- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
June 2011 Moms
butterfly62682
member
FFFC
butterfly62682
member
Going back to the "I judge" post, someone said that they judge all moms that BF, EBF'ers, & Ep'er because she thinks that there is some sort of superiority going on and that we think we are better that those that have FF.
I have two things to say about that:
1) I busted my tail for 15 months hooked up to a pump to provide the best possible food for my child because that is what I chose for her. I am allowed to be proud of myself for doing something very difficult. It hurt my feelings a bit because FOR ME if I would have given up and just FF, I would have failed myself. Which leads into:
2) I think when someone gets upset about something like breastfeeding it's because they themselves were not 100% sure about their own decision and project their feelings about themselves onto others. I know when I make a decision that I am not sure about and I see someone else who did what I thought I should have done, then I usually have hard feelings because they chose what I thought was right.
I hope that made sense. I know there are women who couldn't breastfeed that not all women chose not to BF. I have no problems with women who chose to FF. As long as it's not a safety issue, I don't care.
~ Cassie ~
This discussion has been closed.
Re: FFFC
My food & craft blog: Fraises et Tartines
BFP #2: 9/29/12; EDD 6/8/2013; m/c 10/5/2012
BFP#3: 1/29/13; EDD 10/5/2013 - Baby Claire arrived 10/6/2013
C eats so much dirt it isn't even funny... and probably some dog poo too. She loves being outside and I don't want to be hovering over her every 5 minutes telling her no. I figure it's NBD.
I have been judged more for BF then all the FF moms I know put together have been for FF. Obviously it does happen, and I really don't think FF moms know how much crap us BF moms actually go through.
Alexis does the same thing with our cherry tomato plants. I never cut em up either.
My FFFC, is that I am spoiling the crap out of Alexis and it will probably bite me in the a$$ later and I don't care.
On DH's facebook, there is an Instagram photo of me holding a dark rootbeer bottle to Liv's mouth. We were both smiling. I know some people IRL probably questioned my sanity seeing that but I don't care. I thought it made for a cute picture. And no, no rootbeer actually made it to into her mouth.
C had a sip of my rootbeer before.
We have pictures of her tipping up empty beer bottles and wine bottles. I'm sure I get judged for that way more than you do for having a root beer bottle.
And Then There Were Three...
Married: 08/14/10
Baby #1 Born: 06/18/11
June Moms Blog
Well I'll raise you one and say that I've taken and posted pictures of Vito with an open beer bottle near his mouth. And, no, just like you, no beer was consumed.
This will certainly be flamable, but once Vito is a little older (5 or 6+) he will be allowed to take sips of my wine and beer.
I am by no means flaming you, I am just wondering why?
Mostly because my parents let me. At special occassions and holidays I was allowed to have a couple sips of wine at meals because that was very common in my family. Also, we are Catholic and it is a part of our ritual so he will have to at least sip it when he is in second grade.
Partly because I don't want him to be curious or in awe of these beverages and see them for what they are - beverages. I won't be one of those moms that lets other kids drink in her home and I won't buy him his own alcoholic drinks or anything like that. But I don't see it as a big deal to let him sample if he asks.
I see your reasoning. Hmmm... we are a big beer drinking family ourselves.
I would love it if Evie ate our cherry tomatoes--she just puts them in her mouth, bites them, and spits them back out.
Along those same lines, I know she's eaten her fair share of cat food, most of it while I am on the computer.
My dad gave me sips of his beer when I was little and I thought it was disgusting. I still don't drink beer and I didn't drink at all until I was 21, so I am not judging, Jills.
I called a 4 year old a little MF'er under my breath today when he told my DS "i'm going to smash your face". I am trying to teach DS to stand up for himself and say "i don't like that; you're being mean" and walk away when this little bastard says stuff to him (this isn't the first time). These kids are 4!!! How can you be a bully at 4 years old??
The mom is standing there chain smoking and another mom was giggling about how the 2 boys (bully + her son) got ahold of her iphone and took pics of each other without pants. I really don't think that's "cute". The apple doesn't fall far.
These kids were preschool classmates of DS last year and thankfully this year they are in a different class. I got to pick him up today b/c I wfh so we spent a few minutes on the playground and this is the fun...
Thanks for the vent ladies. I am not ready for little kids being such little jerks.
What a great picture of D! I'm glad I'm not the only one who isn't afraid of LO eating some dirt. Maybe we should have a kids eating dirt picture thread :-P
My food & craft blog: Fraises et Tartines
BFP #2: 9/29/12; EDD 6/8/2013; m/c 10/5/2012
BFP#3: 1/29/13; EDD 10/5/2013 - Baby Claire arrived 10/6/2013
My parents let me as well when I was little. Then when I was 13+ they would let me have my own wine coolers at the deer lease and what not, to "take away the mystery". Lets just say, I was an alcoholic before I graduated high school, rehab and all. I very rarely drink now and will most likely not do what my parents did with me.
