- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Baby Showers
Grandma shower??
Hi ladies! I am a frequent lurker coming out of lurkdom to get some of your thoughts, you always have good advice! I have been recently invited to a "grandma shower". The invite says to come and bring a gift for both grandmas. I have never heard of a grandma shower before, so I was wondering if you have heard of them. I'm assuming its kind of tacky, and it makes me feel uncomfortable because I have no idea what kind of gifts to bring! I should add that I feel I need to go because this is a really good friend of mine that's having the baby, and I'm close to her mother also. Her MIL is mostly just an acquaintance. A mutual family friend is hosting the party.
So to sum it up, have you heard of a grandma shower, and what kind of gifts would you bring? I plan on going to my friend's actual baby shower in a couple months, so I don't really want to go too expensive. Thoughts?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Grandma shower??
No matter how nice the Grandmas are, it's an attention-grabbing thing to have a so-called Grandma shower. Especially since the actual Mom-to-be's shower isn't until much later.
Honestly, I wouldn't be able to bring myself to attend. What are they going to do, play "Guess how big her daughter-in-law's belly will get" or something?
Just claim a prior commitment. If you're super-close with your friend's Mom, how about just taking her to lunch someday?
I've heard of them In the context of THEIR friends holding one for their group. But this? Tacky. You're being asked to buy TWO more gifts. Rude.
Honestly, I wouldn't go but I'd perhaps take her mom a little gift at another time.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I've never heard of this. I don't like how it sounds, but I don't have any advice on the matter outside my own opinion. IMO it sounds TACKY and I wouldn't attend.
Again, I've never heard of these and am just basing that off the info in the OP.
Henry Cavill...You're welcome!
BFP #3: EDD 1/10/13 **DS born 12/30/12!!!**
BFP #2: MC 7/2/11 @ 12 weeks
**Missing our February '12 LoveBug**
BFP #1: MMC discovered on 12/6/10
All of this.
Grandma shower? Really? Is this is a thing now? o.O
I would decline. I can't imagine what they're expecting to receive in the way of gifts. Baby-themed items should go to the mother-to-be, not her mom and MIL -- even if the grandmothers-to-be will be providing regular childcare for the baby, outfitting them with baby gear or supplies isn't their friends' responsibility. And grandparent-themed gifts should come from the grandchildren (even if the parents pick out the gifts), shouldn't they?
I have heard of this before and I think it's a terrible idea. The grandmas to be are nothing in the grand scheme of things. I wouldn't go. I think it is super tacky and rude to ask people to come to a party with two gifts just because someone is going to be a grandmother. If I were the grandma to be I would have refused to let the party happen!
If you must go maybe get them each a plant or something.
Yikes this made me cringe!
I agree with PP's... it sounds really tacky and I'd just get her mom something nice and "grandma" related like a picture frame or something and give it to her another time.
Okay, so you said you are probably going no matter what? If so, I would get each grandma a very, very inexpensive item baby could use at their house. I'm assuming that's what these showers are for, although I have never heard of one before except on the bump. So, get like a $5 or less toy for each. Or a little Golden Book or Bearnstein Bears book (for like $1 a piece).
I wouldn't blame you for skipping it, but if you choose to go I think these gifts are plenty.
This is exactly why I feel uncomfortable with it! I have no idea of an "appropriate" gift for something like this. No matter what I would get them I feel like it should be a gift for the parents-to-be, not the grandparents.
Thanks for all the advice! I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks this is a little weird and tacky. If they were anyone else I wouldn't consider going, but they are long time family friends and most of my circle of friends plan on going, so it makes me feel socially obligated, if that makes sense. Someone suggested books, so I might get a couple really small books and call it good. I'll post an update and let you know how it went! I hope it isn't too awkward...
I have heard of a Grandma shower and have actually gone to two of them. One was for a Grandma who was going to be watching the baby all week while the parents worked. She didn't get anything big like a PNP or highchair but she did get diapers, wipes, a couple of blankets and a booster seat (that can double as a high chair). She also got a nice stroller and a seat base so the baby's carseat can go in her car. She was a friend of mine and actually only friends were there...no family and no MTB. I went to another one that was very small (about 8 people - friends). MTB wasn't there either. She hadn't planned to be watching the granddaughter but she ended up doing so. She got a few toys (like plastic tea set, etc), photo albums, and things like that. Both of these were held after the MTB had her shower(s) and none of the people went to the other shower(s) that I know of. We weren't friends with the MTB's (those of us that went to these parties).
I personally don't have a problem with some friends getting the grandma-to-be some things that she can use when the grandchild comes to visit. It is all in good fun. I don't remember if either of them were actually called "showers" though.
I think my mom's Bunco group is planning one of these for her but they are very close to one another and it is their idea. A group of twelve ladies. They want to have an excuse to buy baby things and spoil her. She is really great about helping them all out with things because she is retired. I got an e-mail a few weeks ago asking if I thought she would like this and if I was ok with it.
I am of course ok with it if they want to do it but I did decline to give them any more addresses for her friends. I told them that I thought it was best to keep it with just the Bunco ladies. I think it is nice if it is kept small and it is a group of ladies that agrees to a suprise party like this. But sending out invites and requesting a gift for both grandmas is extremely tacky. Ugh. I wouldn't go.
I have heard of this (on the Bump only) as something the grandmother's friends do- these are people that wouldn't be going to the baby shower and want to celebrate with their friend/have a good reason to go buy cute baby stuff.
Inviting someone that you KNOW is already invited to the MTB's shower, and is primarily a friend of the MTB, is incredibly gift-grabby IMO. Even worse is asking you to bring TWO presents! I would personally steer clear.
Since it sounds like you feel obligated to go, I would purchase VERY small and inexpensive gifts. Maybe a small gift bag with travel size baby toiletries or a pack of wipes and some diaper cream for them to use when they're babysitting, or a small toy/book as PPs mentioned.
If they think both grandmas are getting full-on baby gear for babysitting, they are INSANE! Sorry about all the caps, but this is one of the worst things I've heard!
Ridiculous.
But agree with some of the comments above that I've heard of this KIND OF for the grandma's friends to get together and throw their friend a little party. But the fact that you are invited is ridiculous. My MIL's friends threw her a mother of the bride kind of party before she flew in for our wedding. It was like a bachelorette party for her? I'm still confused but these are women who throw parties for everything under the sun so of course she was excited (and I'm pretty sure expecting it). I wouldn't doubt for a second that she would also expect one of these haha.
::Lurker::
My mom had a grandma shower that some of her friends hosted for her. But, her's was only because she was getting custody of my nephew and is now basically his mom.
Lurker out.