Natural Birth
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Natural Birth of 3rd Baby (1st Induced, 2nd m/c) [LONG!]
Short version:
Juniper was born on July 21, 2012 at 1:22pm (an hour after we arrived at the hospital). She was 8 pounds, 2 ounces and 20.5" long. She nursed like a champ from the start.
My Bittersweet Baby
We decided in March 2011 that we wanted to have a second child. Similar to our first child, we were fortunate to get pregnant right away! We were ecstatic that we were due to have our second baby on December 24, 2011. It would be perfect - I could stay home during the spring semester and the baby would be 7 months old before I went back to work full time.
I started spotting in early May, but I kept reminding myself to be positive - I spotted when I was pregnant with my first child. Our midwife practice got us in for an ultrasound at 6 weeks, 2 days where we saw a tiny fluttering heartbeat - everything looked great. But, fate had other plans for us.
At seven weeks pregnant, I started spotting with large clots the Saturday before Mother?s Day. I still tried to remain positive because I had a large subchronic hematoma with my first child - so I would suddenly bleed really badly and then it would stop just as quickly - sometimes I had tiny clots, but not large clots. The bleeding I experienced during this pregnancy was different - I felt something creeping down my cervix and then I?d have the urge to push. I called the midwife practice and was surprised that a midwife (not a calling service) picked up on the second ring - on the weekend! The midwife told me to come in for some bloodwork to see if my numbers were still rising, but she also prepared me for the worst - I was most likely miscarrying. On Sunday, the bleeding and cramping was worse and the clots were as large as my hand. I was kind to myself and rested in bed between cramps and trips to the bathroom. I was afraid to flush my baby down the toilet, so I searched every clot hoping to find her. During one of these clot searches, my daughter came in with flowers for Mother?s Day and asked what I was doing. I told her I was trying to find the baby and she said, ?But doesn?t Grandma [my decease mother who died in July 2003] already have the baby?? That is when I caught a reflection of me in the mirror - geez - what was I doing!? My four year old, wise beyond her years, was right - what was in the toilet was not my baby. My baby was already in a better place with past family members caring for her.
Although having a miscarriage was a heartbreaking life event, there was a silver lining. Since my daughters induced birth, I wondered if I knew what a real contraction felt like and if I could deliver a baby without being told when to push and for how long. And there I was - laying in bed feeling contractions and all of the birth material working it?s way down until my body had the urge to push. So even though my baby was being born way too early, it gave me hope that my body could birth a baby on its own.
The evening of my loss, I had a vivid dream - I was rushing to drop my daughter off at preschool because I had to get to a meeting on time at the coffee shop across from her preschool. I ran into the coffee shop just in time for my meeting and looked around frantically not knowing who I was meeting. Then, I saw my mother sitting at a table smiling at me. At that moment, I knew my meeting was with her and quickly walked over to hug her and sit down. She gave me another hug and a kiss and then said, ?I am so happy that you are having a baby in July!? I was completely confused because I had just had a miscarriage and having a baby in July would mean that I would have to wait 6 months to be pregnant again. I asked her if she was sure and she smiled and said, ?Yes, you are going to have a July baby. A healthy July baby girl.? I woke up crying - crying because of my loss, crying because a July baby would mean 6 months of trying and maybe more losses, and crying because I wish I had some more time with my mother in the dream. I assured myself that I would have a baby before July!
My Last Baby
In November 2011, as soon as I saw the two lines on my pregnancy test appear, I knew in my heart that this pregnancy would be okay because I was due July 20 - the 9 year anniversary of my mom's death and when she told me I?d have a baby. So this was my take home baby - thank you, mom.
My pregnancy was relatively uneventful. I had some spotting episodes that I immediately put myself on bed rest for. I had some Braxton Hicks contractions that I worked through late at night during my third trimester. I took good care of myself. I didn't use my pregnancy as an excuse to over eat. I rested when I needed to. I walked about 1.5 miles a day - enough to exercise without spotting. The result was not much weight gain, no swelling, and feeling good even in my 40th week. When people asked when I was due, I would say, July 20, but she has until August 3 (the two weeks post dates that my midwife practice was comfortable going until)...and I was really okay with her coming August 3 because this was my last pregnancy - I wanted to savor every minute of it. My doula warned me that second babies come quicker and usually don't get induced. I smiled and nodded. My husband was excited by this news - our doula had so much experience, she most likely would be correct. I thought, sure, y'all can be optimistic, but just for my own sanity, I'll be realistic and prepare myself for another long, hard induction.
