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Adoption
** Captain Serious **
I haven't been on this board much but I was reading about your post on your visit to an orphanage in Peru. I am so excited for you! My husband is from Peru and I lived there for a couple of years and worked in 3 different orphanages (two in Lima and one in Ayacucho). I absolutely adored all the kids and babies that I worked with. My experience at one of the orphanages was that the babies were really well taken care of- they had play therapists, speech therapists, and really wonderful people taking care of them (although like you said not ideal since they are not with families and those children still desperately need the bond of a family). At the other two, the kids (ages 3 and up) were still well taken care of, but didnt have some of the same opportunities as in the other hogar.
How did you choose Peru? I really miss Peru a lot and cannot wait until our next visit. I have so many friends and family there now, it is like a second home for me. We are planning to adopt from there in the next couple of years (we have a 4 month old daughter so we are waiting a bit). I am starting to look into agencies and researching the process, although my husband knows more since he is a Peruvian attorney ( he is a mental health counselor here though!). I really wish you the best of luck with your adoption process. I hope that we are travelling down the same road soon.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: ** Captain Serious **
It's so wonderful to "meet" you! Please do stick around, especially if you are thinking about adopting. The women here are wonderful and each offers so much.
We chose Peru for a lot of reasons. We were first drawn to the idea of adopting from South America because, although we hadn't yet been to Peru, we'd been to Argentina and Chile, and fell in love. Neither of those countries really have international adoption programs to speak of, so we started investigating other South American countries that do.
We learned about the poverty in Peru, and that the majority of the children in orphanages were there for that reason. We were encouraged by the knowledge that the country has, in recent years, been very serious about ensuring the welfare of these children through ethical procedures. Everything we read said the orphanages in Peru are very child- developmentally centered (we're seeing that for ourselves now), with age-and ability-appropriate education for the children, and efforts to help them overcome delays and unacceptable behaviors.
The process is a long one, but since you are a mixito couple, you'll have streamlined access. You won't be required to use an agency, and will be considered before other non-Peruvian families. I'm sure you'll have no problem getting all the information you need since your husband is an attorney there.
May I ask what led you to Peru in the first place? And, just because I'm nosey and love a good romance, how did you meet your husband? Obviously, these are incredibly intrusive questions, so feel free to ignore them. I would love to know, however, where you are living now, and why you moved back.
Hi! Nice to meet you too!
I am so glad you guys chose Peru. You are right, there are so many children in orphanages there and it is mostly due to poverty. In one of the hogares that I worked at the children were not actually available for adoption but had to be there because their parents/grandparents or whomever had "custody" of them couldn't feed them or educate them, but the kids still did see their families once a month (they went home for the weekend). Sometimes they would come back though after the weekend and it looked like they hadn't been able to eat the whole weekend. It is sad because I know their families did love them, they just couldnt make things work.
In any case, I could tell you a million stories about how wonderful ALL the kids that I worked with were. I always felt so bad when I would leave to come back to the US because especially the older kids really become attached (ok and so mostly it was me that was attached).
To answer your question about how I went there in the first place- I went to do an internship for my master's degree (social work)- this was 7 years ago. A friend of mine in grad school had always wanted to go to Peru and I wanted to go to a Spanish speaking country, so we went and had an AWESOME time! I mostly loved the people (even though the country is beautiful too- my favorite is the jungle). So I decided that I would figure out a way to go back- I was starting law school then (I did a joint degree in law and social work). So I went to great lengths to set-up an independent study abroad for law school. It was fabulous to say the least and I met my husband in the law school (he actually was at a classmate's house when I was working on a group project for school) and we started hanging out (Actually, he asked me to help him translate a really complicated US law- and of course I fell for it). He is really wonderful and caring
So I then returned to Peru afterwards to do another internship and have returned many times since then. We decided to live here for now because it was really difficult to find a job that payed enough to pay my law school loans, and also to be near my family. I do think we will live there at some point. For now though we are in the Chicago area (where my family is). We also need to wait now until he can become a citizen and then we can go back and forth more freely (he is a permament resident right now).
I cannot remember from your previous post- are you waiting for immigration approval? How long do you think it will take? I am so curious about your experience! What age child will you adopt? Were you only in Lima during your visit? (NOt sure if you can say which orphanage you are adopting from). My husband did say it should be streamlined for us, but I am not exactly sure what this means. I am sorry for all the questions! I will stick around this board, it does seem like a great group of people that frequent it.
I can't tell you how nice it is to have someone who knows all about Peru and is planning to adopt from there to talk with!
There seem to be many other similarities in our lives, too. I have my Masters in criminal justice, but briefly considered doing a double major in social work. I applied to law schools the summer before we were married, but decided against attending because I wouldn't be able to earn back my investment in the few years I still plan to pursue my career after graduating (my husband and I are planning an early "retirement" to the country, where we'll just work in whatever job we can get that pays decent). I love traveling and South America, and, in my case, feel that Chile has a "second home" hold on my heart.
Your story about how you ended up in Peru and met your husband is precious. I know how long it takes to become a citizen, so I wish you a speedy wait and smooth process.
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To answer your questions, yes, we are currently awaiting US immigration (CIS) approval. This is taking longer than it has in years past, because Peru (and now the US) is a party to the Hague convention for adoptions. Since the process is so new, and CIS is still ironing out it's requirements and procedures, the estimated wait time is 3 months from when they receive your application (we sent it in on 9/18), or 10 weeks from the date they fingerprint you (10/24 for us).
We are hoping for a child of either gender (Peru does not let first time parents choose gender) who is between the ages of 2 and 6. We are open to a host of special needs, or even two siblings, if they are generally healthy. We don't expect to be placed until late next year or 2010, unless we find a child on the Waiting Angles list.
