Pushy mommy advice... Ugh.

kayliesings · September 2012

Anybody else encountering people who think they wrote the damn book on pregnancy and babies and birthing? Ugh... I know they mean well but yikes...

MizMess · September 2012

I have learned to stop even talking about babies, childrearing, anything - I'm sick of being told "you'll see when the baby gets here," or even worse, plain old "you'll see." Which is funny, because I am careful to avoid making sweeping pronouncements or saying anything that could be perceived as a criticism of whoever I'm talking to. Recently I got this smug "you'll see" stuff from a mother of a 3-month-old, when we were talking about teenagers - an age group I taught for years. Apparently, having a 3-month-old suddenly makes you an expert on children of all ages and entitles you to be condescending about it. I try to just laugh it off and make a mental note not to treat newly pregnant women like that.

smurf605 · September 2012

After I had my DS, I said to my husband that I was expecting labor to be much worse based on the horror stories. I'm not saying labor was a walk in the park, but it wasn't nearly as bad as I expected. My DH said that woman secretly hate each other and that's why they share such horror stories. That certainly made me laugh!

carig63 · September 2012

It will only get worse.

Just remember this after your LO is born. I received so much unsolicited advice that I got really good at a fake smile. Just smile, nod, and say "that's interesting" and go on with what you're doing. Everyone's an expert!

jinnymb · September 2012

OOOh you just wait, it gets worse, lol KIDDING..

Just tell them to send you an email with all their thoughts. That way you don't have to hear it, and if they have useful info then you have it so you don't forget.

I still get advice and I'm on my third kid!

melsavage · September 2012

Ugh yes mostly at work! This one woman has become my shadow! I don't even mention the pregnancy anymore but she's always asking questions and making comments. When I mentioned that I felt my tummy getting firmer she goes "oh I don't know about that. It's too soon." Didn't realize she knew my body better then me! It's so annoying

lynn3yb00 · September 2012

I have been hearing this at least once a day and I have been pretty good about smiling and saying "I guess I will see" and not really wanting to snap at the moms about it, except for 2 specific people that have tried giving me parenting advice.

One is my stepbrother, 24, no job, 3 kids, lives with my dad & stepmom and pays no bills and does no chores, as well as never doing ANYTHING for his daughters (I know for a fact because I did everything for his oldest 2 daughters for 3 yrs) and tried to tell me how hard it is to do the basics for them and that I'd never be able to handle doing that stuff for a baby while DH is working full time; except I did all of that for 2 of his children when they were infants and toddlers singlehandedly.

The other was DH's best friend's daughter, who is 20 with a 1yr old son that she does nothing for, and she spends her check on herself and doesn't even buy her son diapers (and his dad isn't in their lives). She tried to tell us that we will end up giving our baby up for adoption because we won't be able to handle being parents. I nodded, grabbed my stuff and said goodbye to everyone except her, and walked out to the car before I opened my mouth. DH just smiled at me and said he would pay to see me punch her (him and his friend have been betting on how long it takes since I met her for me to punch her anyways).

bndaidbuny414 · September 2012

I love my best friend dearly, but she is driving me crazy with all this!

She's neither pregnant, nor has kids. When I was probably about 9 or 10 weeks, I mentioned to her that hubby said I looked very pregnant that day. She started going on and on about how the baby isn't big enough for me to show yet and I won't start showing til I'm at least 3 months.

Last weekend I was visiting with her and she asked if I was eating healthy and I said not really like I should. She asked if I was exercising, and I said no, and she started lecturing me about how I'm going to gain a ton of non-baby weight and I have to start exercising. I'm chalking it up to her being in super training mode for a body building bikini competition she has coming up, but it still irked me.

ann_jeremiah · September 2012

With my first pregnancy... Yes... This pregnancy not so much.

Sarai28 · September 2012

When I was pregnant with DS- closer to the end, I got soooo tired of people saying what a big baby I was going to have! It's so rude and I was scared enough of labor. I also got tired of random people telling me what I needed to do go induce labor- ex. waking, stairs, etc. I walked a ton with him and still had to be induced. The worst one was the day before I was to be induced, a parent of one of my preschoolers kept telling me how much more painful labor and contractions are when they induce you. I went home in tears that day! I guess you just have to let things roll off your shoulders.

shibby00 · September 2012

OP you are going to have to learn to nod, smile, and ignore. The advice giving is not going to stop anytime soon.

epona3 · September 2012

melsavage:
Ugh yes mostly at work! This one woman has become my shadow! I don't even mention the pregnancy anymore but she's always asking questions and making comments. When I mentioned that I felt my tummy getting firmer she goes "oh I don't know about that. It's too soon." Didn't realize she knew my body better then me! It's so annoying

Isn't that irritating? I teach HS, and I have students that like to give me advice. One of them told me I couldn't play bocce ball, and that it was too early to be having food cravings. I told her I didn't realize she had already obtained her medical degree... Ugh! At least they're teenagers and I don't expect them to have social skills. I'd really be irritated by adults saying stupid stuff like that!

VPGIRL06 · September 2012

I try to glean a little bit of information from everything peopel tell me but yes...I tend to tune them out after awhile. Everyone has their own experience and don't seem to realize every birth/pregnancy is unique...

Anne Mommy · September 2012

My SIL gave me a big lecture about breastfeeding DS when he was little. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for breastfeeding but you don't have to lecture me. She was throwing a fit because I saved the samples of formula that I got. I simply told her that I wanted to have them in case we needed them. If not, I would give them away. The lecture continued whenever I saw her until DS was 1 yr. To make it even better, her son is formula fed.

shellyamf · September 2012

melsavage:
Ugh yes mostly at work! This one woman has become my shadow! I don't even mention the pregnancy anymore but she's always asking questions and making comments. When I mentioned that I felt my tummy getting firmer she goes "oh I don't know about that. It's too soon." Didn't realize she knew my body better then me! It's so annoying

My SIL who lives near me is probably the worst at handing out unsolicited advice. True, she has two children, and I try to listen, smile and nod. But it really irritates me when asked how I'm feeling to have her reply be "oh I don't know about that. It's too soon." I'm tired of having every decision DH and I make questioned, so we just quit telling her. She's not happy about it, but we are.

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