As July 20 came, my family started saying how they hoped I would have her because we needed a good memory for that day. Then my father-in-law said I really couldn't have the baby August 3 because they left soon after that date and would not be able to help. I felt overwhelmed. I enjoyed being pregnant. I did not want to rush Juniper and I really had no control of it. My midwife said that I could try acupuncture - if Juniper was ready to be born, acupuncture would help nudge her.
Bright and early on July 20, I read the news, said a prayer for everyone involved in the Batman movie shooting, and asked Juniper not to come today because I didn't want her to read about an event so tragic on the day of her birth that happened so close to us. At the acupuncturist, I felt silly - I paid $75 for an hours worth of (what felt like) mosquito bites. But it did give me an hour to lay down and talk to Juniper - dear strong, smart, beautiful girl, please tuck your head, cross your arms over your chest, and slide down to join us. The acupuncturist told me that I was probably not feeling my true contractions because she usually turns up the TENS machine 5 times during a session and after only 3 times, I was at the max rate she felt comfortable doing. Thus, I had a higher pain tolerance. She also told me I would have contractions that night, but they probably wouldn't be real - just work through them and see. I would also probably lose my mucus plug the next morning. If I was still pregnant on Monday, I could call at 8a to schedule an appointment at a discounted $50. I paid her and drove quickly to my daughter's summer music camp showcase where my husband teased me about doing "that hocus pocus acupuncture."
I went to bed thinking, "So where are those contractions?" I got my answer at 2am on July 21. They were much different from my Braxton Hicks contractions - I felt that they were making progress, but weren't horrible. So I laid in bed breathing and resting between them. From 2-5:30am I had real contractions anywhere from 5 minutes to 15 minutes apart lasting 30 seconds to 1.5 minutes. The next morning I woke up to some red spotting and a mess in the toilet. Despite hearing about "squid-like looking" mucus plugs, mine came out in a liquid mess. I felt like this may be my last morning of freedom in a while and pushed hard to have breakfast out and walk around the farmers market with my family. I texted my doula, on the way to breakfast letting her know my situation - I thought my contractions were over and that Juniper's birth probably wasn't happening today. We also planned to go swimming after breakfast and I asked my doula if I could still swim with bloody show. I mentally noted that the hocus pocus acupuncturist was right on two points.
As I paid for street parking before breakfast, I had a pretty painful contraction and then another one a few minutes later while walking to breakfast. I had a few during breakfast, but I reminded myself that this could go on for hours or days - don't get your hopes up. I went to the bathroom and didn't have any spotting - thus confirming in my head that today was not the day. We walked to the farmers market and got peaches while seeing some friends and doing the standard late stage pregnancy banter:
Them: When are you due?
Me: Yesterday!
Them: Oh, poor you - pregnant in the hot summer and now over due!
On the way home, around 10:30a, I started having some contractions that I had to breathe through and focus on. DH encouraged me to start timing them on an iPhone app I downloaded during one of my many Braxton Hicks nights. I thought it was silly - Juniper wasn't coming today, but I started timing them.
As soon as we got home, I grabbed a large gatorade from the fridge (our doula recommended hydrating well if labor may be coming) and retreated to our bedroom so that I could work through the contractions alone - kneeling on the floor with my upper body resting on the bed. After a contraction I hopped in the shower because my Braxton Hicks always stopped after a shower. The shower felt good and I had some harder contractions. After the shower, I thought that this may be the start of my labor since contractions kept coming. I told my husband to start making chocolate chip cookies for the labor, delivery, and post partem nurses (he makes awesome cookies), while I finished packing my hospital bag with an outfit for Juniper, a big sister gift, and an outfit I wanted to labor in (sports bra and skirt) that I planned to change into when I got to the hospital.
At 11:30, DH came up to check on me. I showed him the app - my contractions were all over the place and not the 5-1-1 we were told was the golden ticket for hospital admission (5 minutes between 1 minute long contractions for 1 hour). I was more like 6-40 seconds-1. He texted our doula an update and encouraged me to call the midwives. I called and spoke with our midwife - she said I could come in for a check if I wanted and if she didn't see me in 2 hours, she'd call to check on me. She told me to walk stairs and spend time on all fours to get things going.