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Just to give you an overview of the process for non-Peruvian or mixito couples, after the typical homestudy and CIS approval, our dossier will be sent to Peru, where it will be translated and submitted to the agency in charge of adoptions (in Peru, a central agency, MIMDES, is in charge of all adoptions (at least for non-Peruvians), and makes all the matches, so you don't work with a specific orphanage). It will take about 6 - 9 months for our application to be approved. Only AFTER the application is approved, will we begin waiting for a referral. Right now, referrals are taking about 8 - 12 months for healthy infants. My understanding is that Peru tries hard not to refer a child to a family that has needs beyond what the family has stated it believes it can handle, so we aren't really worried about being referred a child beyond our capabilities.
I've mentioned the Waiting Angels list. The list is broken down into several sections: children over 5 years of age; sibling groups in which at least one child is over 5 years of age; children awaiting medical diagnosis; children with medical issues; and children with mental illnesses or delays. If, at any time after our paperwork is submitted, we find a child on the list we would like to parent, our case would be expedited and given priority for both approval and referral. I have been told that Peru is trying to get as many children on the Waiting Angels list as possible, to expedite adoptions. As a result, children who are not matched when they are first declared available for adoption are placed on the list
Once we accept our referral, my husband and I will both travel to Peru. After a week or so of spending time with our child, we will be granted custody, if the social worker reports there is "empathy" between us and the child. Then the Peruvian courts will process our adoption. After that point, one of us (my husband, in our case) is free to return home. I will stay with our child in Peru until we are granted a visa from the US Embassy and can return home together. My time in country is estimated to be 6 - 8 weeks.
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My understanding is that Peruvian and mixito couples have two basic advantages in the process. First, they do not have to use an agency, but can work directly with MIMDES. Secondly, they are always given priority over other applicants. This means that your paperwork will be handled faster and all approved Peruvian/mixito applicants will be considered for referrals before anyone else.
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On our trip, we traveled throughout southern Peru. Since we only had two weeks, this didn't give us much time to stay in any one place, but we got a flavor of each and moved on.
We flew into Lima the first night, and immediately flew into Arequipa the next morning. We spent the day there (mostly to help us acclimate to the elevation), and got on a bus the next morning to Puno--just in time for Puno week! We spent about 4 days in Puno, including one night with a host family on Amanti Island in Lake Titicaca. I made sure we had ample time to enjoy the parades and festival in the city though; it was so much fun! After Puno, we took another bus to Cusco. Again, we spent about 4 days, with a day for the Sacred Valley and another for Manchu Picchu. Then we flew to Puerto Maldonado, and spent 3 days at a lodge in the rainforest. Finally, we flew back to Lima for a couple days, including the visit to the orphanage.
All in all, it was a wonderful trip, and introduced us to the people and their culture. We learned so much, and are really thrilled to be adopting a child from such a wonderful and rich people living in such a beautiful and diverse country.
I'm sure you and/or your husband know who to cook delicious Peruvian food. I would be forever indebted if you could help me learn. We bought both the red and yellow aji paste and a cilantro sauce and have tried several recipes, but it's just not the same. Could you please help me or point me in the right direction? I particularly like lomo saltado, aj? de gallina, the spicy shrimp in aji sauce, and seco de cordero.
Hi!!
First of all, thank you so much for all of the information, it is really helpful. And it is so nice to talk with someone going through the process. Even though we are just starting to think about it, it is so nice to hear about all your experiences. I dont really know anyone else who is adopting from Peru. They do seem to have pretty strict adoption laws and so I dont think it is a very common place to adopt from. We actually were looking at the MIMDES website yesterday and my husband was explaining to me how things work. It looks like if you are a "Mixito" couple (that term cracks me up), then the process takes probably a year or so (not including US immigration and who knows how long with them).
Your trip sounds really wonderful! I have been to Arequipa, Puno and Cusco, but never made it to Puerto Maldonado- we went up North in the jungle to Iquitos. Lake Titicaca was really beautiful when I was there- but very cold! I also really like a city called Chachapoyas in the North of Peru, it is really hard to get to, but so beautiful and the people were so nice there! It is "cloud forest" so you get the mountains and jungle all in one. If you ever get a chance, it is worth seeing. THey have archaeological sites that rival Macchu Picchu but almost nobody goes to them.
Regarding adoption- I was just reading about the "Waiting Angels". I need to talk more with my husband about what we are prepared to handle. I know that I worked with a lot of older kids in Peru and would definitely be willing to do over 5 years or a sibling set. As far as special needs, we need to discuss that more in detail. I worked with a woman who was president of some of the Hogares that I volunteered at and she told me that almost all special needs kids are adopted by couples from Italy (maybe they have a special agency/program that promotes this?).
I am very glad that at least the places I have worked at, the children and babies seemed very well taken care of. I think they do their best to give the children advantages developmentally. I know we did fingerpainting, playdoh, music, dance, and many other things with the toddlers. And with the babies they did their tummy time, had colorful toys, etc and even charts about what developmental tasks they were supposed to be completing -sitting, crawling, walking, etc. This made me feel really good because I know in other places in the world, babies are on their own for really long periods of time. My friend who is a speech therapist told me a baby she works with here that was adopted from China was left alone 22 hours a day in his crib at an orphanage there. THat obviously led to a lot of severe delays/disabilities for the poor little guy.
As far as cooking- I am so happy you asked. My husband is an awesome cook (actually he does all of our cooking!). And when he gets home from work I will definitely ask him for recipes, tips, etc. I do know that he has commented that sometimes it is hard to find the exact right ingredients here. But if you have the aji, you should definitely be able to do something. I have tried to do a couple of the things that he has made, and for some reason, I dont have the touch, but he should be able to offer some good advice. So I will post again when I get the info from him!
So good to "chat"!