jamiah18
member
So I go back to work oct. 15. Right now- that day is looming like a horrible black cloud. I cry every day thinking about it and when I get up to feed dd in the middle of the night, my mind starts to think about leaving her and I can't fall back asleep. She will be going to my moms 3x a week and my mil's 2x a week.
I have horrible anxiety about her going to my mil's for a few reasons. Basically just that she has my 3 year old nephew all the time and he is a brat with no discipline, and i have a feeling she is not going to respect my wishes as a parent. Fwiw- nephew has no bedtime, watches tv most of the day, eats junkfood constantly, and curses!!! My sil lives there too but is rarely home and when she is home, she is up in her room. I hope I'm wrong and things work out with dd going there. Don't get me wrong, I'm very grateful that she is kind enough to watch her for us, but if my nephew hurts her or if I feel things aren't working out, I will look at other childcare options. Dh doesn't exactly see things the way I do when it comes to his mom so I can only assume that will cause problems between us if that were to happen.
Dd is ebf and for some reason, quit taking a bottle 6 weeks ago. We've tried so many different bottle/nipple combinations, positions, etc. to get her to take the bottle and she just won't. This has my mom and I super upset. My mom has even said that if she would get better at taking a bottle, she would have no problems taking her 5 days a week but its too taxing on her, which I don't blame her.
And overall, the thought of leaving her SICKENS me. She is a wonderfully happy and fun baby and I can't stand the thought of missing out on things she does throughout the day. I teach so its not an option to return part time.
I'm really considering taking some extra unpaid leave time (right now I'm just using sick time) but even then I eventually need to go back to work and could use any encouragement. Thanks ladies for letting me vent.
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Re: Need some encouragement from working moms...a little long
I teach first grade. This is my second baby. My first is 2.
Leaving my first was very hard but with teaching you are so busy all day and it keeps you from thinking too much about it.
I would say the first month was hard but it gets better. DD1 loves her babysitter and sometimes does not want to go home.
She will eventually get into taking the bottle when she sees that you are not there and gets hungry enough.
HUGS.
I went back to work when DS was 8 weeks old, and I dreaded it beforehand, but taking unpaid leave wasn't an option, as my husband just graduated and only started working at the end of July. My mom comes over to our house and watches DS all day, and so I knew beforehand it was going to be a good arrangement, but it still wasn't easy.
The first day was the hardest, and I cried on my way to work. After that? Smooth sailing. DS is well cared for by someone who loves him, and that matters the most. It's not easy leaving the house in the morning and I long for the weekends, but I also enjoy my career a lot. And when he's having a fussy day, it's a lot easier to trot off to work, lol.
You have another month for your baby to start taking a bottle again, and if she won't by then, maybe try a cup instead. In the meantime, enjoy the time you have with her. Don't borrow trouble by worrying about what might happen with your MIL or baby taking a bottle - cross those bridges when you get to them.
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It's definitely hard transitioning back to work : (
I cried a lot the day before I had to go back. The first few days were very hard. I have an hour commute, so I only get to see DD for about 2 hours before she goes to sleep at night. It does get easier though, and it makes me appreciate all the time I have with her on the weekends and my off days. As for missing out on her firsts, one woman on the working moms board said something that I really like. She said, as far as I'm concerned, the first time I see LO do it IS the first time. That's how I try to look at it.
Cry when you need to cry, and just know that it sucks at first but it does get easier.
My baby stpped taking a bottle at 2 months (1 month before I went back to work). It was a struggle for DS and DH. We took bottles of milk to daycare and wished them luck. He has done way better with the bottle during th 3 weeks he's been at daycare, and DH now has an easier time. If they are hungry, they will eat. DS also eats more during our evening nursing sessions if he didn't eat well from the bottle. I stressed about this a lot and cried over it, but it turned out just fine! Just continue to try a bottle a few times a week until you return to work.
I know how you feel. I dreaded going back to work and cried almost everyday for the month before I went back and kept thinking that I was going to be abandoning my baby. I balled like a baby the first day dropping her off and whenever I would talk/think about her during the day. But then I got home and picked her up and squeeze her to death and it was like I never went to work. My advise....live for the moment, enjoy everything from the laughter, crying, sleeping and dirty dipers. I am lucky enough to have my mother watching her everyday and be able to go back part time right now but soon I will have to go back full time and I just try to remember that working is making me a good mommy because I am supporting my baby. I used to hate when people would tell me it gets easier....but it is true. It does get easier and it becomes enjoyable too (providing u like your job). I find that going to work is the only time my mind actually works. When I am with DD I forget things that I normally wouldnt because I am just focused on her.
Anyway you will get through it...just try not to stress and enjoy the lo as much as possible. As far as the MIL....do what you feel is right. See how it goes and if you dont feel it is the best for your baby dont leave her there....trust your gut!
Jamiah! Girl, you got to slow your roll! You still have three full weeks left with that sweet little bundle: try to focus on the present as much as you can. In my experience dread of impending situations can often be worse than the experience itself. Try to enjoy the time you have now and limit the worrying as much as you can...
That said, I am sure it will be hard to leave her! It seems like there are several complicating factors that are making you nervous- the bottle, your MIL, your nephew... do you think that it would be a possibility to leave her with your mom 5 days a week for just the first month or so? Until you feel more comfortable with leaving her, and she gets a little bigger and sturdier? Then you could face the MIL/nephew issue?
Another question-- if you are taking a bit of unpaid leave, could you swing staying out of school until after Thanksgiving or Xmas break? That might be a more natural time for you to go back and would buy you a lot of time.
Whatever you decide, know that you are a wonderful mom and I am sure your DD will be OK. You are a thoughtful and capable person, so if a problem arises with your childcare situation I know you will be able to deal with it. xo!
Jamiah! Girl, you got to slow your roll! You still have three full weeks left with that sweet little bundle: try to focus on the present as much as you can. In my experience dread of impending situations can often be worse than the experience itself. Try to enjoy the time you have now and limit the worrying as much as you can...
That said, I am sure it will be hard to leave her! It seems like there are several complicating factors that are making you nervous- the bottle, your MIL, your nephew... do you think that it would be a possibility to leave her with your mom 5 days a week for just the first month or so? Until you feel more comfortable with leaving her, and she gets a little bigger and sturdier? Then you could face the MIL/nephew issue?
Another question-- if you are taking a bit of unpaid leave, could you swing staying out of school until after Thanksgiving or Xmas break? That might be a more natural time for you to go back and would buy you a lot of time.
Whatever you decide, know that you are a wonderful mom and I am sure your DD will be OK. You are a thoughtful and capable person, so if a problem arises with your childcare situation I know you will be able to deal with it. xo!