I started walking stairs in our home like our doula had shown me - high knees. Yes, this was definitely getting things going because at the top of the stairs, the contraction was so painful, that I had no choice but to go on all fours and ride the contraction out. I pictured myself on top of a wave watching it peak and fall back down to the surf where I could lay on the beach and recover. At this point, I started being unreasonable with DH - asking if he ate lunch, if the cookies were done, had he packed yet, and please PUT PRESSURE ON MY BACK! All of these comments were made to him in quick succession between each contraction. He turned the cookie baking over to his mom and packed between contractions while being there for me when the contraction got hard. He mentioned going to the hospital, but labor really wasn't that hard yet - I remember with my daughter's (pitocin-induced) labor of never getting a break between contractions. As one contraction would start receding, another one would be building. Here I was having a hard contraction for a short period of time and then getting to rest for SIX glorious MINUTES! It was enough of a break for me to start thinking I really did not just have a contraction - maybe this labor is all in my head! But then I started to low moan at the end of contractions and a few made me cry at the end. Upon hearing these labor sounds, my mother-in-law, a retired L&D nurse said, "I think you two better head to the hospital."
We took her advice. As I walked to the car at noon, I had a hard contraction and grabbed a tree in the front yard for support. It was the first contraction where I started to let myself go - let my primal brain take over through contractions and I let out a sound that only after the contraction started to wane did my developed brain say, "Yikes! What on Earth was that!? Wow. That was me - well, the whole neighborhood knows I'm in labor now." I also chuckled to myself as I walked the rest of the way to the car because a friend from college had come over the other night for dinner and asked how I planned to give birth. Since she thought Boulderites were hippies, I teased, "Oh you know - hanging on to a tree in the yard - grounding myself with Mother Earth." And there I was - clenching my tree moaning like I wasn't in public. DH called our doula and she said she'd meet us at the hospital.
I'm thankful for my primal brain because I just zoned out for the car ride. Just as my developed brain started to panic at the pain, I opened my eyes and we were turning into the parking lot at 12:30p. I was grateful it was a Saturday and no one was anywhere in sight as we walked through the various waiting areas to the elevators for L&D. I loved slow dancing with DH through the contractions in the middle of the lobby. Even once we got to L&D, the walking wasn't done - they chose the furthest room for us. The walk to my room took a while - I had 3-4 contractions walking down that long hallway.
In the room, I immediately went to the toilet because I thought I had to pee, but nothing came out. This was definitely it - I had more bloody show (of course this was it - I was in the hospital!). The nurse came and said I had to be monitored for 20 minutes. ***! Our doula reminded us of this during our last meeting, but with my current contractions, I could not Imagine sitting through them for 20 minutes!! She asked for a birth plan and we said we just wanted to go natural, have skin to skin time with the baby, and nurse her. Bless DH because he remembered that I had negotiated with the midwives for no IV. I didn't want a hospital gown - I had an outfit I'd change into when DH had a chance to get my bag (haha - later I joked that I would have considered divorce if he stopped putting counter pressure on my back). I went on all fours as she tried to hook me up. She got frustrated that I wouldn't just lay back for her, but I was definitely not doing that. From her tone, I got the sense that she thought I was just being wimpy. Finally, she said I could get checked first. Sure - why not. When she checked me - it was interesting to see her face change from, "damn over dramatic wimp" to "Oh - you ARE in labor." She announced I was at 6 (hallelujah, I'm not a wimp!).
At this point, our doula came in, started the tub so I could labor in it, and helped DH comfort me. The nurse drew labs while I tried to crush the hospital bed side rails with my bare hands. DH kept supporting my back and juggling a hurl bucket because I felt nauseous. Our doula read my mind because I was so hot - I was soaked with sweat and all of a sudden, our doula was there with a cool cloth for my face and another to fan me with. Then, our doula negotiated with the nurse to get the mobile monitoring unit while DH kept counter pressure on my back. As soon as the monitors were on, I felt like I had to pee again, so back to the toilet. DH kept counter pressure - our doula kept cool rags coming. Between a contraction, I looked down and saw the pink polish on my toes and remembered the wonderful day I had two weeks ago with my best friend. She set up a pamper the mom day and gushed, "you are going to have pretty toes when you have this baby." It made me smile thinking about this - until the next contraction.
