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Night weaning- help please!

KMEss86KMEss86
in Attachment Parenting

My LO is 19 months old. He nurses to sleep with me in his own bed, and I bring him into our bed when he wakes up the first time. The rest of the night he spends with us, waking and nursing usually 4-6 times... Lately I just can't take it anymore. Im uncomfortable, tired, and get really restless and angry about being woken up constantly. I want to night wean, and was planning just not nurse him.... hug him, shush him, whatever I have to do to get him back to sleep without nursing. Obviously this wont go over well. Any tips?  I feel so desperate to do it, but am dreading it at the same time. 

Also, Im thinking that if we stop nursing, he will stop waking up... right? 

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Re: Night weaning- help please!

  • ncbellencbelle member

    Have you checked out the Jay Gordon method?  It's a very baby friendly, gradual approach to night weaning that is worth a look (google should turn up a good summary).

    What was key for me in night weaning Callum (and in my half hearted night weaning of Eleanor that is in progress) was to get DH involved.  Right now, E starts out in her own bed.  When she wakes the first time, DH goes in and gets her back down - if I try (which I have to on nights he works) - it's not a pretty scene!  She does get angry but settles pretty quickly with DH (no boobs around to tempt her).  

    With Callum we started with the first wake up and then I'd sleep with him after that (because I was too lazy to stay up!).  Eventually we pushed back the time when I'd go in to nurse - so at first I'd only go if he woke after midnight, then 2, and so on.

     He did sleep longer stretches around that same time.  He had also started sleeping longer stretches some before that as well - in part because of his age (and the fact he wasn't teething at the time) and in part because we moved him to a floor bed in his room about a month earlier (so I wasn't waking him up anymore).  So no guarantees night wakings will end completely, but a good chance they will go down at least. 



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  • jaymiegerardjaymiegerard member
    We plan to do the Jay Gordon method when we're ready to night-wean!
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  • Angela814Angela814 member

    I read the Jay Gordon method, but since my DD doesn't wake up before midnight anyway, it was essentially like doing it cold turkey for us. I night weaned when DD2 was just over 2 years. (Night weaned DD1 at 26 months.) Basically we just talked about how she could have her milk in the morning, but when it was dark it was time to sleep. DD1 spent months still asking for milk and being upset about it. She still came into bed with us; she just cuddled up with me instead of nursing. DD2 doesn't ask anymore when she first comes into our bed, but she will if it's closer to morning (4-5am). I just remind her that she'll get her milk in the morning and pop her paci back in.

    DD1 did not stop waking at night after night weaning. She didn't start STTN consistently until she was 5yo. DD2 is still waking at night even though she doesn't nurse at night anymore.

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  • monaluamonalua member
    Definitely Google the Dr. Jay Gordon method.  We used a modified version of it with great success - although my LO was older - 26 months - when we tried it. He cried for about 30 minutes the first night, 15 minutes the second night, and 5 minutes the third night. I have always rocked him in conjunction with nursing him so I just rocked/cuddled him when he woke up. I also offered him a cup of cow's milk. After about a month he started sleeping through the night!!!  In our bed with us, but he never wakes up and asks for milk anymore.  A few times a week he'll wake up maybe once and need to cuddle or a sip of cow's milk, but that's it.  Prior to night weaning he was waking up every 1-3 hours to nurse, every night.  It really worked!  With him being older, we did explain to him what was happening, that the milk was going to sleep, and we gave him a little wrapped gift each morning for a week for "letting the milk sleep."  I'm still in awe it worked. Definitely look into it!  Good luck!
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