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October 2012 Moms
I know I'm probably being irrational...
Ok ladies,
I know I'm probably being irrational here but I'm wondering if I'm the only one going through this.
I was diagnosed early with GD and recently I've been having some BP issues, the doc says it's not pre-e because I have no protein in my urine and my kidney/liver function is just fine when they draw blood, it's truly just "gestational hypertension."
Anyways, I have to go see a high risk OB next week and it's driving me absolutely effing crazy how much everyone (my grandma & MIL mostly) keep texting me for updates. Simple texts like "how are you feeling?, What's your BP? What did the doc say? When's your next appt?" and it is NONstop every day. I finally reached the point where I stopped texting back the other day because I already feel bad enough about what's going on with my body, I don't feel the need to re-hash it 10 times over with everyone, when I stopped texting the other day they started calling my sister asking if she knew where I was! (which to me seemed overboard!)
Long story short, I'm just tired of everyone wanting to know all my business. I know they're just concerned and care about me but for some reason I get really upset and frustrated that they're being so "nosy!" I want to fix it so I don't feel that way, because they mean well, but I just don't know how to!
Anyone else going through this?
***EDIT: I just had a thought, I'm probably frustrated with the GD and high BP but just taking it out on them for some reason since they won't quit talking about it. Still, I don't know how to change that.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I know I'm probably being irrational...
I remember when I was pregnant with DS1 my mom and MIL would get upset if I didn't call them after every doctor appointment. There was never any new information after the appointments, but they needed to hear that from me. It drove me nuts. I completely understand what you're going through. I would just tell them that you will let them know when you have information to share and that they should otherwise assume that you're feeling fine.
It is nice that they care, but I can see how their constant contact is driving you batshitcrazy.
I would send a simple text that says "Everything is the same, nothing new, I will alert you guys if anything changes - you will be the first to know...but you guys hounding me is doing my BP no favors."
Agree! Especially the bolded point there. Lately, everytime my phone goes off I find myself rolling my eyes. I should have also mentioned I'm on bedrest. So I'm also constantly getting calls to see if I need anything on top of the BP/GD questions. (I don't mean to sound ungrateful by any means but I'm about ready to just shut my darn phone off!)
I think this response is pretty much perfect. I send my mom and my husband's aunt (she's like a mother to him) an email with updates after each appointment, but I don't get the constant calls/texts. My mom does harass me weekly for a picture though, since she lives so far away and can't see my belly. I try to send her one, but when I don't feel like taking one, I don't. She whines a little and I just tell her that I'm sorry, and maybe next week, but I don't feel up to it, blah blah blah. She's pretty understanding about it.
I agree with PPs. I think they mean well but I can see how it would be beyond.
Say that and then ignore further questions!
It does seem excessive to call your sister after you don't respond to their text messages. I would just let them know you are fine but that it's stressful to keep receiving text messages from them. Let them know you appreciate their concern but to rest assured that if there is anything important you need to tell them you will and until then to please allow you to relax and focus on other things.
I can see how this is adding more stress to the situation, just try to take care of yourself and your baby as best you can!
Not being irrational at all. If they can text, are they also on Facebook? I make a lot of "everything is fine with my high-risk pregnancy" posts, which probably drives more casual acquaintances crazy but it keeps me from having to field a zillion "How are you feeling?" messages that I often don't want to answer. A cheerful sounding sentence or two sometimes keeps me from responding with a discouraged rant.
Hang in there.
My mom is obsessive too. She reads what I'm going through every week in her book, and seriously this is my second pregnancy and my sister has had 2 pregnancies as well - none of this is new to her. She calls every day just to see how I'm doing and she makes me call her after every single OB appointment and ultrasound (like writes them in her calendar!) and it was just too much for me. I stopped telling her when they are, but she knows they're towards the end of the week now.
We had a very frank discussion last night in which I told her that I get that she's concerned and excited, but she's adding to my stress, and if there's an issue I'll let her know but I will no longer be updating her daily on my progress and calling after every appointment. I'm 34, I have my act together, and I have DH here if I need anything, and if I need her or have something she needs to know I will let her know. I could tell she was kind of offended, but seriously?