After a contraction, I looked up and there was our midwife squatting against a wall smiling at me. I loved that smile - it reminded me that my contraction was over - I could smile too and recover. Then, another contraction would come and her lips would change into a genuine "aww I'm
sorry you are hurting" look. My primal brain was taking over more and more and I let it - at some point, I started holding myself - supporting my perenium. I called out to Juniper during contractions, urging her to come to me.
Then, things got hard. All of a sudden I was in a lot of pain and instead of being on top of the wave looking for the beach, I was slammed into a huge metal door. The slamming sensation just kept coming and then I opened my eyes and started grabbing at DH's shorts and screaming. I was pushing - I could not control it. Again, unlike my daughter's birth where I was told to
push and for how long - this was different - during contractions, I had no control. My primal brain was just taking over. I begged to get the monitors off - I felt like they were constricting me too much. Our midwife quickly took them off me.
A different nurse came in and asked, "[MIdwife name], are we having this baby on the toilet?" Our midwife smiled and said, "Oh no, Gail. [and then quieter - more to me] Unless mama wants to." and gave me a wink. My developed brain momentarily panicked - what is she saying!? If I want to!? Isn't she the midwife? Shouldn't she tell me what to do? And then my primal brain yelled, "THIS IS YOUR BIRTH! Do what you feel!" during another intense contraction where all I could do was push. Our midwife then leaned in and said, "But you don't really want to have your baby on the toilet - right?" I didn't, but I needed support - perenium support and our midwife promised to give it to me. What a sight we must have been. Our doula and DH each had an arm, our midwife had my bottom as we shuffled to the bed.
I went on all fours again and oh my goodness the pain! My developed brain could not hold back - it had to be heard because I feared I would lose it forever since I had let go to the primal side. So I yelled something about not having another child again. DH reminded me that we were only planning two - this was it. Our midwife told me if I went on my side, it would hurt less. I listened and sure enough it did. Until the next contraction where my primal brain took over and forced every part of my body to PUSH despite the incredible pain! Again, fearing that I could lose my developed brain since my primal side kept taking over so easily, I yelled for an epidural, but I knew this was impossible - I. Was. Pushing!! Everyone laughed and told me what I already knew - it was too late for epidurals. Then, my primal side took over for one last push at 1:22pm when I felt my beautiful daughter slip out. I felt her warm, wet body on my left inner thigh. Then she was quickly on my chest getting rubbed by lots of hands that loved her. It was an incredible feeling - I did it. I had a natural birth!
The baby nurse took Juniper to check over since they knew she passed some meconium based on the color of my water (that broke on the toilet probably when I was slamming against the mental door and grabbing for DH) and she was slathered in it. For the first time, our midwife told me what to do trying to get my placenta out. The placenta delivery was a sticky point during my daughter's birth, so I asked for a shot of pitocin to help get it out, but our midwife smiled at me and said, "I think you can deliver this on your own." My developed brain again had a minor panic - didn't our midwife read my file!? I had major problems last time. But then, I remembered that I just delivered a baby - maybe she is right, maybe I could do this too if I just trust myself. She coached me through 5 pushes and she was right - out my placenta came. I pushed an 8 lb baby out in 3 pushes and a sticky placenta took 5! Then, our midwife checked me out and declared that I hadn't torn!! Wow! I was so excited - no tears! No stitches! I laid back and was excited to see the baby nurse bring Juniper over for some skin to skin less than an hour after arriving at the hospital. She was an excellent nurser - she nursed for over an hour and would not let anyone take her off the breast without serious protest.
Two hours later, my beautiful daughter came in to meet her sister and bring me flowers. It was an awesome birth experience thanks to my husband, family, doula, midwife, and nurses.
Things I wish I knew/trusted in ahead of time:
1. Second babies do come a lot faster. I didn't even change into my labor outfit.
2. After pains/uterine shrinking contractions hurt a lot more after the second baby. I breathed through them like they were labor contractions each time I nursed for the first three days post partem.
3. Don't get too freaked out by the "hypochondriac nurse." You'll know her when you meet her - she usually has a lot of energy and spouts off problems with your baby a mile-a-minute. For my first child, we listens closely, took notes, and freaked out that our child had so many things wrong with her. This time around, we smiled, nodded, and disregarded.
4. I'd recommend a doula for every birth no matter how many children a mom has already had. My husband was so busy supporting me that it was nice to have another set of hands to help us and anticipate our needs because of her knowledge of the birthing process and hospital.
