I Give Up...

Carrie3102 · September 2012

I am at the end of my rope. DD has never had "real" sleep problems. Until we came back from vacation. We didn't change time zones or anything drastic like that, her schedule was just wonky a few days, and we all slept in the same room, she still slept in her own bed, but we were in the room with her.

We got home and she's eating at normal times, tired at normal times, we are doing our bedtime routine, bath, jammies (dim room) with lullaby music, read stories, bottle, bed.

I've always rocked her to sleep at bedtime but not in the middle of the night since she stopped eating during the night. I've always laid her down at between 8 and 8:30, and she slept. Never been a real issue, she'd wake in the middle of the night once or twice, and go right back to sleep, we even did some sleep trainining around these night wakings and she can put herself back to sleep.

For the last week it has been the most horrible chore to put her to bed. We are doing our normal routine everything is the same, she falls asleep taking her bottle, and by 8:30 I lay her down. Immediately upon putting her in bed, she freaks out. I don't mean crying, I mean screaming bloody murder. She is not fevered, she's fed, dry, clean, no gas, just wants me, not DH, me. I try to soothe her in her room and once she's calmed I leave. This starts the screaming all over.

Monday night was a fail I held her until 11 when she was very out, then she was up again at 4. We've also tried waiting 10 minutes, then going in to calm her down, then leaving again and Tuesday this took 20 minutes, then she slept the entire night through. So I was thinking... ok, we can do this. Wednesday she screamed for about 8 minutes and then only woke once for just about 30 seconds, seems to be going perfectly right? Last night, she goes down with out crying at all... I am hopeful for a good night sleep with none of that horrible scream.

At 10:30 all hell breaks loose, she's screaming, DH wakes, doesn't want to wait the 10 minutes, and goes in, she calms, he comes back to bed, and no sooner does he pull up the covers than the screaming starts all over again. I wait 10 minutes and go in, she never does completely quit crying so I wait 3 minutes and leave, screaming continues for another 10 minutes. I go in again, only I'm too frustrated at this point and (yes this embarrasses me) pick her up when even that doesn't alm her and she still keeps screaming I yell... "JOSEPHINE, WHAT IS WRONG? PLEASE STOP SCREAMING!" I realize I'm too frustrated to deal (if it was crying I can handle that, but this scream takes me to a whole new level, I can't deal with it). I put her back in bed and tell DH that I'm too frustrated I need him to deal with it for a while. well by 11:30 I'm calm and go out make a bottle (unheard of, she doesn't eat in the middle of the night not since she was 7 wks old), feed and rock her until she finally gives up and falls asleep at 12:45. I wait until 1 to lay her down. At 3:30 we're up and doing this all over again (minus the bottle).

I've had it. She'll sleep fine if I hold her, I am tempted to take her to our spare bedroom and get us all some much needed sleep... but I know that will only make it worse. -- Top it off I leave on business on Sunday, DH will be alone, and he still has to get up at 4 for work every morning...I'm feeling super guilty.

Suggestions?

khbe14 · September 2012

Oh my, that sounds pretty rough. Is she having trouble napping as well? Maybe she is in a cycle of being over-tired? There are a lot of ladies on the board who are sleep experts so hopefully someone can give you some good advice. Good luck, I hope your house gets some much-needed rest soon!

We are leaving for vacation tonight... I hope this doesn't happen to my good sleeper as well.

Carrie3102 · September 2012

khbe14:

Oh my, that sounds pretty rough. Is she having trouble napping as well? Maybe she is in a cycle of being over-tired? There are a lot of ladies on the board who are sleep experts so hopefully someone can give you some good advice. Good luck, I hope your house gets some much-needed rest soon!

We are leaving for vacation tonight... I hope this doesn't happen to my good sleeper as well.

I had the same thought. I talked to the sitter and no she's taking her 1 hr am nap and 2-3 hr afternoon nap... so, that's not it. Thank you.

I too hope that your good sleeper doesn't go wonky... its painful. Fingers crossed for you... have a good vacation!

sportsmomma · September 2012

DS goes through these cycles of bad sleep and my guess here is either separation anxiety or growth spurt since he's wanted to eat earlier a couple times even tho he hasn't eaten overnight for the most part since 4 months.

Does your LO have a lovey? DS has done much better since we let him have an Aden Anais security blanket as recommended by some mamas here.

Carrie3102 · September 2012

BlueCards:
DS goes through these cycles of bad sleep and my guess here is either separation anxiety or growth spurt since he's wanted to eat earlier a couple times even tho he hasn't eaten overnight for the most part since 4 months. Does your LO have a lovey? DS has done much better since we let him have an Aden Anais security blanket as recommended by some mamas here.

Yes she has a sock monkey, and a blankie. doesn't matter she just wants to be held. I am thinking that maybe we're having both. The separation anxiety and the growth spurt. I will see if feeding her a little more milk today will help.

Thanks for the advice I didn't even give growth spurt a thought. I thought of teeth though, and maybe it is... I don't know but I feel like a horrible mommy, and I feel terrible for LO because I know she is tired too.

Carrie3102 · September 2012

SandAndsSea:
If it makes you feel any better, we've had more nights like this with DS than good nights and he's never STTN. We did CIO and the no cry SS and got him down to only waking twice. Generally, he'll fall asleep quicker if I nurse him so if it's been more than 8 hours from his last feeding I will nurse. It seems like as soon as we get back to the two wakings, he gets a cold, or teething, or we're traveling adn we're back to these miserable nights. The thing that DH and I have done is split the nights. So, I take 3 nights, he takes 3 nights, and we share the last night, but that way at least 3 nights a week, we can sleep.

This is not a bad idea. I'm going to discuss with DH... at least that way we've got a schedule for her being up and its something I think I could live with. Last night was the first time DH had been up with her in months.

Kelly1109 · September 2012

Probably not much help but at DSs 9 month appt I talked to the pedi about his sleep issues. He said right around 9 months they tend to regress in their sleep. They are going brought so many new milestones, getting teeth, etc that it can mess with them. We had a few rough weeks but are somewhat back to normal. And for us normal is still getting up 1-2 times at night. If he STTN I am in shock the next morning!

Carrie3102 · September 2012

Kelly1109:
Probably not much help but at DSs 9 month appt I talked to the pedi about his sleep issues. He said right around 9 months they tend to regress in their sleep. They are going brought so many new milestones, getting teeth, etc that it can mess with them. We had a few rough weeks but are somewhat back to normal. And for us normal is still getting up 1-2 times at night. If he STTN I am in shock the next morning!

Honestly anything is a help at this point. I'm at a total loss for why she's going through this. So any ideas, advice etc are more than welcome. Thanks, I will keep that in mind and TRY to remember she isn't doing this to torture me, and it is JUST a phase, and someday she'll not want me around, so I should soak this up.

... It's just that scream, it is blood curdling.

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