Has anyone been offered a shower yet?

Shel79 · September 2012

I'm just curious. . . has anyone been offered a baby shower yet? Showers obviously don't happen until much later in pregnancy, but when is it typical to offer a shower for someone? I've had showers for two of my friends/family, and I offered to throw them as soon as I found out they were pregnant. Thoughts?

cvl105 · September 2012

My Mom and MIL threw mine...I don't know that they ever offered. It was just kinda assumed that they would do it. We didn't really talk about it till much later on. I would imagine most people wait until after the first trimester to really start making plans/talking about it.

NativeFloridian · September 2012

I didn't think I was having a shower at all with my first, it was a surprise. For my second, my best friend offered as soon as she found out I was KU, and MIL asked me about it when I was late into 2nd Tri but I refused. BFF already offered again this time, and I refused again (but she'll probably be a sneak and do it anyway). Anyway, my point is that I don't think there's a typical time, I think it's kind of random and depends on your friends/family. In my circle, it's almost always a surprise.

farmerpinky · September 2012

Posted this in baby showers. Would love you all to weigh in:

I have 3 children already. My youngest will be 9.5 when #4 arrives.

While we no longer have baby stuff, I wasn't expecting a shower or sprinkle because it's considered tacky. I had a shower with my first and it was lovely.

The children's minister at the church H works for is going insane. She's talking with the other women my age about how awesome the shower wants to host will be, etc. She is super happy for us because this baby has been longed for and prayed over for years.

Is it worse to ask that she not make a big deal about this or to let her go on with her plan. It's not that I'm ungrateful, I just don't know if this is appropriate. I'm seemingly in a social no win here.

How would you handle the situation?

cvl105 · September 2012

farmerpinky:
Posted this in baby showers? Would love you all to weigh in:

I have 3 children already. My youngest will be 9.5 when #4 arrives.
While we no longer have baby stuff, I wasn't expecting a shower or sprinkle because it's considered tacky. I had a shower with my first and it was lovely.
The children's minister at the church H works for is going insane. She's talking with the other women my age about how awesome the shower wants to host will be, etc. She is super happy for us because this baby has been longed for and prayed over for years.
Is it worse to ask that she not make a big deal about this or to let her go on with her plan. It's not that I'm ungrateful, I just don't know if this is appropriate. I'm seemingly in a social no win here.
How would you handle the situation?

I only think it's tacky if you expect it or ask for it...if someone wants to throw a shower for you, I say let them!

JenW3611 · September 2012

The day we announced, Mother in law (after she stopped jumping around the kitchen in joy) offered to have it at her house. lol

Best friend did the same thing the day she found out.

mrshall10210 · September 2012

cvl105:
farmerpinky:

Posted this in baby showers? Would love you all to weigh in:

I have 3 children already. My youngest will be 9.5 when #4 arrives.

While we no longer have baby stuff, I wasn't expecting a shower or sprinkle because it's considered tacky. I had a shower with my first and it was lovely.

The children's minister at the church H works for is going insane. She's talking with the other women my age about how awesome the shower wants to host will be, etc. She is super happy for us because this baby has been longed for and prayed over for years.

Is it worse to ask that she not make a big deal about this or to let her go on with her plan. It's not that I'm ungrateful, I just don't know if this is appropriate. I'm seemingly in a social no win here.

How would you handle the situation?

I only think it's tacky if you expect it or ask for it...if someone wants to throw a shower for you, I say let them!

I agree! Especially since it's been so long since you've had a baby. It's not like you still have everything you need. If someone wants to throw you a shower, I don't think it's at all inappropriate for you to accept.

merebebe · September 2012

Last time my MIL and SIL mentioned it as soon as we told them. This being our second, I don't know what to expect. No one has offered my SIL a shower for #2 that I know of, so I don't think they do that in this family.

Jen727BF · September 2012

Let them throw it for you! It is not tacky in the least bit.

Ann003 · September 2012

My sister and good friend offered to throw showers once I told them I was pregnant. My MIL offered last week when I mentioned the shower my sister wants to throw in California (where the majority of my family is).

KrisM86 · September 2012

When I was pregnant with DD, my mom and sister threw my shower. It didn't come up at all until around 16 weeks or so. MIL also threw me one, but didn't bring it up until after 20 weeks.

sbonnie · September 2012

my step-mom and bestie have already been chatting and talking dates haha. They're obviously waiting to purchase or formalize anything, but they're both super excited and wanted to chat dates because my bestest is due Mar 1!

tinychefjackson · September 2012

This is my second baby, so I am surprised I have been offered two showers/sprinkles. The first is from DH's family, the second is from my coworkers.

I will probably politely suggest that my coworkers concentrate on showering the two first-time, single moms who have recently announced (since my "shower" was offered-- which I tried to decline, BTW). They are due two weeks after me.

MrsP7309 · September 2012

My mom and SIL have both brought up the shower already. We're thinking early March when my sister is home on break.

arteri · September 2012

I have this great fear that my stepmom isn't going to offer. My mom is deceased and my sister and I don't speak. I wouldn't ask any of my BFFs to tackle the burden or expense of throwing me a shower. I just hope she suggests it at some point. She and my father were married later in life and us kids were all adults, some with kids already. This is the first time it has come up and I don't know what to expect. I have already decided that worse comes to worse, I am going to throw my own with BFFs help.

mypalbabs · September 2012

farmerpinky:
Posted this in baby showers. Would love you all to weigh in:

I have 3 children already. My youngest will be 9.5 when #4 arrives.
While we no longer have baby stuff, I wasn't expecting a shower or sprinkle because it's considered tacky. I had a shower with my first and it was lovely.
The children's minister at the church H works for is going insane. She's talking with the other women my age about how awesome the shower wants to host will be, etc. She is super happy for us because this baby has been longed for and prayed over for years.
Is it worse to ask that she not make a big deal about this or to let her go on with her plan. It's not that I'm ungrateful, I just don't know if this is appropriate. I'm seemingly in a social no win here.
How would you handle the situation?

If ALL church members are given a shower for EACH pregnancy, I think it's fine. But if that is not your church's tradition, you need to tread lightly to avoid both bad etiquette and the appearance of favoritism.

mypalbabs · September 2012

Each of our offices has already talked about a shower, which is kind of awesome.

erinph · September 2012

A good friend from work has already offered to throw me one, and another friend is going to partner with her.

kara1204 · September 2012

farmerpinky:
Posted this in baby showers. Would love you all to weigh in:

I have 3 children already. My youngest will be 9.5 when #4 arrives.
While we no longer have baby stuff, I wasn't expecting a shower or sprinkle because it's considered tacky. I had a shower with my first and it was lovely.
The children's minister at the church H works for is going insane. She's talking with the other women my age about how awesome the shower wants to host will be, etc. She is super happy for us because this baby has been longed for and prayed over for years.
Is it worse to ask that she not make a big deal about this or to let her go on with her plan. It's not that I'm ungrateful, I just don't know if this is appropriate. I'm seemingly in a social no win here.
How would you handle the situation?

I don't think its tacky considering the age difference of your children. Go for it! My DD is 18m so I will not be having one, my mom wants to but I said no. But again, if my dd was 9.5 I would go for it!

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