We decided in March 2011 that we wanted to have a second child. Similar to our first child, we were fortunate to get pregnant right away! We were ecstatic that we were due to have our second baby on December 24, 2011. It would be perfect - I could stay home during the spring semester and the baby would be 7 months old before I went back to work full time.
I started spotting in early May, but I kept reminding myself to be positive - I spotted when I was pregnant with my first child. Our midwife practice got us in for an ultrasound at 6 weeks, 2 days where we saw a tiny fluttering heartbeat - everything looked great. But, fate had other plans for us.
At seven weeks pregnant, I started spotting with large clots the Saturday before Mother?s Day. I still tried to remain positive because I had a large subchronic hematoma with my first child - so I would suddenly bleed really badly and then it would stop just as quickly - sometimes I had tiny clots, but not large clots. The bleeding I experienced during this pregnancy was different - I felt something creeping down my cervix and then I?d have the urge to push. I called the midwife practice and was surprised that a midwife (not a calling service) picked up on the second ring - on the weekend! The midwife told me to come in for some bloodwork to see if my numbers were still rising, but she also prepared me for the worst - I was most likely miscarrying. On Sunday, the bleeding and cramping was worse and the clots were as large as my hand. I was kind to myself and rested in bed between cramps and trips to the bathroom. I was afraid to flush my baby down the toilet, so I searched every clot hoping to find her. During one of these clot searches, my daughter came in with flowers for Mother?s Day and asked what I was doing. I told her I was trying to find the baby and she said, ?But doesn?t Grandma [my decease mother who died in July 2003] already have the baby?? That is when I caught a reflection of me in the mirror - geez - what was I doing!? My four year old, wise beyond her years, was right - what was in the toilet was not my baby. My baby was already in a better place with past family members caring for her.
Although having a miscarriage was a heartbreaking life event, there was a silver lining. Since my daughters induced birth, I wondered if I knew what a real contraction felt like and if I could deliver a baby without being told when to push and for how long. And there I was - laying in bed feeling contractions and all of the birth material working it?s way down until my body had the urge to push. So even though my baby was being born way too early, it gave me hope that my body could birth a baby on its own.
The evening of my loss, I had a vivid dream - I was rushing to drop my daughter off at preschool because I had to get to a meeting on time at the coffee shop across from her preschool. I ran into the coffee shop just in time for my meeting and looked around frantically not knowing who I was meeting. Then, I saw my mother sitting at a table smiling at me. At that moment, I knew my meeting was with her and quickly walked over to hug her and sit down. She gave me another hug and a kiss and then said, ?I am so happy that you are having a baby in July!? I was completely confused because I had just had a miscarriage and having a baby in July would mean that I would have to wait 6 months to be pregnant again. I asked her if she was sure and she smiled and said, ?Yes, you are going to have a July baby. A healthy July baby girl.? I woke up crying - crying because of my loss, crying because a July baby would mean 6 months of trying and maybe more losses, and crying because I wish I had some more time with my mother in the dream. I assured myself that I would have a baby before July!
My Last Baby
In November 2011, as soon as I saw the two lines on my pregnancy test appear, I knew in my heart that this pregnancy would be okay because I was due July 20 - the 9 year anniversary of my mom's death and when she told me I?d have a baby. So this was my take home baby - thank you, mom.
My pregnancy was relatively uneventful. I had some spotting episodes that I immediately put myself on bed rest for. I had some Braxton Hicks contractions that I worked through late at night during my third trimester. I took good care of myself. I didn't use my pregnancy as an excuse to over eat. I rested when I needed to. I walked about 1.5 miles a day - enough to exercise without spotting. The result was not much weight gain, no swelling, and feeling good even in my 40th week. When people asked when I was due, I would say, July 20, but she has until August 3 (the two weeks post dates that my midwife practice was comfortable going until)...and I was really okay with her coming August 3 because this was my last pregnancy - I wanted to savor every minute of it. My doula warned me that second babies come quicker and usually don't get induced. I smiled and nodded. My husband was excited by this news - our doula had so much experience, she most likely would be correct. I thought, sure, y'all can be optimistic, but just for my own sanity, I'll be realistic and prepare myself for another long, hard induction.
As July 20 came, my family started saying how they hoped I would have her because we needed a good memory for that day. Then my father-in-law said I really couldn't have the baby August 3 because they left soon after that date and would not be able to help. I felt overwhelmed. I enjoyed being pregnant. I did not want to rush Juniper and I really had no control of it. My midwife said that I could try acupuncture - if Juniper was ready to be born, acupuncture would help nudge her.
