Does your DH/SO go to appts with you?

suzie711 · September 2012

I am feeling kind of 'alone' since DH didn't go to my first 2 appts with me for our FET cycle. He is going to try to make it to a couple appts (hopefully the embryo transfer for sure). I hate feeling like this is all on me..do your SOs go to appts?

74dragonfly · September 2012

There are so many appointments and we both work so he only goes when he is needed.

jeannaqueena · September 2012

Our RE is a 55min drive. I am a SAHM and DH works, I get someone to watch DS whenever possible, but actually my son has gone to more appointments than my DH

We can't make it make sense for him to drive all that way for what is usually a 15 minute u/s monitoring appointment.

efhoping2010 · September 2012

No, I wish he could but his work is very inflexible and he works 1.5 hours from home and the RE is another 1.5 hours from there. Last time he only came to transfer and the u/s at 7 weeks.

gault530 · September 2012

Nope. He works an hour away from the office and they're usually on a weekday morning. He will take dd to school while I go to the appt. He did one monitoring appt when I was cycling and that was on a Saturday. I have b/w tomorrow and I'm sure he won't go. It doesn't bother me most days. When I was on bcp and lupron apparently it bothered me because I got into it with him and told him all he had to do was masturbate. Poor guy!

ETA: DH will be there for the ET and the day of bedrest after. I figure he should be in the room when I do get pregnant!

kendra316 · September 2012

He does when he can. But if he's not working, he's staying home with DS. My morning monitoring appts are between 645-8am, so I try not to wake DS if I can help it.

Im actually my first IUI alone with month bc he'll be away on business.

AprilDrew04 · September 2012

I do daycare in my home and all my appointments are during the day when I have kids. DH is my back-up care provider. So when I have appointments, he takes time off from his job to cover mine.

I really wanted him to come to the initial consult appointment, and he couldn't which bothered me...but all the other appointments I have had I was okay going by myself.

However, I do understand the feeling of doing this alone. They have a lot less responsibility when it comes to many fertility treatments and it leaves us feeling like we are doing everything ourselves. Just remind yourself he's doing what he can and talk to him about what you are doing at each appointment.

AprilDrew04 · September 2012

I also wanted to add that if we were doing FET I would think he should be there for the transfer day. I would also prefer he be there for the IUI appointments (figure it would be nice if we were at least in the same room when we conceive), but it just doesn't work...plus who knows how many cycles this may take for us.

flows912 · September 2012

With DS, MH only went to the initial appointment, our IUIs and our ultrasounds once we got our BFP. All the other morning monitoring appointments I went to myself.

It will probably be similar this time around too although he would probably just come to the first ultrasound so he can watch DS.

queenbone · September 2012

jeannaqueena:
Our RE is a 55min drive. I am a SAHM and DH works, I get someone to watch DS whenever possible, but actually my son has gone to more appointments than my DH
We can't make it make sense for him to drive all that way for what is usually a 15 minute u/s monitoring appointment.

This is me too. If I can get a monitoring apt early enough, then DH will ride there with us and stay in the car with the boys/go to a coffee shop while I go in. So far I have only done TI. I think for an IUI or ET I'd want him to be in the room too.

But he makes a lot of money so I don't like to ask him to take too much time away from making billable hours. With that said, I do get annoyed when he doesn't ask for updates after an apt. This shouldn't all be on me and if he isn't on top of what I have going on then I feel alone and angry.

jeannaqueena · September 2012

queenbone:
jeannaqueena:
Our RE is a 55min drive. I am a SAHM and DH works, I get someone to watch DS whenever possible, but actually my son has gone to more appointments than my DH
We can't make it make sense for him to drive all that way for what is usually a 15 minute u/s monitoring appointment.
This is me too. If I can get a monitoring apt early enough, then DH will ride there with us and stay in the car with the boys/go to a coffee shop while I go in. So far I have only done TI. I think for an IUI or ET I'd want him to be in the room too.
But he makes a lot of money so I don't like to ask him to take too much time away from making billable hours. With that said, I do get annoyed when he doesn't ask for updates after an apt. This shouldn't all be on me and if he isn't on top of what I have going on then I feel alone and angry.

ugh! DH forgets to ask updates too! Yesterday, (1 week from trigger shot) I told him I NEEDED him to get home. He did get home running in the door asking if we were PG?? Ummmm shouldn't he know by now all about the 2ww, it was only 1 week past trigger not ovulation......it truly is all on us.

ChiTown Bridget · September 2012

KKDRAGONFLY:
There are so many appointments and we both work so he only goes when he is needed.

Pretty much this

LaineyPaney · September 2012

My Hubby doesn't go to all of them. He goes to the ones where he is needed. Blood draws, sonograms for my follicle checks... No.

Does your DH/SO go to appts with you?

Re: Does your DH/SO go to appts with you?

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