Are you Italian, by any chance? With a name like Vito and now this, Italian seems likely. Anyway, I ask because I'm French and this way of thinking is pretty much how I look at it. I don't think we'll let DS try alcohol at 5, but if he wants to taste around 10-12, I'll let him. My mom always asked me if I wanted to try her wine when I was that age and I was such a goodie two shoes that I always said "no way! That's illegal!" Haha...I was (and still am) a dork. That being said, I really think that her offering made alcohol NBD to me and not some forbidden thing that I had to try in secret. This is common practice in French (and European) households and I think it promotes a healthy attitude about alcohol consumption (as long as parents are modeling healthy alcohol consumption too).
My food & craft blog: Fraises et Tartines
BFP #2: 9/29/12; EDD 6/8/2013; m/c 10/5/2012
BFP#3: 1/29/13; EDD 10/5/2013 - Baby Claire arrived 10/6/2013
AJC, I am sorry you went through that so young. I know that it happens and I saw it happen with one of my friends in high school too. I truly hope that as parents, none of us ever have to deal with that with our kids.
Chuicafina, yes Italian...the name Vito was obviously a dead give away. H and I were admittedly big drinkers before we had a child. Neither of us have a desire to get drunk or have more than one or two drinks these days. I'm hoping V will have a healthy attitude about alcohol and with food too.
Okay you take cake on this one
What a great photo!
He's grown quite a handsome little guy!
I was also given tastes of alcohol when I was a pre-teen. Hated the taste of the stuff and still never quite understand why people like them to this day. I also had an uncle who was alcholic. He was a disaster and at a very young age I knew I was not going to take the same path.
This was on Parenting.com today about giving your kids booze.
https://www.parenting.com/blogs/show-and-tell/brian-parentingcom/letting-your-kids-sip-booze-may-backfire?src=facebook
My family is Italian (grandpas Mom literally came over on the boat) and I was definitely drinking small amounts of wine at around 10 years old with meals . Only on special occasions and holidays.
BLOG
I pumped for 10 months, and I'm the one who made that judging post. I know not all BFers are smug B!tches about their choice, and I'm not saying it applies to you, but I've seen more than enough of it here and IRL to make the association.
Well based off your "judge" post, you implied all bf'er, ebf'er, and ep'er judge others and feel superior. I haven't seen any of what you have said and I know I am not the only one.
You are entitled to your opinion, however; I think, now knowing you pumped, that your being hypocritical knowing how hard and how much dedication goes into doing any the above. I believe anyone whoever Bf even a little should be able to have pride in that accomplishment and shouldn't be considered smug or superior.
And that is just my opinion about it.
It's not only posts from BFers judging FFing that bothered me, though I'm really surprised you don't remember any posts like that, because we have had plenty of them on this board, the BFing board, and basically anywhere BF and FF are discussed together.
Many of the posts where people pat themselves on the back over EPing and BFing come off as gloating and rub me the wrong way too. Especially after all the anti FF posts.
I don't visit any other boards, nor do I participate in them so whatever happens on them, I don't know. But on this board, June 2011 moms, if anyone has dissed someone for FFing then I have not seen it or it happened months ago. As far as showing pride in the fact that I am an EP'er and did so for 15 months and someone feeling inferior to that is not my problem. This board is about support for both sides of the fence. But I shouldn't have to keep my mouth shut in hopes that I don't hurt anyone's feelings.
I will stand by my feelings that we are allowed to feel proud and pat ourselves on the back for BFing or EPing. It's HARD. Which goes back to #2 in my FFFC. If someone feels inferior, I think it's for that reason.
Again I have no problem with anyone who had to or chose to FF. That was your decision to make. And I am sorry for those who couldn't BF but to group every BF & EF in the same category as those who do look down on it (FFing), is down right absurd.
Just to clarify, when I said I judge BFers as thinking they are better than FF, I wasn't talking about this board specifically. I was actually thinking of moms IRL at the playground. It's a generalization I made about BFers everywhere, based on things I've read online and heard in person since I got pregnant, and it's certainly possible to change my mind about a person once I get to know them.
Thank you for clearing that up. A lot of BF'ers get judged, too. Thank God I never came across it IRL, but if you look at a lot of post here you see that so many post about family and friends thinking they are weird for extended BFing. My SIL has gotten a lot of crap for continuing to BF past 6 mo.
And just to clear things up with you, I wasn't attacking you. I just wanted you to see the other side of it. I have never thought I was better than someone who chose to or had to FF. But I am very proud of the fact that I Ep'ed for so long. It was constant battle for me to stay motivated in the beginning and I found a lot of support from this board. So I might be a little defensive of someone saying that we are all feeling superior.
No hard feelings, at least none from me.
It wasn't so much of how long we have done it. I hope it didn't come off that way but that we did it. I am proud that I did it for so long but more proud of myself for sticking with it. I am proud that I provided any BM for my child period, and that should be okay for me to be proud of. That was my whole point. LOL and I don't think your post came off that way at all. You were asking for help and advice. That's okay.