Bright and early on July 20, I read the news, said a prayer for everyone involved in the Batman movie shooting, and asked Juniper not to come today because I didn't want her to read about an event so tragic on the day of her birth that happened so close to us. At the acupuncturist, I felt silly - I paid $75 for an hours worth of (what felt like) mosquito bites. But it did give me an hour to lay down and talk to Juniper - dear strong, smart, beautiful girl, please tuck your head, cross your arms over your chest, and slide down to join us. The acupuncturist told me that I was probably not feeling my true contractions because she usually turns up the TENS machine 5 times during a session and after only 3 times, I was at the max rate she felt comfortable doing. Thus, I had a higher pain tolerance. She also told me I would have contractions that night, but they probably wouldn't be real - just work through them and see. I would also probably lose my mucus plug the next morning. If I was still pregnant on Monday, I could call at 8a to schedule an appointment at a discounted $50. I paid her and drove quickly to my daughter's summer music camp showcase where my husband teased me about doing "that hocus pocus acupuncture."
I went to bed thinking, "So where are those contractions?" I got my answer at 2am on July 21. They were much different from my Braxton Hicks contractions - I felt that they were making progress, but weren't horrible. So I laid in bed breathing and resting between them. From 2-5:30am I had real contractions anywhere from 5 minutes to 15 minutes apart lasting 30 seconds to 1.5 minutes. The next morning I woke up to some red spotting and a mess in the toilet. Despite hearing about "squid-like looking" mucus plugs, mine came out in a liquid mess. I felt like this may be my last morning of freedom in a while and pushed hard to have breakfast out and walk around the farmers market with my family. I texted my doula, on the way to breakfast letting her know my situation - I thought my contractions were over and that Juniper's birth probably wasn't happening today. We also planned to go swimming after breakfast and I asked my doula if I could still swim with bloody show. I mentally noted that the hocus pocus acupuncturist was right on two points.
As I paid for street parking before breakfast, I had a pretty painful contraction and then another one a few minutes later while walking to breakfast. I had a few during breakfast, but I reminded myself that this could go on for hours or days - don't get your hopes up. I went to the bathroom and didn't have any spotting - thus confirming in my head that today was not the day. We walked to the farmers market and got peaches while seeing some friends and doing the standard late stage pregnancy banter:
Them: When are you due?
Me: Yesterday!
Them: Oh, poor you - pregnant in the hot summer and now over due!
On the way home, around 10:30a, I started having some contractions that I had to breathe through and focus on. DH encouraged me to start timing them on an iPhone app I downloaded during one of my many Braxton Hicks nights. I thought it was silly - Juniper wasn't coming today, but I started timing them.
As soon as we got home, I grabbed a large gatorade from the fridge (our doula recommended hydrating well if labor may be coming) and retreated to our bedroom so that I could work through the contractions alone - kneeling on the floor with my upper body resting on the bed. After a contraction I hopped in the shower because my Braxton Hicks always stopped after a shower. The shower felt good and I had some harder contractions. After the shower, I thought that this may be the start of my labor since contractions kept coming. I told my husband to start making chocolate chip cookies for the labor, delivery, and post partem nurses (he makes awesome cookies), while I finished packing my hospital bag with an outfit for Juniper, a big sister gift, and an outfit I wanted to labor in (sports bra and skirt) that I planned to change into when I got to the hospital.
At 11:30, DH came up to check on me. I showed him the app - my contractions were all over the place and not the 5-1-1 we were told was the golden ticket for hospital admission (5 minutes between 1 minute long contractions for 1 hour). I was more like 6-40 seconds-1. He texted our doula an update and encouraged me to call the midwives. I called and spoke with our midwife - she said I could come in for a check if I wanted and if she didn't see me in 2 hours, she'd call to check on me. She told me to walk stairs and spend time on all fours to get things going.
I started walking stairs in our home like our doula had shown me - high knees. Yes, this was definitely getting things going because at the top of the stairs, the contraction was so painful, that I had no choice but to go on all fours and ride the contraction out. I pictured myself on top of a wave watching it peak and fall back down to the surf where I could lay on the beach and recover. At this point, I started being unreasonable with DH - asking if he ate lunch, if the cookies were done, had he packed yet, and please PUT PRESSURE ON MY BACK! All of these comments were made to him in quick succession between each contraction. He turned the cookie baking over to his mom and packed between contractions while being there for me when the contraction got hard. He mentioned going to the hospital, but labor really wasn't that hard yet - I remember with my daughter's (pitocin-induced) labor of never getting a break between contractions. As one contraction would start receding, another one would be building. Here I was having a hard contraction for a short period of time and then getting to rest for SIX glorious MINUTES! It was enough of a break for me to start thinking I really did not just have a contraction - maybe this labor is all in my head! But then I started to low moan at the end of contractions and a few made me cry at the end. Upon hearing these labor sounds, my mother-in-law, a retired L&D nurse said, "I think you two better head to the hospital."
We took her advice. As I walked to the car at noon, I had a hard contraction and grabbed a tree in the front yard for support. It was the first contraction where I started to let myself go - let my primal brain take over through contractions and I let out a sound that only after the contraction started to wane did my developed brain say, "Yikes! What on Earth was that!? Wow. That was me - well, the whole neighborhood knows I'm in labor now." I also chuckled to myself as I walked the rest of the way to the car because a friend from college had come over the other night for dinner and asked how I planned to give birth. Since she thought Boulderites were hippies, I teased, "Oh you know - hanging on to a tree in the yard - grounding myself with Mother Earth." And there I was - clenching my tree moaning like I wasn't in public. DH called our doula and she said she'd meet us at the hospital.
I'm thankful for my primal brain because I just zoned out for the car ride. Just as my developed brain started to panic at the pain, I opened my eyes and we were turning into the parking lot at 12:30p. I was grateful it was a Saturday and no one was anywhere in sight as we walked through the various waiting areas to the elevators for L&D. I loved slow dancing with DH through the contractions in the middle of the lobby. Even once we got to L&D, the walking wasn't done - they chose the furthest room for us. The walk to my room took a while - I had 3-4 contractions walking down that long hallway.
In the room, I immediately went to the toilet because I thought I had to pee, but nothing came out. This was definitely it - I had more bloody show (of course this was it - I was in the hospital!). The nurse came and said I had to be monitored for 20 minutes. ***! Our doula reminded us of this during our last meeting, but with my current contractions, I could not Imagine sitting through them for 20 minutes!! She asked for a birth plan and we said we just wanted to go natural, have skin to skin time with the baby, and nurse her. Bless DH because he remembered that I had negotiated with the midwives for no IV. I didn't want a hospital gown - I had an outfit I'd change into when DH had a chance to get my bag (haha - later I joked that I would have considered divorce if he stopped putting counter pressure on my back). I went on all fours as she tried to hook me up. She got frustrated that I wouldn't just lay back for her, but I was definitely not doing that. From her tone, I got the sense that she thought I was just being wimpy. Finally, she said I could get checked first. Sure - why not. When she checked me - it was interesting to see her face change from, "damn over dramatic wimp" to "Oh - you ARE in labor." She announced I was at 6 (hallelujah, I'm not a wimp!).
At this point, our doula came in, started the tub so I could labor in it, and helped DH comfort me. The nurse drew labs while I tried to crush the hospital bed side rails with my bare hands. DH kept supporting my back and juggling a hurl bucket because I felt nauseous. Our doula read my mind because I was so hot - I was soaked with sweat and all of a sudden, our doula was there with a cool cloth for my face and another to fan me with. Then, our doula negotiated with the nurse to get the mobile monitoring unit while DH kept counter pressure on my back. As soon as the monitors were on, I felt like I had to pee again, so back to the toilet. DH kept counter pressure - our doula kept cool rags coming. Between a contraction, I looked down and saw the pink polish on my toes and remembered the wonderful day I had two weeks ago with my best friend. She set up a pamper the mom day and gushed, "you are going to have pretty toes when you have this baby." It made me smile thinking about this - until the next contraction.
After a contraction, I looked up and there was our midwife squatting against a wall smiling at me. I loved that smile - it reminded me that my contraction was over - I could smile too and recover. Then, another contraction would come and her lips would change into a genuine "aww I'm
sorry you are hurting" look. My primal brain was taking over more and more and I let it - at some point, I started holding myself - supporting my perenium. I called out to Juniper during contractions, urging her to come to me.
Then, things got hard. All of a sudden I was in a lot of pain and instead of being on top of the wave looking for the beach, I was slammed into a huge metal door. The slamming sensation just kept coming and then I opened my eyes and started grabbing at DH's shorts and screaming. I was pushing - I could not control it. Again, unlike my daughter's birth where I was told to
push and for how long - this was different - during contractions, I had no control. My primal brain was just taking over. I begged to get the monitors off - I felt like they were constricting me too much. Our midwife quickly took them off me.
A different nurse came in and asked, "[MIdwife name], are we having this baby on the toilet?" Our midwife smiled and said, "Oh no, Gail. [and then quieter - more to me] Unless mama wants to." and gave me a wink. My developed brain momentarily panicked - what is she saying!? If I want to!? Isn't she the midwife? Shouldn't she tell me what to do? And then my primal brain yelled, "THIS IS YOUR BIRTH! Do what you feel!" during another intense contraction where all I could do was push. Our midwife then leaned in and said, "But you don't really want to have your baby on the toilet - right?" I didn't, but I needed support - perenium support and our midwife promised to give it to me. What a sight we must have been. Our doula and DH each had an arm, our midwife had my bottom as we shuffled to the bed.
I went on all fours again and oh my goodness the pain! My developed brain could not hold back - it had to be heard because I feared I would lose it forever since I had let go to the primal side. So I yelled something about not having another child again. DH reminded me that we were only planning two - this was it. Our midwife told me if I went on my side, it would hurt less. I listened and sure enough it did. Until the next contraction where my primal brain took over and forced every part of my body to PUSH despite the incredible pain! Again, fearing that I could lose my developed brain since my primal side kept taking over so easily, I yelled for an epidural, but I knew this was impossible - I. Was. Pushing!! Everyone laughed and told me what I already knew - it was too late for epidurals. Then, my primal side took over for one last push at 1:22pm when I felt my beautiful daughter slip out. I felt her warm, wet body on my left inner thigh. Then she was quickly on my chest getting rubbed by lots of hands that loved her. It was an incredible feeling - I did it. I had a natural birth!
The baby nurse took Juniper to check over since they knew she passed some meconium based on the color of my water (that broke on the toilet probably when I was slamming against the mental door and grabbing for DH) and she was slathered in it. For the first time, our midwife told me what to do trying to get my placenta out. The placenta delivery was a sticky point during my daughter's birth, so I asked for a shot of pitocin to help get it out, but our midwife smiled at me and said, "I think you can deliver this on your own." My developed brain again had a minor panic - didn't our midwife read my file!? I had major problems last time. But then, I remembered that I just delivered a baby - maybe she is right, maybe I could do this too if I just trust myself. She coached me through 5 pushes and she was right - out my placenta came. I pushed an 8 lb baby out in 3 pushes and a sticky placenta took 5! Then, our midwife checked me out and declared that I hadn't torn!! Wow! I was so excited - no tears! No stitches! I laid back and was excited to see the baby nurse bring Juniper over for some skin to skin less than an hour after arriving at the hospital. She was an excellent nurser - she nursed for over an hour and would not let anyone take her off the breast without serious protest.
Two hours later, my beautiful daughter came in to meet her sister and bring me flowers. It was an awesome birth experience thanks to my husband, family, doula, midwife, and nurses.
Things I wish I knew/trusted in ahead of time:
1. Second babies do come a lot faster. I didn't even change into my labor outfit.
2. After pains/uterine shrinking contractions hurt a lot more after the second baby. I breathed through them like they were labor contractions each time I nursed for the first three days post partem.
3. Don't get too freaked out by the "hypochondriac nurse." You'll know her when you meet her - she usually has a lot of energy and spouts off problems with your baby a mile-a-minute. For my first child, we listens closely, took notes, and freaked out that our child had so many things wrong with her. This time around, we smiled, nodded, and disregarded.
4. I'd recommend a doula for every birth no matter how many children a mom has already had. My husband was so busy supporting me that it was nice to have another set of hands to help us and anticipate our needs because of her knowledge of the birthing process and hospital.
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Re: Natural Birth of 3rd Baby (1st Induced, 2nd m/c) [LONG!]
Sometimes, I'm hilarious.
What a lovely birth. Congrats, mama!
And I agree about the pain of the contractions while nursing intensifying with each baby. That part usually brings me to tears!
I really enjoyed reading your birth story! It was long but it didn't feel like it and I felt like I was there. Plus you have some really god advice.
Congratulations on your new baby (it sounds like you already have a wonderful little girl who's going to be a great big sister) and your complete family and on your successful natural birth!
Thank you for sharing and congratulations !